Intro Text
Away day stories are what football, and especially Scottish football, are all about. Nothing beats that feeling of being far from the comforts of your home stadium, out in the wilds of the Scottish Highlands or in the menacing backstreets of a nearby rival’s town.
Such emotions and tensions often lead to some of the craziest stories that can be heard out on the terraces. Unfortunately, even some of the very best football away day stories can be ruined if the person telling them is not schooled in the ways of spinning a yarn.
Here we take a look at exactly how to go about telling the mother of all away day stories, in a manner that will have fellow fans roaring with laughter and showering you with praise and rounds of applause. We do this by looking at how the fans and players from other sports and Esports go about telling their long tales. After all, no one wants to be that person who finishes a story and finds they’ve cleared a room.
“Once upon a time in Aberdeen, me and the boys went for a wee walk, when low and behold we came a across a…”
No One Likes a Moaner or Dull Technicalities
Above all else a story must be tension-riddled, otherwise those listening are likely to just walk away towards a more interesting conversation or find their thoughts wandering to what they might have for dinner or what sort of online game they might play into the early hours.
This means it can be difficult to sell a story to your audience if all that you are building towards is a good moan about how things went wrong for you or your team that day, because more often than not, people just won’t care.
The same goes for dull technicalities that can often creep in when telling a story about an online game or a sport which is full of rules and regulations. To get a better response from your audience, it is always wise to steer clear of trying to remember out loud who scored which goal, or what a certain offside rule vagary was back in the day, and instead stick to developing your characters, keeping your scenes packed with tension, and growing the sense that the story’s climactic payoff will all be worth it.
This applies to stories about everything from football away days to poker tournaments and means that anytime you find yourself drifting towards feeling sorry for yourself or getting into stats and intricacies whilst telling a story, you must change tack and get your plot back on track.
Told in the right way, away day stories can be the spark to ignite an incredible night out or a moment to savour amongst fellow fans
Tension is Nothing Without Surprise
Nothing is more pointless than an away day story where everyone listening knows exactly how it ends. Usually, the only time people will stick through such a story is if they are scared of what the consequences may be if they choose to stop listening, such as if a landlord or boss are telling it.
Other story tellers who cannot count on the balance of power being swayed so unnaturally in their favour must rely instead on providing a surprise, or a number of surprises, for their listeners. This can come in the form of a whacky plot twist that no one sees coming, or the demise or unexplainable rise of a character, or even just something vaguely dramatic, like you dropping your award winning matchday pie and having to watch on as a seagull gorges on its succulent filling.
Characters Who Make Mistakes Are Always the Best
No one in Scottish football ever tolerates a know-it-all or someone who is intent on forcing their own precious opinion down peoples’ necks. The same goes for stories; where flawed characters who make silly mistakes will always be loved more than those with squeaky clean reputations who never put a foot wrong.