5 True Statements About Yourself...

[Jimmy85]

No. To use perthshirebell's patter.

Well in that case job done on both counts.

[Glen Sannox]

I've kissed Deborah Harry.

I cry at any stories of cruelty to chidren, the vulnerable or animals

Although decent at Golf, Pool and Darts, i'm a complete choker when it gets to the nitty gritty,

I hate violent people and genuinely hope they die

I can talk my way into anything and out of anything, although not a hugely confident person, I can sell for Britain

[Davis Love III]

I've spent the last 40 minutes reading through this thread in its entirety and I have been thoroughly entertained!

Pie and Bovril at its very best, shame we don't see threads of this quality as often these days.

[Bowers]

1) i dont eat food which isn't solid e.g. soup

2) Im sacred of horses

3) i have a fascination with early 20th century Russian history.

4) i have an all rock/metal i-pod and dont like most other genres of music

5) i take some credit for breaking up the boyband triple 8 as they came to my school, i told the they were shite and they disappeared forever.

[Vanquinho.]

Despite being very emotionally stable, seeing videos or pictures depicting cruelty to animals makes me very, very angry.

Despite hating most other people, I have a knack for making people feel very good about themselves when they really need it, just using a few words.

I can listen to, and enjoy, almost every genre of music.

I never applied myself in school, I was too interested in playing football and mucking about with my pals. I was more than capable of walking out of school with A's in Advanced Higher courses, but ultimately the best I got were Credit grades in Physics, Maths and Administration and a host of General grades in others.

Despite being near-addicted to console gaming up until the age of 21, I have played a PS3/X360 for about a total of 10 hours in the past 3 years. I've been a PC gamer for that time and now I'm really looking forward to getting a console and getting all the games I've been missing out on for cheap as f*ck

[mattydfc]

1. Used drugs less than 5 times

2. If I could be bothered with football I reckon I could at least play for a top junior team maybe higher, but I doubt it

3. If I could be bothered with education I reckon I wouldn't be unemployed and constantly bored

4. I'm the fastest person I know

5. I'm quite good at cooking for an 18 year old boy

[McKee]

I've spent the last 40 minutes reading through this thread in its entirety and I have been thoroughly entertained!

Pie and Bovril at its very best, shame we don't see threads of this quality as often these days.

I've done the same, and I agree. Very good thread. I should probably contribute since I've helped ruin the last page or so.

1. I very, very rarely get bored. I left school in May and despite doing doing nothing other than sit around the house, play football and go out on weekends, I'm quite happy to admit this has been comfortably the most enjoyable period of my life. It will have to end soon, as I'm looking for a job at the minute, which is fucking difficult in Inverclyde, one of the worst in the UK in that respect. That will last me up until September next year, when I'll leave to go to Uni in Edinburgh, I've decided. I could very easily have gone this year of course, but total and utter laze and a stubbornness to be different from everyone else means I didn't bother touching UCAS. In a way I don't regret it at all, as I've had an immensely enjoyable time of it the last 6 months, but seeing all of your mates go off and do something with there life, while you're doing f**k all with yours is a wee bit wearying.

2. Went on a lads holiday to Malia in June. Quite a few things happened. I woke up in the street one morning in the middle of town and didn't know where I was. I had scratches all over my legs and I walked about for about an hour trying to find my way to the hotel until two girls from my year in school helped me home. I lost my travel card on the 4th day, and had to live off about €300 in cash that I had until the 10th day when I got my money back. Had to stay in by my self most of the nights in because of a lack of funds, and caught a burglar trying to ransack our room.

After leaving my mates in a club early and going back to the hotel, i got talking to a girl having a fag outside a hotel and as we were walking off and saying our goodbyes she suggested "we have sex to The Beatles" as she'd seen me wearing a Beatles t-shirt a day or two prior. being the wrecked, nervous, quivering wreck that I am, I just laughed it off and assumed she was joking.

3. I've got a game time of around 100 days on Fm10,11 and 12. Since FM12 came out a few of weeks ago, I've played 138 hours of it. It works to be an average of about 7 hours a day. Yes that's right, I've spent 30% of the last few weeks on FM. It's fucking scandalous, but I should probably say I spend my weekdays atm waking up at about 3 and going to bed at about 3. The computer is turned on for all of the 12 hours, even if it's left doing nothing for a few hours while I'm doing something else.

4. I can remeber very little about the first time I had a w**k other than, a) i didn't really know what I was doing, and didn't know it had a name for about 2 years b) i done it really, really frequently during that day and c) i had one during a pause in a game of Fifa 2003 between Lyon and Barca and one during an advert break for the Mucha Lucha cartoon program.

5. I despise nightclubs and everything about them. The music, the having to pay to get in, the overpriced drinks, the incessant need to be dancing or talking to someone without feeling like a social outcast. The only part I enjoy is the 40 minute walk home while I'm pished. I absolutey love walking home drunk, it's one of life's best experiences.

[Mik]

1/ My memory is f*cking terrible. I forget things all the time.

2/ I quite often talk to myself

3/ I was a bit of a shut-in in my early teenage years. Only started going out when I hit 17

4/ I always try and look on the brighter side of things

5/ My memory is f*cking terrible. I forget things all the time

[Guest]

1) I've got about £150 more than I thought I would after coming back from a lads holiday and I'm considering blowing it on another weekend away myself somewhere, something I've never done before. This is despite the fact that I hate doing things on my own in public, and would never go to the pub/football/cinema/a restaurant on my own in Scotland.

2) Despite being genuinely not racist in the slightest, I tend to avoid sitting next to Asians in the library, because I find they make too much noise. As we speak there's one behind me bleathering on his phone in the quiet section.

3) The older I get the more I feel less and less Scottish, and more Irish. Despite this, I hate plastic paddies.

4) I find lesbian porn really boring.

5) I love the feeling of having a kip during the day, but hate waking up from one.

Edited November 2, 2011 by Guest

[smpar]

4/ I always try and look on the brighter side of things

Essential for a sellick fan

[F_T_Y]

4. When I was 18, I copped off with my best mate's girlfriend behind his back for over a year. He still doesn't know.

What a c**t.

[ayrmad]

I've done the same, and I agree. Very good thread. I should probably contribute since I've helped ruin the last page or so.

1. I very, very rarely get bored. I left school in May and despite doing doing nothing other than sit around the house, play football and go out on weekends, I'm quite happy to admit this has been comfortably the most enjoyable period of my life. It will have to end soon, as I'm looking for a job at the minute, which is fucking difficult in Inverclyde, one of the worst in the UK in that respect. That will last me up until September next year, when I'll leave to go to Uni in Edinburgh, I've decided. I could very easily have gone this year of course, but total and utter laze and a stubbornness to be different from everyone else means I didn't bother touching UCAS. In a way I don't regret it at all, as I've had an immensely enjoyable time of it the last 6 months, but seeing all of your mates go off and do something with there life, while you're doing f**k all with yours is a wee bit wearying.

2. Went on a lads holiday to Malia in June. Quite a few things happened. I woke up in the street one morning in the middle of town and didn't know where I was. I had scratches all over my legs and I walked about for about an hour trying to find my way to the hotel until two girls from my year in school helped me home. I lost my travel card on the 4th day, and had to live off about €300 in cash that I had until the 10th day when I got my money back. Had to stay in by my self most of the nights in because of a lack of funds, and caught a burglar trying to ransack our room.

After leaving my mates in a club early and going back to the hotel, i got talking to a girl having a fag outside a hotel and as we were walking off and saying our goodbyes she suggested "we have sex to The Beatles" as she'd seen me wearing a Beatles t-shirt a day or two prior. being the wrecked, nervous, quivering wreck that I am, I just laughed it off and assumed she was joking.

3. I've got a game time of around 100 days on Fm10,11 and 12. Since FM12 came out a few of weeks ago, I've played 138 hours of it. It works to be an average of about 7 hours a day. Yes that's right, I've spent 30% of the last few weeks on FM. It's fucking scandalous, but I should probably say I spend my weekdays atm waking up at about 3 and going to bed at about 3. The computer is turned on for all of the 12 hours, even if it's left doing nothing for a few hours while I'm doing something else.

4. I can remeber very little about the first time I had a w**k other than, a) i didn't really know what I was doing, and didn't know it had a name for about 2 years b) i done it really, really frequently during that day and c) i had one during a pause in a game of Fifa 2003 between Lyon and Barca and one during an advert break for the Mucha Lucha cartoon program.

5. I despise nightclubs and everything about them. The music, the having to pay to get in, the overpriced drinks, the incessant need to be dancing or talking to someone without feeling like a social outcast. The only part I enjoy is the 40 minute walk home while I'm pished. I absolutey love walking home drunk, it's one of life's best experiences.

I don't want to spoil the party Mckee,but I just don't understand how you can knock back Wild honey pie, only a Madman would knock back the chance of a Magical mystery tour, and folk think I'm a loser. Get your act together or you're going Nowhere man, Too much monkey business will lead to a life of Misery, at your age you should be ragdolling them Here, there and everywhere, If you don't man up soon you'll be Crying, waiting, hoping It won't be long to you get offered your next Ticket to ride.

Edited November 3, 2011 by ayrmad

[JamboMikey]

1. I'm ultra-competitive about the guitar and will never accept that anyone I meet is better than me.

2. I will laugh at anything despite the inappropriateness of it. My dad has a picture of me wearing a cardboard bedpan as a hat and a surgical mask sitting next to my mum who was having an asthma attack in hospital.

3. I had my first w**k aged 11 and felt so disgusted afterward that I was physically ill.

4. I regularly get a lump in my throat when watching documentaries and things with emotional stuff.

5. I'm 5'7"ish and only became comfortable being wee in the last couple of years.

[the jambo-rocker]

1. I'm ultra-competitive about the guitar and will never accept that anyone I meet is better than me.

I'm a better guitarist than you

(mind-melting guitar solo)

[Long live the 69]

1. I've always been "life smart" while getting shit grades at school (being able to cook, knowing how to avoid neds etc)

2. My current girlfriend (and the only other i've ever had) we're both huge F1 fans who hate(d) football

3. When i'm playing FM12, i can't finish the session without winning. Even if it's a great away draw, i'll play the next game to get the 3 points.

4. I spent 15 hours with a rifle watching over the Glasgow airport bomber who was on fire while he was recovering in hospital (i'm in the armed response unit with Strathclyde police)

5. I've never ever been to England. I've been to New York, LA, Spain, France, ROI, but never England.Not even to English airports.

Edited November 3, 2011 by Long live the 69

[DEMON]

in no particular order

1/ i believe in eugenics with the population of earth over 7 billion something drastic must be done to reduce the population growth so future generations do not suffer, take Asia for example 4 billion people their should only be 300 million maximum, Africa has over a billion people most of them live in abject poverty, Africa is lucky if it could support 250 million people, the fact being the world's population should be no more than 1.25 billion, the facts are Homo Sapiens beings are breeding like rats, whilst damaging the envoiroment and rapidly increasing extinctions among endangered speices. in the EU Netherlands are a prime example, in 1981 the netherlands population was similar to Scotland's 30 years later their population is nearly 3 times more than Scotland as Scotland's population stagnent

2/ i say what is on my mind

3/ i am a nationalist and Scottish patriot!!

4/ i haven't drunk alcohol in 5 years and i don't miss it

5/ I am a Athiest and i believe if you are a Christian you should be nailed to a wooden cross then set on fire

Edited November 3, 2011 by DEMON

[bullywee]

1 - i'm a bitch

2 - i'm a lover

3 - i'm a child

4 - i'm a mother

5 - i'm a sinner

ahh f**k it, i'll give one more seeing as everyone else has

6 - i'm a saint

[SaltyTON]

1) I'm terrified of midgets.

2) I can't cycle and can barely swim (flapping around doing a very slow doggy paddle doesn't really count)!

3) I am doing a post grad MSc in Information Systems Development and have no idea why...

4) I have two tattoos. (A penguin and a gothic cross)

5) My favourite band are Journey.

Let's see if this is still true, I was about to post then checked up and noticed I had done this before...

1. Yes, they are truly terrifying.

2. Yip that's still true, although I haven't tried to do either since posting that I wouldn't have thought.

3. I still have no idea why, met some good people though.

4. I have 6, two crosses, the penguin, GMFC, a Villa lion and a Scottish thistle/Saltire combo.

5. Of course... don't stop believin'!

PS bullywee, you don't feel ashamed, do you?

[SaltyTON]

5/ I am a Athiest and i believe if you are a Christian you should be nailed to a wooden cross then set on fire

Why a wooden cross? That seems like pandering to something which you claim to abhor.

[Michael W]

Thought it would be interesting to see how things change...

1. I like Rave music and I'm not afraid to admit it. In actual fact, I like most forms of Dance music, just my like of Hardcore Dance tends to get me a fair bit of abuse for my tastes.

2. Because of the above, many people often lazily assume "oh, he must take drugs". I have never taken drugs in my life, and I have no intentions of ever doing so. I've never smoked either.

3. In person, I'm quite an easy going guy. I did have temper issues when I was about 14/15, but they disappeared as I grew up. I have a ruthless competitive streak in me when playing sport though. I absolutely detest losing, even in games which are only classed as a kickabout. Nothing infuriates me more than when I'm playing football and people start pissing about.

4. Alcohol doesn't really bother me. Sure, I like a night out every now and then, but I can regularly go over a month without an alcoholic drink at a time and it really doesn't bother me in the slightest.

5. I'm quite easily satisfied in life. Nothing pleases me more than having a long lie and being able to sit and do nothing for a day.

1. I still do like what people would refer to as Rave music. I don't listen to UK Hardcore much these days, or indeed Hardstyle. It's been mostly Trance for the last six months or so.

2. Still have never smoked or taken drugs, and I intend to keep it that way.

3. I still get major rage issues when I'm playing football and people stop taking the game seriously. This hasn't happened for a while, however, as my last game of 7s ended with me in A&E - I did my ankle ligaments again, having done the same thing a year earlier. My ankle is now pretty much fucked, and I've only played twice since, and it was only a kickabout.

4. This is again true now, although I had a spell not too long after that post was written where I was out more or less every weekend. This ended when I got together with my girlfriend, and I'm glad that spell is over.

5. True to an extent, although I really need to get a proper job. I've had my fun of being a student and lazing all the time; it's starting to get me down now.

More recent ones...

1) I am a bit of an angry driver. I get very wound up when people cut me up, or don't indicate when I'm sat at a roundabout. The average speed cameras and 40mph limit in place going to Edinburgh severely piss me off too.

2) For the first time in my life, I've become apathetic towards my team. I've sat through a lot worse than I'm witnessing at the moment, but the enthusiasm has completely been sucked out of it.

3) I scored a winning penalty at Starks Park. It's the only penalty I've ever taken, and it was the winner in a sudden death shootout. I shat out of taking the one before me, in the hope that the opposition would miss and I wouldn't have to take one .

4) I can't stand children. I find them noisy, irritating and they just seem like a whole lot of work. Many people have told me it's different if they're your own, but I would be perfectly happy if I never had children.

5) When I was younger, I was a pretty strong patriot. As the years go by, I care less and less about Scotland. Indeed, I'm very interested in the prospect of working abroad, and would leave here in a heartbeat if the right opportunity was there.