5 True Statements About Yourself...

[Gaz]

2. I hate black people singing (dont know why , im not racist or nothin there just shit)

3. My younger brother is gay and everytime I see him a part of me dies inside.

Some absolute SCENES on the early pages of this thread.

[Tamdunk]

1. I was an extra in a straight to video version of macbeth and was in a scene with Brian blessed, which got cut.

2. I finished the first level of sonic 2 in 20 seconds and am sure this is a world record.

3. I'm very judgemental of the height that people wear their guitars.

4. Whenever I really hate something, I start to find it funny for the reaction it brings out in me, then more often than not, end up liking it.

5. No 4 hasn't happened with Prof Brian 'get that fucking camera on me' Cox so it's not a universal rule.

[the jambo-rocker]

1. I love women, but they dont love me. Still true.

2. I play of a seven handicap respectively even though i barely play(prefer matchplay to strokeplay as i get away with mistakes more). Stopped playing years ago after snapping to many clubs and berating anyone who said I took it too seriously.

3. I love rock and alternative and hate rnb and dance. Mostly a lover of acoustic & Indie now.

4. Hate buses and yet i still dont know how to drive. I still hate buses, but I drive now.

5. I love watching movies, my dvd collection is getting huge!! More of a US TV fanboy now

, but I'm trying cut down. I haven't bought a DVD in years

go for five more

1. i lost my virginity through the help of a bottle of straight vodka(barely remember much of it!) < Still applies

2. i taught myself how to play guitar for the last two and a bit years and am starting to lose interest as i cant seem to make anymore progress. Haven't played in years, and now I fear touching will show just how shit I am at it now.

3. Out of all my mates, i'm the only one who went into full-time employment instead of uni, as i wanted to get paid to learn through an apprenticeship. This will be sixth year or higher learning, and I am fucking sick to my stomach of it now.

4. I like watching the x-factor but i hate all the songs that have came from them. Who the f**k is this guy? X-factor is terrible

5. i think southern comfort is the best drink in the world(also made the same year that hearts were founded!) Correct

why not another 5

1. I really hate people. Not in a petty, pathetic way, but in a genuine spiteful way. I hate how hypicritical they are in particular, especially the ones at my work. In my opinion i think that everyone looks after number 1 no matter how much they say they dont, and they are everything that is wrong with the world. I was a lot angrier at the world, still am, but a bit more rational.

2. The only girl that i have ever cared about in a relationship was a holiday romance that lasted a grand total of 36 hours at the most. She had to return home and we barely even had the chance to get to know each other before she had to return home. I still think about her at times of boredom and loneliness, and dont think i ll ever find anyone like her ever again(even if i barely knew her). #vergeoftears

3. As much as i love movies, i hate the ones with happy endings. It gives me false hope and if any the fictional storys happened our world it would end up with a bullet in the hero's head or the damsel in distress getting a spit roasting rape from the bad guys. Correct

4. I love my cat for the reason that no matter how much i hate myself, she ll always love me. NOTHING TO SEE HERE MOVE ALONG!

5. I have attempted to write my own songs with my guitar, and the best i ve got is rifts, no structure, and shite lyrics. See post 2, note 2.

1. Well I used to be a w****r evidently, but probably still am.

2. With me turning 25 next year, I really do feel like I need to knuckle down and start taking myself seriously. My work ethic is still appalling, I do nothing with myself when I get home, I don't even excercise anymore, and I always leave stuff to the last minute still. December will be my blowout blaze of glory before I strive to become a contributing member to society.

3. Never had a relationship longer than three months, and it annoys immensely that literally everyone else (parents married for nearly 30 years, and each of my three younger siblings in at least three year relationships). I wouldn't mind the single life as much if I was actually getting some, but I'm not so much to the point that I went through a phase this spring/summer that will forever be remembered as the 'phatty phase' due to my complete lack of standards and frustration.

4. I've really found myself losing interest in football these days, whether it's the pessimism of this season following Hearts, or the plain level of overhyped premier league football on the TV. I actually loathe people who have second English teams with absolutely no reason at all, yet because I'm so passive-aggressive, will berate them mercillessly in my head.

5. People think I'm actually quite mellow, but I've just learned to hide my anger better. When I was younger I used to have the thinnest skin ever to the point that I now feel like I've over-corrected. Whenever I do get angry, I go completely silent out of sheer fear of embarrassing myself. My only place for venting now is when I'm alone in my car, and venting my frustrations with bursts of rage at the smallest things on the road. I can't argue in the flesh either because I'm driven to the point that I struggle to utter words. This why I probably find it a lot easier via a forum because I have time to think before unleashing a shower of shit from my mouth.

Edited November 28, 2013 by the jambo-rocker

[cracowjambo]

1. I'm lazy as f**k at work. I often fall way below the minimum targets and never get moaned at

2. I'm lazy around the house.

3. I have 2 tattoos and I don't like the big one anymore

4. I have a masterbation addiction

5. I hate being around people I prefer my own company

[ayrunitedfw]

1. I shat myself in Dubai Airport on the way back from Australia. When I say shat i'm not just meaning a little bit it was running down my legs and up my back.. I was about 14 and had been feeling complete shite (pardon the pun) all day. I decided that eating somethig was neccasary as I had about a 7 hour flight infront of me and hadn't eaten anything since I had left Australia as the meals on the plane are rancid. I had barely even finished when bang shite was flying out my arse at some rate. I waddled off to the toilet where the full extent of the damage was revealed. I spent a good 20 mins trying to clean myself(and the toilet) before giving up and phoning my dad to go get me spare clohes from somewhere. I spent the vast majority of the flight home on the toilet and was getting funny looks every time I walked out of it, the smell i suspect. I know also take spare clothes in my hand luggage just incase an incident like that was to happen again.

2. The only time i've ever been in trouble with the police was down in Stranraer at the begining of the season. Me being the show-off drank far too much on the train on the way down and as soon as I arrived at the stattion in Stranraer I passed out. The police turned up and tried to sober me up but I kept drifting in and out of conscinous. The ambulance then turned up and I was bundled on to a stretcher and rushed to the hospital. I think I would have been charged if it wasn't for the fact they took pity on me. My dad had to come and pick me up and I never made the game. I have since banned myself from drinking vodka, drink of the devil.

3. As already mentioned on other threads, I have appeared on You've Been Framed. Falling while dancing with my cousin on the dancefloor at my Aunties weeding. We still to this day dont know who sent it in which is quite strange and slightly creepy that someone has been filming children.

4. At 18 I have only had two proper relationships(discounting ones at primary). One of which lasted 2 and a half years and one which lasted 6 months.The 6 month one ended in May and there is still a lot of bitterness between us and her relatives despise me. Its quite cute really.

5. I've got a bet on with one of my mates that if Ayr United dont win promotion this season I have to get a tattoo of the Ayr United badge on my arm. Not too bad i hear you say however it should be noted that I am not a fan of tattos especially football related tattoos which I think look really tacky and cheap.

Bonus

6. I love the Scotland National Football team however I think the Tartan Army are a bunch of self-important, attention seeking wankers. I would probably attend a lot more Scotland games if it wasn't for them.

7. I have a weird and unhealthy obsession with Ellie Goulding

8. I hate people who refer to foreign teams as "we or "us". Proper cringy

Will add more when i've got more time.

Edited November 28, 2013 by ayrunitedfw

[The Naitch]

1. I love watching Countdown. Not so much these days.

2. I once written an article in the Evening Times defending Chris Templeman's time at Morton. Aye, that still makes me chuckle. Poor Bambi.

3. I have a Journalism degree (with honours) but so far doing f**k all with it. Still doing f**k all with it.

4. I have 271 DVDs and hardly watch any of them. Still got a huge collection. Still not watching them.

5. I hate spaghetti bolognese. Yeah, that stuff is still disgusting.

f**k it, five more from me...

6. I am painfully shy. Still am, but have come out of my shell in these last couple of years.

7. If I have to be somewhere at a certain time, I always make sure I'm there an hour early. That stems from an extreme annoyance of being late. Still the case.

8. I'm a Champ Manager addict. I've not played Champ for about a year now. Might get back into it.

9. My most treasured possession is my iPod Touch. My last iPod Touch died on me and not bothered to replace it.

10. I like playing bingo. Still have a night out at the bingo every so often. What?

Can't believe it's almost five years since this thread started...

11. Moved out of my parents' place just over a year ago and it's the best decision I ever made. Should have done it sooner.

12. As a result of 11. I've become a bit more handy with basic DIY stuff. Still can't wire a plug, though.

13. I much prefer a cosy night in to a night out.

14. I really enjoy baking.

15. I'm a Victoria Wood fan.

[el buitre]

Here goes.......

1. I think i could do anything if i tried hard enough....but the fact im a lazy b*****d means i pretty much just talk a good game

2. I have no time for most of the population, i think i could quite happily live on a desert island and never feel the need to contact anybody again

3. I defend people who are only children against people who have brothers and sisters and insist its quite a good way to grow up, but being truthful i think its being an only child that makes me a bit of a sociopath (see no.2)

4. I dont mind the rain but windy weather bursts my tits

5. I love my kids but hate everybody else's

[The Naitch]

You come across a bit "fabulous" if you don't mind me saying.

Never been described as fabulous before.

Don't think I've really hidden my sexuality on here, incidentally. Should probably have put that into one of my five true statements. Ho hum.

[Paco]

Christ. I posted in this thread five years ago, when I was still at school. I also appear to have been a bellend.

1. I absolutely cannot keep a straight face when winding people up. Which is a shame, as I come up with some pretty elaborate plans. - I can definitely manage this a lot better. I lie constantly for fun. Not bad lies, just pointless wind-ups.

2. I'm possibly the most laid back person you could meet. I haven't got an urgent bone in my body. - remains true. Everyone I know says it, and it drives some daft. I genuinely don't see the point of panicking in any situation.

3. I ran over one of the stewards at a go-karting track once. Oops. - I'd forgotten about this. Scenes.

4. Boredom will drive me to anything. I've taken apart chairs and knocked holes in walls because I'm not too keen on Hiden's view of the economic problems facing Weimar Germany in 1923. - Advanced Higher History days, clearly. Nowadays I'm content enough to browse the web or watch a TV show rather than tear apart school classrooms.

5. I once appeared in my local paper glaring at Andy Smith after he missed a sitter against Forfar in 2003. The look of disgust on my face makes everyone who has ever seen it laugh. - a belter of a picture. I still laugh.

I'll try for another five...

1. I hate it when it's too hot. I'll happily sit in the house with no heating on in the winter, and it doesn't bother me in the slightest. If I'm abroad on holiday the heat makes me tired very quickly too, and I'm a fit enough person - yeah, still much the same. I become seriously grouchy in the heat, managed to cut it out for the most part when travelling with mates in the summer but it just does something to me.

2. I don't really want to leave school in the summer. For all the moaning I do about it, I do absolutely nothing every day while having a great laugh with my mates. Why would I possibly want to leave and actually have to try at something? - I left school a few months after this post and recently graduated from uni. Fair to say uni topped school by millions of miles.

3. I'm 17 and have never had a job. The only reason I'm actually looking for one now is to pay for driving lessons. I'm a lazy git and enjoy my free time too much, even if I do nothing. - pretty sure I got a job very shortly after this. I'm still a lazy b*****d mind you.

4. I don't really see the attraction of getting pissed all the time. Sure, I'll have a drink when I'm out, but I only really do it because everybody else is. I'm genuinely not really bothered. - fair to say that changed when I moved out and went to uni. I'm relatively certain my Mum thought I had a drink problem last summer.

5. I've never had what you would class a 'relationship' with a girl, and at the moment it doesn't interest me either. Don't want a girl tying me down at my age, I've seen it ruin a few good mates already. Nothing sadder than seeing guys that used to be a great laugh tagging along at the end of the group texting their burd. - I am now said mate. Well, not quite. Been going out with a girl for over a year having went up 'til 21 without entering what you'd term a 'relationship'.

Five new ones:

1. I graduated uni in the summer and haven't as of yet found a 'proper' job as a result. Stuck in the same job I had throughout my studies, which I absolutely detest. Willing to do virtually anything to get out, but I'm absolutely terrified I won't.

2. I done a wee bit of travelling in Europe in the summer, and really want to do some more across Asia - specifically Vietnam, Thailand and Cambodia.

3. On a similar note, I really want to live abroad at some point in my life but I know full well that unless an opportunity falls into my lap it just won't happen. I'll use any number of excuses, from not facying learning a new language to worries over the food or being homesick, but the reality is I'm just a wuss.

4. I'm becoming somewhat disillusioned with football at the top level. I retain an active interest in Arsenal, I'd like to claim there's a reason but aside from latching onto them at the age of 3 or 4 there just isn't one, but aside from those games I really can't remember the last time I watched and enjoyed 90 minutes of EPL/CL football.

5. Last New Year I was involved in something of a confrontation with Manchester United and England striker Danny Welbeck. People say it a lot but it really was just one big misunderstanding - I've not got a violent bone in my body, have never been in a fight in my life and I actually just thought the bloke was someone who looked like Danny Welbeck. My phone still goes daft when he scores, which mercifully isn't often.

[Albino Rover]

This thread turned 6 years old a few days ago. Always worth a bump.

[YassinMoutaouakil]

This thread turned 6 years old a few days ago. Always worth a bump.

I read through it a few months ago, definitely have to agree with you.

[Mr. Brightside]

Four out of my five are still true. But to be fair, it was a shit list.

[Gareth_Glasgow]

2. I hate black people singing (dont know why , im not racist or nothin there just shit)

Oh dear.

[Mr. Brightside]

Oh dear.

Wtf is that shit?!

[Pars fan]

Tut tut tut.

[Honest_Man#1]

2. I hate black people singing (dont know why , im not racist or nothin there just shit)

3. I always get in fights with people even though I dont look for them im 16 now and have had about 17 proper fights , first one being 8 years old when i was playing sevens , this gadgie from Dee Club squared up to me so I gave him a booting and gave his dad the finger. http://www.pieandbovril.com/forum/public/style_emoticons/#EMO_DIR#/sad.gif

5. Dont want to be modest or anything but im actually really smart.http://www.pieandbovril.com/forum/public/style_emoticons/#EMO_DIR#/laugh.gif

Edit : 4th point was harsh , but you know what there like when there 13.

2. Racist.

4. Racist Ned.

5. (Doesn't understand the meaning of modest in the same sentence explaining how smart he is). Thick, racist ned.

[Silvio]

What a thread this is. The fact it keeps getting bumped makes it my greatest ever achievement.

[Guest The Phoenix]

What a thread this is. The fact it keeps getting bumped makes it my greatest ever achievement.

^^^ one of life's greatest under achievers.

[Silvio]

^^^ one of life's greatest under achievers.

I'm also in the final of the Pie & Bovril NFL fantasy football league.

#winningatlife

[Guest The Phoenix]

I'm also in the final of the Pie & Bovril NFL fantasy football league.

#winningatlife

Congratulations.

#youdaman