5 True Statements About Yourself...

[Vanquinho.]

I never tire of reading through this thread every time it's bumped after a few months of neglect.

[forever_blue]

1- I have an embarrassing facial twitch i do at times which my wife says is more prominent when im lying....!!!

2 - Due to the demands of having a large family and TRYING to keep a small business afloat i smoke and drink too much... my eating habits are erratic as well.... often a bowl of cereal is dinner

3- not fashionable but im a huge fan of 80's bands like Duran Duran... Simple Minds..Depeche mode etc... that is the era i grew up in mind you..

4 - Im a terrible insomniac ... some nights i get as little as two hours sleep..

5 - A few years back when i was sufferring from depression.. had temporarily split from my mrs and was drinking too much i got into a fight in the pub and was lifted... in court i was told to attend AA meetings. I went to one.. and when the people did the 'Im an alcoholic' bit.. one woman told of how she turned up drunk at a family do she hadnt been invited to. She ended up, in her words 'giving ma nephew oral in a gents cubical.. i knew then that i had a problem' i fucking pished myself laughing and was asked to leave... ... didnt go back

magees utter bullshite stories , you kinda miss them after a while

[Daviehaybhoy]

magees utter bull***** stories , you kinda miss them after a while

I read your posts and I see you. No need for any statements. I pray you remain veiled and get the place. Health care funding is a lot better now

Edited February 20, 2013 by Daviehaybhoy

[wunfellaff]

I read your posts and I see you. No need for any statements. I pray you remain veiled and get the place

You think Forever_blue is a female Muslim?

[JamboMikey]

Hello again, magee.

[KeeperDee]

1 - I genuinely believe I could have been the best footballer ever.

2 - I'm a clingy b*****d.

3 - I do Psychology at Uni

4 - I am left footed when it comes to shooting/passing, yet while doing tricks it is always the right foot. I brush my teeth with my left hand and use a spoon for my soup with my left hand, although I'm right handed when it comes to writing.

5 - I absolutely love gin at the moment. Especially mixed with Pear and Elderflower flavoured water from Tescos.

[superwellfan]

1. I am right handed but eat crisps with my left hand. I don't know why this would be of interest to anyone but I find it bizarre because I seem to be the only right handed person that does this.

2. One of my best mates is an Airdrie fan. He used to frequent these forums.

3. I study Social Sciences at uni but have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life. Uni consists of cheap beer in some fine Glasgow establishments then heading to another fine Glasgow establishment, Subclub, for some *cough cough* why more cheap beer of course.

4. James McFadden is my only true footballing hero and I'm delighted he's back with us. Even if he does nothing in this 2nd spell, he's given me more memories, for club and country, that will stay with me forever more than any other player. Also, without his £1.25 million transfer fee Motherwell could very well have died 10 years ago. Can't even imagine my life without Motherwell.

5. I have never been on an aeroplane or outside Britain for that matter. Sometimes feel like I'm living my own version of The Truman Show.

[jamamafegan]

This is a good thread, been a nice read.

1) I believe I am a very good singer. I'm probably not but I'm going to stick with my guns and say that I am. I believe this so much that I even think that getting singing lessons would make me a fantastic singer. I also love karaoke and I applaud anyone who gets involved because when you realise that everyone is shit at singing in the place, you just go up there and have a laugh with not a care in the world.

2) I am absolutely terrible when it comes to dating and chatting to woman. I hate dating and I hate texting lassies. Texting is tedious and not fun, I always think far to much into things which ends up stressing me out and me not replying to lassies for ages - which is probably my downfall. Stick me in a club half-jaked any day and I'll be getting stuck in about them no bother. I'm able to have a laugh with my mates no bother too, but when it comes to woman I seem to lose my banter. I've no idea why this is. Maybe not enough girls get my banter. I'm definitely not one for changing the way I am either just to look like someone I'm not to perhaps come across as more impressive, and have been told by some that I should. They probably think I am stubborn but get it right up them. "You gotta be yourself, you can't be no one else."

3) My Saints scarf is unwashed from the day we last won the 1st Division. 2nd May, 2009 to be precise. I believe washing it will give us bad luck. The white's are dull in colour with pie, bovril and booze stains - amongst other things. It doesn't even smell bad to be honest. I like to think it smells of atmospheres from countless games throughout the years. I plan on washing it when something bad does happen like losing a cup final or relegation.

4) I have never cried over a football match, but I have twice been on the very verge of tears after a game - once after those Gretna fucks pipped us to the 1st Division title with the last kick of the game. The second time was only last season when Everton were beaten in the FA Cup semi against Liverpool.

5) When I was a wee lad (10/12ish) I pished my pants in the street after deciding to go to the ice cream van rather than the toilet. I never heard the end of it for years around my neighbourhood.

[CLANCY2KTID]

1- I proved in december I can't cross a road when I got knocked down by a hackney cab and now have some shitty disabilities to live with forever.

2- in the past calender year I've got so pished that twice I've managed to shart on my way home from a night.

3- I'm bone idle at work unless its my own job, ie all the profits are mine, I wouldn't employ me ever.

4- I'm the kind of wind-up merchant that should probably have had a lot more kickings in my life than I have had.

5- I'm soft as shite and far too senstive, my wee budgies on his way out and the money I've spent on vet bills could've payed for a zoo. I hate to think what I'll be like when its my dog

[Dr Koop]

1. The real Dr Koop has just died and I'm contemplating retiring the name.

2. I clocked that Horse was a burd as early as 1986.

3. I failed an audition for Black Uhuru.

4. I'd much rather be in Chicago than Glasgow.

5. I had a total body washout when I was born.

[mizfit]

1) when I worked in McDonalds I stole £50 out of someone's till and cost them a promotion. The only reason I done this was because he had stolen money out of mine to cover a loss in his previously<br />2) when at school I kicked a football in chemistry and hit the back of the teachers head<br />3) I got my skateboard confiscated in p5 for attempting to skateboard around the school halls and never got it back until I left primary school<br />4) I would rather spend my working day sitting about doing f**k all, which I manage to do on an almost regular basis. <br />5) I prefer the company of dogs to other humans, even going to the stage of ignoring my family to take their dogs for walks. <br />6) the first time I got drunk I got a bottle of vodka confiscated by the police, then managed to get some white cider straight away, got caught again and taken home. <br />7) I was cheated on bg an ex & it has left me extremely untrusting of every girl I've either been In a relationship or a fling with. <br /> I had a small addiction to mcat when it first came out. <br />9) I got banned from city for life because I accused the bouncers of being rapists <br />10) I have a severe dislike of gypsies after a run in when I was 10

[Dindeleux]

^^^top lad.

[fafc1885]

1 - I used to weigh just over 70kg until the relationship I was in ended in October 2011, I've put on over 50% of that since then and can't get motivated to do anything about losing it.<br />2 - I suffer from really bad social anxiety and have to take antidepressants aswell.<br />3 - I constantly feel the need to ask people their opinion on something before or after I do it, otherwise I feel like I've made a mess of the thing.<br />4 - If there's something I've liked or found funny, even if its something little and pointless, I'll go on and on and on about it whenever I can, to the point it bores people and I seem obsessed.<br />5 - I have a fear of dogs, if it's one I don't know, I'm really scared, if its one I know, I'm okay with it, but still wary.

[Old Diamond]

1) I am a trainspotter. Yip, a genuine Anorak wearing number collector with a loft full of models. my favorite away ground is Starks Park, if Airdrie are playing their usual shite I can always turn round and watch the trains go by.

2) That is enough

[CountyFan]

1. I am terrified of crabs, to the extent that I won't go in the sea and if I'm on a beach my heads on a swivel looking for the little fuckers. I used to be a waiter and the chefs found out about this fear and chased me round the kitchen with two giant crabs. I locked myself in reception and cried for twenty minutes.

2. I have a tattoo of a stag on my chest that is usually greeted with either awe or total derision. My dad was so pissed off at me for getting it that i refused to show him it. He still hasnt seen it in the four years I've had it. I love it.

3. When I was four I stabbed myself in the eye with a knife. No lasting damage thankfully.

4. My absolute favourite things- Ross county, American football, skiing, Bruce Springsteen and Harry potter (books, not movies, obviously).

5. As evidenced by points 1-4 above, I'm pretty much a twat.

[Rabbi Williams]

1. I have a degree from Edinburgh uni but work in a call centre and take abuse off people for a living.

2. My last girlfriend dumped me because I killed her parents' goldfish attempting a magic trick whilst drunk.

3. I drive a yellow Fiat Punto and look not unlike Simon from The Inbetweeners (except I wear glasses and don't gel my hair like a twat), and I receive a lot of comments of varying agressiveness when getting in/out it.

4. I once got mugged by two wee neds in Motherwell. I was 21, they were probably about 13 or 14, one of them had a knife. I kicked the one with the knife in the shin and ran away but they chased me and were just catching up with me as I got to a brightly lit (but empty) street. I shouted "HELP!!!" and they ran away into the back streets but noone came. I ran another hundred yards up the street, phoned a taxi and cowered in a doorway until it came. I now never go out alone in towns if it isn't busy.

5. I met Ewan McGregor a few years ago and told him he was a great Scottish hero, and he gave me £20. Top guy!

[Daviehaybhoy]

1. I've been to Celtic Park

2. I am an IT Consultant.

3. I drive a nice car.

4. I enjoy a wide and varied love of literature.

5. I am a practicing Catholic with a love of theology and my fellow man and woman

[Addie]

1. I have a degree in Human Resource Management, and found myself managing a dental practice.

2. I served in the Royal Navy for 12 years. Sailed around the world and take enormous pride in my knowledge of local bars and McDonald's across this wonderful planet.

3. I have numerous tattoos - all of which are crap. One of which is my wife's name on my chest, but had it done in Arabic writing just in case she binned me. Got a strange look from an Arabic looking gentleman in the swimming pool the other week however. I put it down to the fact I was semi naked and he fancied me, but there is doubt over the tattoo in all honesty.

4. I secretly fancy Tanya Branning from Eastenders.

5. I do all the cooking at home. My mam bought me a slow cooked for Xmas and have to admit - its brilliant.

[Adam]

Why secretly fancy Tanya? She's fit as f**k.

1. I was once accused of a pretty serious crime, one that I was completely innocent of. Took 11 months to come to court, only for me to show up on the pleading diet to be told that it had been thrown out. It was easily the worst 11 months of my life, during which I seriously considered killing myself.

2. I was married with two kids by the time I was 22. I love my life, but do sometimes feel a bit jealous when my mates decide to go on the piss at little or no notice. For me, I need to get babysitters, or butter up my wife in order to get out for the day.

3. My uncle played for Arsenal in the early 1960's. He was sold after getting smashed on a pre-season tour of Finland and fighting with the manager at the time. He went on to play for Hull, and still works for the club occasionally doing match day tours.

4. I nearly drowned my dad when I was 11 on holiday in Spain. We were out on a pedal boat with a slide on the back. I pushed him down it, not aware that he wasn't a very strong swimmer. He ended up being dragged from the water and was given CPR by a German nurse who was on holiday. He spent the majority of the holiday in hospital. Still a sore point for him.

5. I travelled and worked abroad for a few months between 2006 and 2007.

[Andy_K_97]

1. My main interests in life are music, football and modern history. If it wasn't for the first two I have no idea what I'd be interested in.

2. I play guitar a lot. In the first few days of 2012 I bought a Fender Villager 12-string, and I absolutely love it. Last summer there were days where all I did was go out into the garden, play that guitar, write some songs and in the evening, drink lager and the occasional glass of red wine. It costs a fair bit to get a complete set of new strings every few months or so for it though.

3. I would love to go travelling around France, Germany & Italy, but as I don't have a permanent job at the minute I just don't have the money to do that. In particular I'd love to go back to Milan and Como, go to a Kaiserslautern game in Germany and go back to Marseille for a few days.

4. Last year I was in a band called The Sidelines with my friend, and we went out and played a couple of gigs in Marseille. They were pretty well-received and if we were still together I'd be desperate to do it all again.

5. Sunday the 18th of March 2012 was the single most brilliant day of my entire existence. Before that day I'd had days that were pretty good in my life, but never as good as that one. If I could relive one day exactly the same, second-by-second, I'd choose that day over any other.