Smurph Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 1) I really want to learn how to drive. It would be very convenient for me - but I simply can't be bothered taking driving lessons. I would love to drive a scooter too, preferably a Vespa, but the laziness rule applied to that too. 2) I want to be a complete w****r, dress like a c**t, be a complete dick to girls - but I'm far too nice. 3) I've never had a girlfriend before. I've had the opportunity to have one but I've always declined and a few weeks later regret my decision. I really don't know why this is. I have a severe lack in confidence in everything that I do. 4) I complain far too much and never about things that actually matter. 5) I leave everything to the last minute. Absolutely everything. If I need to catch a train I'll always leave the house so I'm there for one minute before it arrives, even if I'm not doing anything beforehand. If I have an essay to hand in it will always be done on the night before (or the bus in the morning). 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin_Nevis Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 I was the "star" of a local authority advert in 2009 aimed to bring more golf tourists to Angus. It aired a few times in July/August that year, and involved me being filmed hitting shots at Kirrie, Montrose, Letham Grange and Carnoustie. The 20 second clip invoved a day and a half of fucking about, hitting shots, and driving abour Angus. It was as boring as f**k to be honest, with the high point being free bacon rolls at Montrose, and a day and a half of being paid to do very little. My old man went mental at Archie McPherson once. We were playing Rangers at Dens in 1988, and McPherson was running late, to the extent that he had to run the gauntlet of a packed South Enclosure just before kick off and climb up to the gantry. He was in such a rush that he knocked my dad's bovril out of his hand making his way through the benches. My Dad prompty stood up and unleashed a torrent of abuse at him, finishing with "....obnoxious c**t". I've heard my dad swear about 10 times in my entire life, and half of those were in one sentence at Archie fucking McPherson. I drove the 14th green at Loch Lomond in 2000. It was my only ever (most likely) game of golf there, and even though i hadn't played in months, and had played the preceding 13 holes in comically bad fashion, there was no fucking way i was papping a 4 iron up the bail-out fairway. So i teed up a driver off the pro tees and hit it as well as i humanely could, and drove the green. I ended up having to hole a 6 footer for a fucking par. In 2009 I had a rotten year which included a painful split for my ex, and losing a couple of friends, I went out on the pish every weekend bar two, and pulled 23 times. While this is a decent return for an average thirtysomething, it wasn't as good as it sounds. I made myself pretty ill at it's worst (Jan-March of that year) and lost two and a half stone. It was a pretty awful year. I like a drink, but even i admit that was fucking ridiculous. Of the 23 pulls, 17 were horrendous. The 2am bin-rake is a dangerous game. I have had three holes in one playing golf, all at the same hole, all within the same year, and all with the same club: 2nd at Kirrie, Swilken Pitching Wedge, in 1990. Not had one since. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HEY_SIDNEY Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 1. I sleep more hours than i am awake. 2. I have a gambling addiction. 3. I hate every other football team other than Chelsea. 4. I love house music 5. I enjoy simple things in life. Not pretentious at all. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
11thHour Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 1 - I used to be a very good goalkeeper but ditched it when I was 14, I am now a very competent centre midfielder. 2 - I buy myself a crazy amount of clothes and footwear. Footwear especially, I currently have 22 pairs of various footwear (football boots, trainers, shoes etc) 3 - I keep a box of all my gig tickets and various souveniers from everything that I go to/do. 4 - Ever since I got Salmonella I haven't been able to handle my drink anywhere near as much as I used to. 5 - I don't know how to Ice Skate. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karpaty Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 I'll do 5 more.. 6. I can't swim nor ride a bike 7. After waking up from dreams involving women it can take me hours to realise that it was a dream 8. Despite having no real self confidence or life experience, I am desperate to move out of Scotland by myself ASAP 9. I'd give my left ball to shag a stunning Irish "Scene Girl" with big tits 10. I left school at 15 to get out of the education system, I then went on to do two and a half years at college gaining a HND, at 18 and a half I was probably the youngest person to gain such a qualification 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ebanda's Handyman Services Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 4. I'm not sure why I said that I'm not very good at maths. I wasn't good at Higher Maths, but I can handle numbers and mental calculation more than adequately. Possible whoosh here but didn't you state that you weren't good at maths because you only put four statements down when it was meant to be five?... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raith Against The Machine Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Possible whoosh here but didn't you state that you weren't good at maths because you only put four statements down when it was meant to be five?... I think I whooshed myself. That might be a first. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaltyTON Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 I can handle numbers and mental calculation more than adequately. That would be arithmetic... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock Legend SMFC Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 1. I was in Dunblane Primary on the 9th March 1996. 4 days before the massacre. 2. I'm probably one of the richest guys on P&B, but i hate my job (sales executive at Nike) with a passion. 3. I don't get to many Saints games anymore due to various circumstances. The last time I witnessed a Saints home win was pumping Celtic 4-0. 4. I'd rather take my dog out when it's cold, dark & wet rather than sunny. No idea why though. 5. I've spoken personally to Craig Bellamy a number of times. Actually a very pleasent guy away from football. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HEY_SIDNEY Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 1 - I used to be a very good goalkeeper but ditched it when I was 14, I am now a very competent centre midfielder. 2 - I buy myself a crazy amount of clothes and footwear. Footwear especially, I currently have 22 pairs of various footwear (football boots, trainers, shoes etc) 3 - I keep a box of all my gig tickets and various souveniers from everything that I go to/do. 4 - Ever since I got Salmonella I haven't been able to handle my drink anywhere near as much as I used to. 5 - I don't know how to Ice Skate. Across the board?? tbh thats not 'crazy' amounts. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
11thHour Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Across the board?? tbh thats not 'crazy' amounts. Compared to all of my mates it seems to be. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest Saints Fan Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Another 5 from me... 1. Despite being a failure in high school I am in my third year at university. 2. I am on a final-warning at my work for something I didn't do. 3. I have a phobia of being sick. 4. I don't drink alcohol and haven't been drunk since I was 18. 5. I despise obese people. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HEY_SIDNEY Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Compared to all of my mates it seems to be. A suppose. sorry. just comparin to my addiction. . 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
11thHour Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 A suppose. sorry. just comparin to my addiction. . Ach ye can't say that and no tell us how many pairs ye've got! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Throwie 1877 Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 1) I'm currently studying Architecture at Strathclyde, and currently going through a love/hate feeling for it. Some mornings I can't wait to get in the studio, and other days I wonder why I picked the course. 2) I'm obsessed with football casuals and their subculture. 3) I badly damaged my achilles tendon and ankle ligaments whilst playing for my school on astro turf, and ever since I returned from the injury, I never fully gave 100% in a match, just incase I injured myself and went through the same injury and pain. 4) I'm shit with money. I can't hold onto it for too long, and end up spending it all on fast food and drink. 5) I'm scared about failing my course/ not being up to scratch. I love architecture, but I don't know if i'm good enough to be doing it as a career. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vanquinho. Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 I think this is me up to about 4 '5s' in this thread. I maybe have an unhealthy obsession with it. 1. I really fancy learning a 'radge' foreign language, probably Japanese. 2. I love the idea of Cockney rhyming slang. I don't know what the vast majority of it means but if it was socially acceptable to use it in Scotland then I would figure it all out and use it constantly. 3. Sex is much lower on my priority list now. Up to the age of 23 I'd make moderate sacrifices (ie travelling time and distance) to get a ride depending on the quality of the bird in question , but a year on I truly don't give that much of a f**k about it anymore. I still have a high sex drive but if I have to make any effort (ie any more than 10 minutes of travelling) then I'd probably no even bother. This sudden apathy towards it is freaking me out a bit and is the reason I've no been on the bones since about March. 4. In total, I have broken 4 bones, my forearm and 3 fingers. 5. Being interrupted by somebody while I'm listening to my ipod annoys me immensely. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HEY_SIDNEY Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Ach ye can't say that and no tell us how many pairs ye've got! 27 pairs of converse 14 pairs of 'others' 15 pairs of football boots - 12 Nike, 2 Adidas, 1 Joma 4 pair of actual shoes haha. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
11thHour Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 27 pairs of converse 14 pairs of 'others' 15 pairs of football boots - 12 Nike, 2 Adidas, 1 Joma 4 pair of actual shoes haha. Gatdamn that's a lot of shoes I would be challenging you though if I hadn't disciplined myself a long time ago. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HEY_SIDNEY Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Gatdamn that's a lot of shoes I would be challenging you though if I hadn't disciplined myself a long time ago. Teach me how to discipline . Horrible addiction for a guy 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glen Sannox Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Another 5 from me... 1. Despite being a failure in high school I am in my third year at university. 2. I am on a final-warning at my work for something I didn't do. 3. I have a phobia of being sick. 4. I don't drink alcohol and haven't been drunk since I was 18. 5. I despise obese people. I have that aswell, it's horrendous, absolutely terrified of being sick, even hearing of someone being sick freaks me out. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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