5 True Statements About Yourself...

[Gullane No 4]

I have played golf with Ronnie Simpson, Laurie Riley, Gordon Smith and two Ryder Cup players.

I have only had 16 birthdays

Chatted to Sean Connery and Peter Osgood without realising who they were. [until I was told]

Won a national 5 a sides tournament playing alongside an ex England fitba captain.

Best game watched was Hibs v Leeds 1968. [Not a Hibee fan BTW]

[YassinMoutaouakil]

^^^

Hibs fan.

[Lyle Lanley]

1) Crayon Eating Simpleton

2) I slaver a lot of shite

3) I'm a miserable b*****d

4) I'm a tight arse

5) I wet my bed every night

[Albino Rover]

1) Crayon Eating Simpleton

2) I slaver a lot of shite

5) I wet my bed every night

You must have messy sheets.

[Gareth_Glasgow]

1) Crayon Eating Simpleton

2) I slaver a lot of shite

3) I'm a miserable b*****d

4) I'm a tight arse

5) I wet my bed every night

#bantz

[Albino Rover]

This thread turned 6 years old a few days ago. Always worth a bump.

[The Minertaur]

1. In my 2nd year at Aberdeen uni doing geography and management. Hating it right now Got 2 exams coming up on Wednesday, one at 9am and one at 7pm

2. I did stewarding at Glastonbury this year despite being a total wuss with no muscle - got started on quite a few times but also had a great time. The highlight was seeing Amy Winehouse drive past with her head out of the window having a smoke

3. I recently finished working at Toys R Us over the Xmas period. Twas a good laugh but some of the customers who came in drove me mad. Have also been working at Pittodrie on matchdays in the Legends Lounge for nearly a year and a half now Sunday was a good day

4. I support Man Utd as well and have since I was a wee kid - only been to one game though and what a game it was! 7-1 v Roma

5. I am absolutely useless with women

Christ 6 years later and it's time for a wee update -

1 - graduated with a 2:1 joint masters in Geography & Management.

2 - haven't been to a festival since

3 - was effectively 'sacked' by Toys R Us for missing a meeting regarding my contract while I was on a Uni fieldtrip in Skye. Came back to a host of missed calls, voicemails and a letter saying that my contract was terminated. Lack of signal in Skye cost me my job - thankfully I hated it! Pittodrie I quit after I got a part time job at Argos

4 - still got a soft spot for Man Utd but its basically just a way to wind my Dad up now who despises the club.

5 - have now bought a house with my girlfriend. Slight improvement on 6 years ago being a desperate single virgin.

"What a story Mark" basically describes the lack 6 years of my life going by this

[Al B]

Reading back through this thread and thought i'd do a wee update just for comparison purposes!

1 - I am genuinely good enough to have played football for a living, and equally as genuinely have never had the slightest interest in doing so.

Hmmm...now kinda torn on this. Was by no means good enough to get to any kind of high level or anything like that...could merely have earned a living, which never interested me as it seemed a bit pointless to then be mid-30's and having nothing to show for it. Now almost 38 though, and do have that "what if..." thing in the back of my mind that just thinks it might have been a right laugh if nothing else.

2 - I have never lived in Motherwell, or Lanarkshire, nor anywhere near it.

Yup, still true! Not even there for the football as much as I was when I wrote this.

3 - One of my very best and closest friends is a fairly big international pornstar/glamour model.

Acquaintances now really, just keeping in touch on FB. She's recently married, settled down and has a house that I would absolutely kill for.

4 - I've sold just under 4500 CD's in the last 9 months and I still can't get a record deal, so after being full time for the last 18 months, im going back to a proper job, starting next Monday in a call centre...and it's cutting me up like you wouldnt believe. Although im pretending to everyone that im fine with it, and that it was part of my plan anyway.

So this is an interesting one. Haven't done anything at all musically since this was written, but that call centre job lasted a grand total of 5 weeks before I left. On that first Monday I met a girl who was also starting, and we ended up together for 4 and a half years which brought the highest highs and lowest lows of my life so far, living together, holidays, and also a descent into alcoholism (not mine) that would ultimately destroy everything and almost end us both. Thankfully it didn't and I am now extremely happy in an amazing relationship of almost 2 years, and I am now an engineer (did not see that one coming!).

5 - I havent been to sleep yet. I tend to do this a couple of times a week, and i've absolutely no idea why. I really hate the bit between going to bed and falling asleep, which sounds ridiculous but it's true.

Couldn't cope with this anymore! My natural pattern still pushes more towards being a night owl, but these days I literally can't function the next day if I haven't had enough sleep. My actual sleeping pattern couldn't be more normal now.

Edited October 27, 2015 by Al B

[Jan Vojáček]

1. I'm teetotal and don't plan on changing that anytime soon.

2. I'm a huge motorsport anorak, in particular British Touring Cars and even more particularly the 'Supertouring' era for those in the know.

3. When I started Uni in September it was the first time I'd ever been on a train without friends or family with me.

4. I've only ever been on a public service bus once, I didn't know where I was going or how to ask for a ticket so a mate did it for me like he was my carer. It was 2nd year.

5. I'd absolutely love to drive cars competitively one day, but my budget is unfortunately a bit non-existent at the moment.

[smpar]

1) I'm not long into my second year at Uni in Aberdeen, studying to be a teacher. It can be a bit boring at times, but I've never got that urge to drop out (as the majority of students seem to get on a regular basis).

2) I'm still vegetarian. Because why the f**k not.

3) I fucking hate students. Many of them are absolute worstcunts. I'd rather drink in a Union-Jack-draped boozer with 100 unionists than 5 Philosophy students.

4) I'm an incredibly sore loser. Recently, my girlfriend, flatmate and I have played a few games of Buzz (a quizz game for the PS3) in the evening. Just about every night, I've been told to stop taking it so seriously because I get so frustrated.

5) I'm still a complete knob. I don't think that's ever going to change, no matter how many times this thread gets bumped.

[Meathead]

Bump. This used to be a good thread so I thought I'd try to resurrect it.

Here's my five

• I like the rain. Not torrential rain or hailstones but light rain. It's the best weather to play football in and cools you down if you've been doing a lot of running.
• I'm in sixth year at school. Not a massive statement to make but it shapes some of the other things in the list.
• I don't use social networking. To people my age this is alien. I'm the only person in my year who does not use Facebook and/or Twitter and this apparently makes me some sort of freak.
• I've never drank alcohol in my life. I don't plan on staying like this forever but I'm happy for now. Does make for some shite nights at parties on the rare occasions I actually bother going to one though.
• P&B has influenced my character a fair bit. I've been reading the forums for the best part of 2 years now and I find that P&B has altered the way I now approach arguments with phrases like "verge of tears", "seething" and "scrambling for relevance" now part of my argumentative repertoire.

What a horrific bump of a great thread this was. Few things in life are more unpleasant than stumbling across the musings of your mid-teens self. I'll update it in any case however.

1. I think I only said this because I'd played football in the rain on the day I wrote this and enjoyed myself. Rain is shite.
2. Now in 3rd year of a statistics degree. Used to be relatively happy with it but these days I'm just counting down until it's over.
3. lol @ me. I got Facebook not too long after I started uni and it's kept me in touch with a lot of friends I probably would've lost contact with otherwise, as well as being handy for group work and suchlike. I have Twitter as well now though I rarely tweet anything and have toyed with getting rid of it.
4. What a bitter prude I was. I do drink now, though not particularly often or heavily.
5. I may be misremembering, but I'm not convinced I ever really did this and I'm not sure why I would've claimed otherwise. Perhaps I thought it would make me look cool to strangers on the internet. Imagine saying 'verge of tears' or 'scrambling for relevance' to someone in an argument in real life. Dearie me. I think reading P&B did shape my worldview a fair bit as a young and impressionable teenager though, and I can trace a lot of views I hold now back to my time as a lurking schoolkid on here.

[pandarilla]

1. I'm under 10 stone but have a body fat rating of 38% (which apparently is high. Basically my body is fucked due to chronic illness. I think it's pretty likely I'll die before getting anywhere near retirement (34 just now)).

2. I'm a teacher but gradually realising I should be a life coach. I fucking rock at the perspective of life.

3. I like cricket and quite like the England team doing well.

4. I've been to new york ten times due to having a sister live there. Fucking brilliant growing up but now think I'm too worried about flying to go again anytime soon.

5. We've been together for 13 years but I actually enjoy spending time with my wife (I know I know but can't understand folk that get married and then moan constantly). The kids are dicks tho.

[Deeboy]

The kids are dicks tho.

[Raidernation]

5. We've been together for 13 years but I actually enjoy spending time with my wife

I hate to say it but this had me in tears. I wish,,,,I wish

[Stephen Malkmus]

1. I recently moved to London after graduating from Aberdeen Uni with a 2:1 in Geography / Town Planning. I expected to be hunting for a job for ages but ended up getting a very good one after attending only one interview. (I travelled to Swindon the previous week for another interview - I ended up not going as I had a few beers while watching ICT's away leg in the Europa League and slept in. Decided not to tell my parents about that...)

2. Played for ICT up to Under 15 level until I jacked it in because I didn't like playing in goals. Ironically I am now a keeper for a Sunday League team.

3. I had surgery to pin back prominent ears when I was younger which was one of the best things I've ever done.

4. Got reasonably good at playing guitar while I was at uni but I can only play sitting down. Going to take some lessons as I've recorded some things at home that I'd love to play live with a proper band.

5. Went on a date yesterday with an trainee architect that went very well but she's smarter than me which I found a bit weird.

If I'd done this about five years ago it would have been an utterly pathetic read but my life's going pretty well now. Hopefully when this thread is dredged up from the depths in future everything hasn't gone to shit.

[Highland Capital]

1. I have no intention of getting married and even less for having children.

2. I love traveling and especially traveling alone.  I try and do three new countries every year - last year I went to Canada, Norway and the Faroe Islands for the first time.  The latter was somewhere I'd always wanted to go and I went for a weekend last June.  It was the Faroes Islands I'd wanted it to be.  This time next month I'll be in Greenland.

3. My younger brother is the guitarist in a fairly well known Scottish band.  Despite this I've never seen them live and have barely heard any of their music.

4.  I've never been drunk, taken drugs or smoked.  I haven't had a proper alcoholic drink since 2009 and am pretty strictly straight edge.

5. I once went to 184 Caley Thistle games straight.  This included two cup finals, an away game in Stranraer where I went via Ireland and the Astra Giurgiu away game in Romania.  The run ended when a postponed match against Brechin was re-scheduled to the Tuesday I was in Berlin.

[die hard doonhamer]

Jesus, that's one hell of a bump!

[Shotgun]

9 minutes ago, die hard doonhamer said:

Jesus, that's one hell of a bump!

True Statements About This Thread thread for this pish.

[die hard doonhamer]

On 24/01/2009 at 13:59, die hard doonhamer said:

5 more:

1: I was only at Primary School for 6 years, this was due to my age when I moved to England, and i was put forward a year. When I moved back up to Scotland I was kept in the same year, so missed a year.

2: I hate my school life, mainly due to most of the people there, and I can't wait for September and the start of University.

3: I see myself as a fairly well tempered and well mannered person, but when I step inside a football ground it all seems to go out the window.

4: I'm 16, have never smoked and never taken any illegal substances, and I never intend to.

5: I hate beer, and am usually wrecked after just 6 bacardi breezers

 

On 21/12/2008 at 20:11, die hard doonhamer said:

1: I have never lived in Dumfries, and don't ever intend to.

2: I'm an arrogant, smug, lazy bast*rd

3: I would much rather play cricket than football

4: I am totally inept and an eternal pessimist when it comes to woman

5: My physical appearence is often compares to Alan Carr, this may or may not cause number 4

Looking back at me from a decade ago (the fact I've been on here more than a decade is scary!) is a laugh.

Two years and a day after the later of my two posts above, my son was born. Third child is due in September. I'm still quite smug, don't look so Alan Carr like anymore, and still haven't touched illegal drugs (though have touched cigarettes). Still cricket over football too.

Edited May 16, 2019 by die hard doonhamer

[Busta Nut]

2 hours ago, Highland Capital said:

 

3. My younger brother is the guitarist in a fairly well known Scottish band.  Despite this I've never seen them live and have barely heard any of their music.

Band name?