Swampy Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 For background, I am currently in an apartment complex in suburban Dallas, Texas. I have watched with growing horror as a pair of Jehovah's Witnesses have approached two doors in an adjacent building, rang the bell, and walked away (the occupants presumably being out.) I am concerned that they may soon try our door. I am the only one home. How can I bam them up? Suggestions are welcome within the next five minutes as by my count, depending on the route they take, there are four more doors before this one (assuming they come to this building at all.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raith Against The Machine Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 Run upstairs and tip an aquarium onto them. I'm sure I read that story on here, I can't remember who it was, but it was fucking hilarious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swampy Posted July 11, 2008 Author Share Posted July 11, 2008 Run upstairs and tip an aquarium onto them.I'm sure I read that story on here, I can't remember who it was, but it was fucking hilarious. There is no upstairs: there is a small aquarium in here, though. However I'd be in so much trouble if I did that, which is a shame as the idea really appeals. The thing is they'd probably be grateful. It's well into the 90s outside. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest FCB Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 Kid on you're deaf and do some fake sign language when they show up at the door. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaltyTON Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 Bring the conversation around to your religion (pick one at random, try Mormon or something) and try and convert them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swampy Posted July 11, 2008 Author Share Posted July 11, 2008 I'm starting to think they might not be coming. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraser_smfc Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 Knock Knock Who's there? Jehova. Jehova who? Jehova's Witnesses. lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Musketeer Gripweed Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 Go all Spud on them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pollymac Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 Open the door to them and start talking about Thetans and all other manner of crazy scientology pash. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raith Against The Machine Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 Stone them when they say the word "Jehovah". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ziggy Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 For background, I am currently in an apartment complex in suburban Dallas, Texas.I have watched with growing horror as a pair of Jehovah's Witnesses have approached two doors in an adjacent building, rang the bell, and walked away (the occupants presumably being out.) I am concerned that they may soon try our door. I am the only one home. How can I bam them up? Suggestions are welcome within the next five minutes as by my count, depending on the route they take, there are four more doors before this one (assuming they come to this building at all.) Dinosaurs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zanetti Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 If they end up coming to your door, spit every time they say 'Jehovah' or 'Jesus'. That'd really piss them off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swampy Posted July 11, 2008 Author Share Posted July 11, 2008 I don't think they're coming. Ah well. I thank everyone for their suggestions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mackie The Staggie Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 Just shout "praise be Allah" as you open the door.......that'll get them moving or invite them in, but have some porn playing on the tv, that should get them moving. Of cource you could just not open the door Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spiders For Life Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 Of cource you could just not open the door But that would ruin all the fun!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seamus Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 Invite them in and before shutting the door say that you would like to re-enact a scene from 9 and a half weeks with the two of them the one in the cinema perhaps. If they say no shout and stare that its "Ma Hoose Ma Rules" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Raithsaltire Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 Answer the door naked and masturbate as they give you their shit speech. When they hand you a leaflet as they always do, jizz out and make sure they see you mop it up with their leaflet. Hand it back to them and scream 'rape'. I'm sure you'll not be pestered by them again........ By the way, I'm only kidding. Don't do it, or you might end up as some convict's bitch! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Cuddy Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 There's always one person that has to take it too far. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StewartyMac Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 Do what Calum Gilhooley on Absolutely did. Invite them in and talk endlessly about a subject that you're right into, but you know will bore them to tears. They'll soon slink away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Musketeer Gripweed Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 Answer the door naked and masturbate as they give you their shit speech. When they hand you a leaflet as they always do, jizz out and make sure they see you mop it up with their leaflet. Hand it back to them and scream 'rape'. I'm sure you'll not be pestered by them again........ By the way, I'm only kidding. Don't do it, or you might end up as some convict's bitch! Swampy has disappeared. Your second paragraph may be too late! I hope you can sleep at night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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