Pettigrew Posted October 31, 2007 Share Posted October 31, 2007 2 words - Wee Bully. What on earth could be worse? Had to put up with that gimp for almost 15 years through Uni and then 2 different jobs. Not sure there's more that requires to be added. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wee Bully Posted October 31, 2007 Share Posted October 31, 2007 "Pettigrew" from on here. Met him in the first week of Uni in 1992, and he has dogged my footsteps ever since, through 5 years at Uni, and 2 different employers. And he is a bald wascock. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest johnjag Posted October 31, 2007 Share Posted October 31, 2007 I once worked in a factory where, bored one day, we tried to remember all the characters in the phonetic alaphabet. We got stuck at the letter "Q" and one boy, who wasn't known for his vast intellect, suggested the answer might be cucumber. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karpaty Posted October 31, 2007 Share Posted October 31, 2007 Pal: "What's the capital of France?" Some bint: "Ehhh...Germany?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RiG Posted November 8, 2007 Share Posted November 8, 2007 "Ken this bypass they're wanting to build aye? I just think they should build like a big flyover right over Aberdeen. That'll dae just the same job. Makes more sense tae me ken?" "Did you ken 60% of all fishermen go out to sea drunk?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTChris Posted November 8, 2007 Share Posted November 8, 2007 C&p from other thread One of the guys in my work is a pain int he arse. he crow-bars his way into conversations and says things that, while not being entirely inappropriate, make everyone feel awkward. He seems on a mission to shock everyone. Today we were talking about music and I mentioned I liked Amy Winehouse, speaking favourably of her vocal performance on the Mark Ronson track Valerie. He dives in "She's junkie scum, waste of oxygen. I hope she dies. I've had two friends die of heroin..." Now, for sitting in an office, that's just unsettling. He also has come out with stuff like "That's what I get for being raised by two raging alcoholics" and once spoke favourably of the band Skrewdriver, a nasty little racist shower of c**ts. I am not interested but I do worry as often others in the team have complained about him when he's been away. I don't like getting involved in this and worry that they may also speak about me when I'm not there, as I suppose I could be a bit annoying. It makes me a little tense at work and makes me wnat to be less open and forthcoming with my workmates. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LargsTON Posted November 9, 2007 Share Posted November 9, 2007 I worked with a guy called igor (not the one from here) about 10 years ago, this guy was pevert city. On more than one occasion, he "accidentally" walked into the ladies locker room just before the start of the shift, and someone forced open his locker one day, and found a small video camera, a pair of woman's knickers, a bra, a stash of jazz mags and a box of toilet tissues. He was also very fond of scat movies and animal porn. That was clearly you. My thoughts exactly. Either that or he made it up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave258 Posted November 9, 2007 Share Posted November 9, 2007 Not in the same league as some of these crackers, but I was at my work earlier tonight and helping out down on the food court. I was filling up the milk fridges as it was totally empty, so the manager sent someone else over so it would get done quicker. IdiotNed: "Orite, eh, ah've tae help you wi' ra mulk." Me: "Okay, fair enough. Go and grab a pallet and batter in." *IdiotNed stands there looking shifty* Me: "What's up?" IdiotNed: "Well, ye huvnae telt me where tae get ra mulk fae, huv ye?" *I stare in disbelief at IdiotNed, who has now worked in this department for a month* Me: "Well, I'd have a good look in the big walk-in fridge that we keep all of the other refridgerated goods in, and if it's not there check out the back by the skip." IdiotNed: "Why ra f**k wid it be oot by ra skip?! It'd get pure warm 'n' that, eh no?" *IdiotNed walks away believing himself to be a complete genius* Won't surprise most people when I say I work in Pollok. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cappielow-doc Posted November 10, 2007 Share Posted November 10, 2007 I used to work with a pure bawbag of a guy,talked s***e all the time,he told us ha married his cousin,he was always sayin things like "lets go out to the car park and settle this".He told us he was at home one night and went for a piss,while happily pissing away his 3 year old boy came in"daddy whats that"looking at his nob,he turned 90 degrees and pissed on the boys face,he actually thought this was hilarious.His behaviour didnt go unnoticed and was sacked.Last heard of cleaning the car park in McDonalds. One of the women i worked with had us in stitches one day.Sitting in the smoke room she was whining on about her teenage sons eating all the chocolate biscuits and how she and her hubby could never get one whilst having a cup of tea. 'Ave hid them in the press under the towels,they'll never find them there.she boasted One of the other girls duly left the smoke room,phoned her house and told the boys where they were,the next day was brilliant as she told us "would you beleive it,the wee buggers found the biscuits"took her about a week before she found out...priceless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skyline Drifter Posted November 10, 2007 Share Posted November 10, 2007 Today we were talking about music and I mentioned I liked Amy Winehouse, speaking favourably of her vocal performance on the Mark Ronson track Valerie. He dives in "She's junkie scum, waste of oxygen. I hope she dies. I've had two friends die of heroin..." Now, for sitting in an office, that's just unsettling. ......though possibly not as unsettling as working in an office with someone who openly likes Amy Winehouse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Belfast_Hibby Posted November 11, 2007 Share Posted November 11, 2007 This woman called up the bar I work in once, a tourist from Kent. It's quite a notorious spot so we get a lot of them. Anyway. "I best be quick, I'm phoning Ireland, but I was wondering do you do coach parties?" "Erm, excuse me?" "Do you cater for coach parties?" "Not.... reallly.....why?" "Well, me and a few friends are coming over and we heard that this bar is a tourist attraction" "It's not really, but you'll be welcome" "Right. Oh, and what are the prices like, I've heard it's expensive in Ireland" "About 2 pounds fifty for a pint" "Pounds? No, we'll bring Euros, it's ok. How many Euros?" "Erm, we use pounds here" "Why? Because of the tourists? Fantastic!" "No...because we're in Northern Ireland" She then went on to express disbelief, shock and out and out wonder at the fact that NI was part of the UK, before hanging up saying "Well, I best be off, I'm phoning Ireland and I don't want a huge phone bill!" Don;t know if she ever actually came in or not, but I'm sure her views would be very welcome Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HGG Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 One place I worked used to use a local temping agency, DLB - known by us as Divs, Loons and Bennies because that was all we ever got from them! If we caught wind that we were getting "Big Brenda" it would always raise a laugh in the office. She actually lived in London but if she fancied a few days away would phone in sick to her workplace there and come up to Rochdale for a few days, taking some temping work through DLB. She never, EVER did any work, but she certainly livened up the office while she was there. I think my favourite trick of hers was with elastic bands - she was quite a big woman and would take an elastic band, stretch it round her tits and then ping it across the office to see how far it went Certainly kept us amused. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigRubberFist Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 I think my favourite trick of hers was with elastic bands - she was quite a big woman and would take an elastic band, stretch it round her tits and then ping it across the office to see how far it went Certainly kept us amused. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RiG Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 The fanny that "works" across from me has now trumped even his own stupidity with this genius comment: "See when you get a pancake ken? Which side are you meant to put butter on cos there's a right and a wrong side eh?" Stupid cunt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayrgirl Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 The fanny that "works" across from me has now trumped even his own stupidity with this genius comment:"See when you get a pancake ken? Which side are you meant to put butter on cos there's a right and a wrong side eh?" Stupid cunt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Minertaur Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 Worked with a couple of people at the legends lounge at Pittodrie who got the sack for numerous reasons. One guy got canned for trying to steal a bottle of champagne. Sadly for him he had to get the key of the boss to get in the storage bit and he was caught when returning the keys One other guy got pissed on the job and ended up falling over in the bar Never laughed so much in my life at his comedy fall Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mushroom Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 This is definitely an area where work beats school hands down. Some of the morons and/or arseholes I have to deal with are unbearable at times, and at school there genuinely is no escape. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swampy Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 This is definitely an area where work beats school hands down.Some of the morons and/or arseholes I have to deal with are unbearable at times, and at school there genuinely is no escape. And with your vast experience in the working world you'll know that it's easy as pie just to disappear into a world of solitude and tranquility. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam_Wee Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 This is definitely an area where work beats school hands down.Some of the morons and/or arseholes I have to deal with are unbearable at times, and at school there genuinely is no escape. YOU KNOW f**k ALL ABOUT REAL LIFE! SHUT UP, SHUT UP RIGHT NOW. I felt it was necessary to post in BOLD. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sonofjenova Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 This is definitely an area where work beats school hands down.Some of the morons and/or arseholes I have to deal with are unbearable at times, and at school there genuinely is no escape. Work is worse than school if your fellow workers are c**ts. Edit: I worked in Morrisons. That is all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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