Grumpy Old Pnb'rs

[vikingTON]

Small misunderstanding there.

"Bum fluff" should be shaved as often as possible until bristly and covering a decent amount of the face.

One person I know kept growing chunks of bum fluff on his chin thinking it made him look grown up when in fact it did just the opposite

My fripe for this post will be belts that don't serve their purpose. I am having to adjust my belt/jeans every five minutes because it won't stay put.

That actually works?

I thought it was a myth.

[Estragon]

A man has just appeared on Mastermind and acheived 3 points for his special subject. 3 points. 3.

I hope John Humphries snaps his neck offscreen Solid Snake style.

[vikingTON]

A man has just appeared on Mastermind and acheived 3 points for his special subject. 3 points. 3.

I hope John Humphries snaps his neck offscreen Solid Snake style.

As long as the specialist subject wasn't "The Life and Works of Jade Goody" then I find it relatively acceptable compared to the other morons on it.

[Fuctifano]

Man at cashpoint: Card out of wallet/pocket, into machine, extract card, extract money, money and card back in wallet/pocket at same time

Woman at cashpoint: ferret about in handbag for purse, ferret about in purse for card, insert card into machine, purse back in handbag, read the screen (just in case), machine spits out card, ferret about in handbag for purse, extract card, put card back in purse, put purse back in handbag, machine spits out money, ferret about in handbag for purse, extract money, put money in purse, put purse in handbag, wait....(just in case) and then, finally, f**k off out of the way

This rips my knitting. Maybe it's because I use online banking and therefore have a rough idea of what my balance is, but I would only take more than 60 seconds at a cashpoint if the machine itself is slow. Nothing worse than being stuck behind someone who's pressing so many buttons that it seems as if they're playing Space Invaders.

That actually works?

I thought it was a myth.

I'm 24 and still a fully paid-up member of the bumfluff club so I would say myth.

[Mak]

The Anthony Cotton show annoys me. Seriously.

I've watched it once ever, and would never have watched it again, except that the gym that I go to has screens up in front of the treadmills, and the time that I go in always coincides with when he's on. It's like a constant fucking reminder of the irritating, specky twat's existence.

What does he do? What's funny about him? As far as I can work out, he's camp. The jokes are...well, they're not there. That is the joke. He's camp. Tee hee hee! I'd have thought that that kind of retarded attempt at "humour" went out with the 1950s music halls. He's like a less funny version of Graham Norton - and that is fucking well saying something. There's nothing homophobic about my dislike of him ; being camp just isn't funny. It isn't a joke. It's just annoying. Even if it wasn't annoying, though, it still wouldn't be funny, it'd just be shit. I'd like to repeatedly stamp on the irritating w**ker's face.

[p&b is a disgrace]

The Anthony Cotton show annoys me. Seriously.

I've watched it once ever, and would never have watched it again, except that the gym that I go to has screens up in front of the treadmills, and the time that I go in always coincides with when he's on. It's like a constant fucking reminder of the irritating, specky twat's existence.

What does he do? What's funny about him? As far as I can work out, he's camp. The jokes are...well, they're not there. That is the joke. He's camp. Tee hee hee! I'd have thought that that kind of retarded attempt at "humour" went out with the 1950s music halls. He's like a less funny version of Graham Norton - and that is fucking well saying something. There's nothing homophobic about my dislike of him ; being camp just isn't funny. It isn't a joke. It's just annoying. Even if it wasn't annoying, though, it still wouldn't be funny, it'd just be shit. I'd like to repeatedly stamp on the irritating w**ker's face.

Yup. They're happy to make a few quid solely because they're a camp z list celeb - but don't dare call them shirtlifters!!

[Lisa Cuddy]

I just had to tell someone else off on another forum. She was complaining that when listening to her ipod on loudspeaker, it was playing all her 'guily pleasures' such as girls allowed in front of other people.

I told her that people that do that in public should are selfish b*****ds, and I feel entirely justified saying so.

[Monkey]

The Anthony Cotton show annoys me. Seriously.

I've watched it once ever, and would never have watched it again, except that the gym that I go to has screens up in front of the treadmills, and the time that I go in always coincides with when he's on. It's like a constant fucking reminder of the irritating, specky twat's existence.

What does he do? What's funny about him? As far as I can work out, he's camp. The jokes are...well, they're not there. That is the joke. He's camp. Tee hee hee! I'd have thought that that kind of retarded attempt at "humour" went out with the 1950s music halls. He's like a less funny version of Graham Norton - and that is fucking well saying something. There's nothing homophobic about my dislike of him ; being camp just isn't funny. It isn't a joke. It's just annoying. Even if it wasn't annoying, though, it still wouldn't be funny, it'd just be shit. I'd like to repeatedly stamp on the irritating w**ker's face.

Anthony fuckin cotton. Absolute shite programme.

I first seen it in Spain about 3 or 4 weeks ago and thought " thank christ it's only these fuckin english c**ts that have got to put up with that pish " as I thought it was a programme beamed from London or Midland regions as I'd never seen the pish before. I could not believe it when I returned home and realised it was on TV in Scotland.

[Half A Person]

Packaging on kids toys.

Seriously, I spend about 5 hours at least on Christmas day simply trying to remove cars and figures and games form their packaging. My son go ta Scooby Doo Mystery Machine van which not only was contained in a box but was literally tied to the cardboard base within the box. The ties were then sellotaped over to secure it even further! There were about twenty these fucking things. And don't get me started on that hermetically sealed plastic packaging where there's no way at all to get into the stuff inside. Even scissors don't work, so you have to use the sharpest, most deadly kitchen knife to saw until it invariably slips and you end up slicing your other hand open.

Folk that phone up wanting to ordr a takeaway so you ask what they want. They pause and then shout

to someone in the background' WHAT ARE YE WANTIN'?'

It might be an idea to decide what you want before phoning up AND WASTING MY FUCKING TIME!!!

I hate when 'journalists' for The Daily Record uses made-up nicknames for football players..usually just adding an 'o' to the first syllable of their surname...Robbo, Lambo, etc etc.

c**tos.

[Ebanda's Handyman Services]

Packaging on kids toys.....

That reminded me of an e-mail I got which showed a kids Superman costume label which said on it:-

WARNING - This suit does not enable the wearer to fly.

My grievance for today so far is telephone interviews.

I had one today for a very good job which involves communicating with people face to face so why interview me over the telephone?

In my opinion you arent able to gauge someones enthusiasm or charisma over the phone so why not just invite candidates along for a formal chat?

[Pettigrew]

Smokers that walk down the streets talking to their pal whilst gesticulating wildly with fag in hand, nearly burning your jacket in the process. Or who flick their finished but still burning fag away without looking.

[An Sionnach]

A man has just appeared on Mastermind and acheived 3 points for his special subject. 3 points. 3.

I hope John Humphries snaps his neck offscreen Solid Snake style.

Tamla Motown, I ask you. Nearly as bad as that Girl's College on University Challenge that were, well, challenged!

[Jay(2006)]

Schoolkids on the bus playing tunes fell bore on their mobiles. It's usually happy hardcore pish too. It absolutely does my tits in.

Some kid is getting their mobile flung out of the window. I am going to do it tonight if it happens B)

You're really not a happy bunny today eh!

[Monster]

Know-it-alls.

There is one person in my immediate circle of aquaintances who I cannot stand being around. He's an arrogant know-it-all. He is absolutely convinced he knows everything.

If you have a fiver, he has a tenner. if you've been to Tenerife, he's been to Elevenerife.

He's a fucking tosser, and I try my best to avoid him like the plague.

But here's my grump:

Does he think people will like him more by telling blatant lies about things he allegedly knows (many of which I know to be wrong), or is he just scared that if there is a subject that someone knows more about than he does that the sky will fall on his head?

[RedV]

if you've been to Tenerife, he's been to Elevenerife.

Anyway, I know what you mean. I know someone exactly like that too. I once had a series of operations in my mouth, none of which were very pleasant. I did feel so much better when this fanny told me they'd had part of their tongue removed six months previously, however.

[the jambo-rocker]

RNB, ESPECIALLY THE RAPPERS INPARTICULAR LIKE 50 CENT(PLEASE RETIRE) AND SNOOP DOGG, THE MUSIC IS JUST SO PISHHHH!! I CANT STAND IT AT ALL

ALSO DANCE MUSIC WHERE THE PEOPLE SOUND LIKE THEY RE ON HELIUM, THAT IS NOT MUSIC AND HOW PEOPLE CAN LISTEN TO IT IS BEYOND ME!!

[Mak]

People who type with CAPS LOCK ON.

I just can't figure it out - do they think that it makes them look like "a big man"? Is it because they think that it stands out more, and they crave attention? Are they just fuckwits?

I know where my money'd be going.

[Jay(2006)]

Know-it-alls.

There is one person in my immediate circle of aquaintances who I cannot stand being around. He's an arrogant know-it-all. He is absolutely convinced he knows everything.

If you have a fiver, he has a tenner. if you've been to Tenerife, he's been to Elevenerife.

He's a fucking tosser, and I try my best to avoid him like the plague.

But here's my grump:

Does he think people will like him more by telling blatant lies about things he allegedly knows (many of which I know to be wrong), or is he just scared that if there is a subject that someone knows more about than he does that the sky will fall on his head?

The Good mood from yesterday's worn off then

[palmy_cammy]

Know-it-alls.

There is one person in my immediate circle of aquaintances who I cannot stand being around. He's an arrogant know-it-all. He is absolutely convinced he knows everything.

If you have a fiver, he has a tenner. if you've been to Tenerife, he's been to Elevenerife.

He's a fucking tosser, and I try my best to avoid him like the plague.

But here's my grump:

Does he think people will like him more by telling blatant lies about things he allegedly knows (many of which I know to be wrong), or is he just scared that if there is a subject that someone knows more about than he does that the sky will fall on his head?

Anyway, I know what you mean. I know someone exactly like that too. I once had a series of operations in my mouth, none of which were very pleasant. I did feel so much better when this fanny told me they'd had part of their tongue removed six months previously, however.

I also know someone like this.

Do you find though that it is blatantly obvious when they are lying, when they come up with a tale from a while back, that you know they would have instantly told you at the time had it been true.

[Mak]

Stupid people who e-mail me at work.

I e-mailed some woman today to tell her that she couldn't get an expense claim put straight into her account as she's a contractor, but that she can get a cheque sent out.

Her reply : "Just to let you know, this was authorised by (name of some office manager nonentity), I am a temp and my personnel number resembles that"

I couldn't give two shites who authorised it, you're still a contractor (which is the exact same thing as a temp, you moron). And no, your personnel number doesn't "resemble" the fact that you're a temp, it reflects it. f**k off and fill in the cheque request form.