Grumpy Old Pnb'rs

[RedWeb]

As someone who has recently left their 30's behind I feel I am now well qualified to be a grumpy auld b*****d. To be honest I have actually been one since I was about 24 and over time I've been collecting a sizeable list of things I hate.

I'll start off with this:

I feckin detest these noisy exhausts which you often see on the back of auld bangers and boy racers. Absolute w**k shite which serves no purpose other than to remind passers by of how small the drivers knob is. Anyone who has one should be forced to drive a smart car for the rest of their lives.

More later

[Ned Nederlander]

I've been getting very 'Victor Meldrew' recently ... from getting all worked up about how folk park outside my kids school to going mental at folk for not indicating , I know I'm doing it but I just can't help it ...

mind you , the school thing is probably a fairly decent shout , whilst most folk arrive on time and park safely you get the total morons who just roll up at the last minute and park on the zig-zag lines they're doing something fairly dangerous but either don't realise it or just don't give a damn - my 'Meldrewism' has me shaking my head at them like a dafty whilst thinking about printing out the Highway Code section relating to the offence and popping a copy under their window wiper

*in just over an hours time I'll be taking my 'Meldrewism' out on John Hughes and/or the referee *

[Pink Freud]

People who turn every sentence into a question by raising their voice at the end? In case you didn't understand the point they were making?

I'm 41.

[djchapsticks]

I'll start off with this:

I feckin detest these noisy exhausts which you often see on the back of auld bangers and boy racers. Absolute w**k shite which serves no purpose other than to remind passers by of how small the drivers knob is. Anyone who has one should be forced to drive a smart car for the rest of their lives.

I'm 23 and I hate this.

going mental at folk for not indicating , I know I'm doing it but I just can't help it ...

I'm 23 and I hate this.

I also hate:

Folk who go right up the the edge of the slip-lane when going on a motorway to steal an extra two fucking car spaces.

Similarly, folk who can see when a lane is closed however many yards ahead, and is signposted every 50 yards, yet still wait until they are right upto the fucking edge of the roadworks to indicate in. I generally blast the horn and shout 'f**k off you fucking f**k' at those types of people.

Women who can't reverse and turn at the same time when leaving a parking space, making the simple exercise of reversing out of a space turn into a 27-point turn akin to Mike Myers in Austin Powers.

In line with the loud exhaust, I also hate those stupid b*****d bodies on boy racer cars. You know what I mean....lowered sides, blacked out windows, 3ft high rear spoiler, those blue bottom lights, low profile tyres, bucket seats, a tribal design type 'tattoo' thing in the rear window and a sound system that would knock your teeth out, but at the end of the day, IT'S STILL A FUCKING 1.1 T-REG CORSA YOU FUCKING HALFWITS. NO AMOUNT OF PAINTJOBS AND IMPROVEMENTS WILL EVER HIDE THE FACT THAT YOU ARE DRIVING A HAIRDRESSERS MOTOR WITH ALL THE ENGINE POWER OF A PETROL FLYMO!!! Honest to christ, it's like when you were a kid and you put an empty juice bottle on the back wheel of your bike, so the spokes would hit it and it would slightly bear resemblance to a motorbike. That's what boy-racers do with their shite cars, though at least when I did t with my BMX, I had slightly more credibility cos I wasn't dressed like a fucking acne-scarred cartoon character.

Which brings me to my next point. Lacoste Trackies. What the f**k are they all about? 7 wee guys all kicking about in what they obviously think is top gear as their mammies paid £200 for it off their provvy cheques. Naw mate, listen, it just looks stupid. Blue Tackies, NAW. Green trackies, NAW. Red Trackies, for fucks sake NAW! Any trackies.....NAW!!! Cos it cost a bit of money doesn't make it good gear, I could go to What Everyone Wants, get kitted out for a fiver and probably still look better than them. Anyone on here with a half an ounce of brain-matter could.

And breathe. More to come later I'd imagine. I enjoy a rant now and then.

[orlandoblue]

I hate not being able to get a seat in the pub, I hate it even more if the music in said pub is too noisy.

[uberman]

I hate it when people say " you know what I mean" at the end of every sentence. A work colleague told me a story the other day which started, "I was walking to the shops, do you know what I mean" No, I have no idea what you mean from that, please elaborate you inbred c**t.

[orlandoblue]

I hate it when people say " you know what I mean" at the end of every sentence. A work colleague told me a story the other day which started, "I was walking to the shops, do you know what I mean" No, I have no idea what you mean from that, please elaborate you inbred c**t.

:lol:

[The Old Northerner]

I like threads like these - it add to my conviction that "your time will come" and allows me say I told you so. If you'd have listened to me in the first place it wouldn't be such a shock now

[H_B]

I agree totoally with the boy racers thing. Falkirk is a nightmare for these fuds who love to accelerate from 0-30 in the 50 yards between on traffic light to the next, in their shitty souped up Corsa with shit music blaring from a stereo that costs more than their car.

Oh, and they call themselves "cruisers".

f**k off.

Following on from another thread, I also hate scheminess in speech. My pet hate at the moment is

"Am are".

What the f'ck is that supposed to mean you moron? In what way and in what language does "I am" become "Am are". They should be sterilised, as they are just going to procreate and bring more "Am are"s into the world.

[RedWeb]

One of my current hates is pathetic attempts at facial hair. Let me explain...this is not a beard:

THIS is a beard.

If the first one is you then f*** off and grow a proper one ya metrosexual, Coldplay loving ponce.

[p&b is a disgrace]

my 'Meldrewism' has me shaking my head at them like a dafty whilst thinking about printing out the Highway Code section relating to the offence and popping a copy under their window wiper

I've started keeping a copy of the Highway Code in the car ans shaking it in anger when someone offends me on the roads. This is usually when a woman driver crosses lanes in front of me when they are trying to exit a roundabout. Why cant they just keep between the 2 white lines? Its not fecking difficult!!!!!!

[dave258]

Pubs or clubs that dont do pints.

"We only do bottles mate."

Cue me having to pay two pound fucking forty for a bottle of some designer fucking Czech pish, which both costs more money and contains less alcohol than a pint does.

And pubs which do pints but dont do your basic lagers such as Tennents or even Carling, only bloody 2.75 for a pint of Heineken or Kronenberg when all I want is a basic bloody pint.

And I'm only 19!

[Lang Toun Lad]

I'm 17 and I agree with most of this stuff.

What have I let myself in for...

[Mushroom]

I'm 23 and I hate this.

I'm 23 and I hate this.

I'm 16 and agree whole-heartedly.

In fact I agree with all of them except the beard one.

I would debate that he is in fact in mid growth and is thus on the way to a better beard.

That or he can't be arsed shaving, which is equally acceptable.

I would add some of my own gripes, but I would end up getting arrested probably.

[Monkey]

40 mile an hours drivers

You know the fuckin tossers who accelerate away from you in the 20 or 30 mile zone where there are kids playin in the street, and then when they reach the outside of the town and drive into a 60 mile an hour limit, they continue to do 40 miles an hour.You then catch them up , but cannot pass as there is another fuckwit with the same driving attitude coming the other way.

I really think you should be entitled to shoot these c**ts in the head.

But, then again,maybe I'm just a moaning faced auld crabbit c**t.

[King Kebab]

In fact I agree with all of them except the beard one.

I would debate that he is in fact in mid growth and is thus on the way to a better beard.

That or he can't be arsed shaving, which is equally acceptable.

That gets my goat about todays youth, there is just no excuse for a tardy appearance with respect to facial hair.

A real man hides himself away until his growth is in such a state as to be deemed presentable!!!

Only when cut, trimmed and shaped to an aesthetically pleasing shape or pre-planned design should the aforesaid gentleman be seen in public!!!

I don't know, I despair sometimes I really do!!!

[vikingTON]

That gets my goat about todays youth, there is just no excuse for a tardy appearance with respect to facial hair.

A real man hides himself away until his growth is in such a state as to be deemed presentable!!!

Only when cut, trimmed and shaped to an aesthetically pleasing shape or pre-planned design should the aforesaid gentleman be seen in public!!!

I don't know, I despair sometimes I really do!!!

I only shave for the purpose of the away child gate.

[centralparker]

I also hate scheminess in speech. My pet hate at the moment is

"Am are".

What the f'ck is that supposed to mean you moron? In what way and in what language does "I am" become "Am are". They should be sterilised, as they are just going to procreate and bring more "Am are"s into the world.

Nothing wrong with using a dialect but this is just an example of illiterate trash.

[mcd54]

"Am are".

What the f'ck is that supposed to mean you moron? In what way and in what language does "I am" become "Am are". They should be sterilised, as they are just going to procreate and bring more "Am are"s into the world.

Here in the West it`s, "Am Ur" ... same moronic implications though

[Reynard]

Idiots that try and decapitate you when it starts to rain and they put their fucking umbrellas up and proceed to ignore every other fucker using the pavement. Ignorant c**ts. Try looking where you are fucking going you p***k.

And folk using the pavement to cycle on.Get to f**k. I refuse to move for you. Get out my way and onto the road you horrible little fucks.

And yes, that ravey music stuff that the spotty faced crew seem to think makes them deeply attractive is horrible. I was on the bus the other day and some spotty clown was sitting up the back subjecting everyone on the bus to an endless round of ravey shite with the usual plodding beat but the singer sounded like fucking pinky and perky. WTF is that all about?

Also. Why do so many folk not thank you when you hold a door open for them? Ignorant c**ts. And most of them are old b*****ds as well.