Town Characters

[DanElderRRFC]

and threatened to phone the police.

i've been threatened with that many a time "if that ball comes in ma garden wance mare..etc." he actually did it once we ran away then continued playing outside his house the next day good old days

[Ye Olde Hamiltonian]

Glasgow also has "Hamish", ginger hair with a beard, was a regular on the Newton/Neilston/Cathcart Circle trains all the time, rarely seen without a can of Irn Bru in his hand, he seemed to have an encyclopedic knowledge of public transport affairs/timetables.

Another person who is rumoured to have been exceptionally intelligent but some mysterious incident in the past has tipped them over the edge.

I am sure I spotted the "Hamish" guy recently.He also used to go on the line to Hamilton/Motherwell etc.

[Guest Tatty Boabie]

There was a guy in York, where I grew up, Mad Bob we called him, although it's extremely debatable as to whether his name was Bob, but anyway, I digress :

He was a fantastic bloke between the hours of 9.30am and 1pm, where he would regularly help Old people across the road, make little children laugh with his Japery and Trickery, silly dances and baffling magic tricks.

It was from 1pm however, that his character took a sinister turn.

He would start to drink very strong Cider and Export Lager and by about 3-3.30pm he was a completely different animal.

He would walk from the main street (Parliament Street) in York all the way down Stonebow and back continuously shouting at people in some bizarre language, seemingly in an agressive tone.

The same man who had delighted the kids earlier in the day was now scaring the shit out of the poor wee mites.

Occassionally, he would focus on one unfortunate individual, and shout "Can ya Move, Move, Can Ya Move", and keep this up until they ran away.

I never heard what his story was, but I imagine he was a groundbreaking Brain Surgeon, whose Dog died.

[F_T_Y]

In my local town.There was this old c**t who went abount in an electric scooter.But if you shouted jimmy at him he would chase you.I remember walking past the bus stop where two girls were standing and they shouted at him and he turned round and chased them.Last i heard he got trapped in a ditch one night , i haven't seen him since.

[LiviClyde]

There is a man in Bonnybridge with one leg who smells of a mixture of BO and urine. He wears dirty grey jogging trousers and a black duffle coat and black shoes. Strangely, he always seemed to be in Scotmid at the same time as me. He had two kids and a dog whom he used to take to the shops with him, the kids were in their early teens and you could tell they got bullied at school. I was told that he made them wait outside with the dog whilst he shopped incase anyone stole the dog.

I was sitting behind him on a bus one day. He was sitting beside an old lady and I heard him tell her he got his leg blown off in the army

Should that not be Shoe?

[qos4eva]

There is an old guy, that dresses up ALL the time - I mean all the time. One day he'll be a cowboy in full cowboy attire, complete with hat and leather jacket with the tassels at the back. The next day he'll be a minister-type character. And this is perfectly normal apparently

That is Duncan. He used to go to Queens games a couple of seasons ago and would wear daft hats and bring a trumbone! cldn't play anything on it just randomly made noises with it. He once dressed up as a suitcase! cut holes for his arms legs and head and climbed inside!

[Guest]

Shakey Head Mannie - has a shakey head and wears womans clothes. Sometimes seen hitting sandwich boards with something, a walking stick, a spade or a rake. There were videos on YouTube.

Braveheart Man - as Calderson says, wears Tartan dress all day, every day. I see him on the way to work going past the Eagle May onto Park Road. He smells of Old Spice.

Tillydrone Ned - a ginger abomination of a ned who often walks around Tillydrone/Seaton area topless trying to look hard with his baseball cap worn backwards on his head. It doesn't work.

Peter Dow - crazed mental patient who shouts loudly at you and tries to hit you with his home made signs. Hangs around Aberdeen Uni and spits at students.

Woman with Glass Eye who sells big issue - screams for you to buy the Big Issue and is often seen raiding The Bakers Oven for all its hot pies.

Apparantly the story of Shakey Head Mannie is a sad one. It was claimed he used to be quite intelligent until he had a severe mental breakdown. I've seen him in a dress a few times. He normally wears these baggy black trousers, and rakes through bins. Someone said to me once he rakes for things he can fix and use/sell.

I think he looks a wee bit like Steve Paterson

Braveheart Man is bizarre. Am I the only one who has seen him when driving only? Not once have I passed him on foot.

Remember Robot Wifey? She used to stand outside Marks and Spencers doing the old robot routine? Haven't seen her in years.

[Guest dazzle-dfc]

Oh f**k there's a few in Dundee.....

Mary - A tiny old woman who isn't actually called Mary

she always goes about town or the Stobswell area and if you call her Mary she screams ''MEH NAMES NO MARY!!'' and tries to attack you

Alfie - some guy who everyone thinks murdered his family, always wonders around in a suit and works picking up litter at the carnival(still in a suit) when it comes to town.

Badger - an old man who wears a bright pink suit and a cowboy hat, he is pissed everytime you see him and sings for beer money.

[Michael W]

I'm actually surprised none of the Kirkcaldy guys have mentioned this one yet: Theres a random Chinese guy who sits in the Mercat everyday, wearing a suit and a cloth cap. Despite his posh appearance, he picks up coppers all day. Me and some of my mates used to roll coppers across the floor infront of him and then laugh at him chasing them .

[Enigma]

I'm actually surprised none of the Kirkcaldy guys have mentioned this one yet: Theres a random Chinese guy who sits in the Mercat everyday, wearing a suit and a cloth cap. Despite his posh appearance, he picks up coppers all day. Me and some of my mates used to roll coppers across the floor infront of him and then laugh at him chasing them .

I always recon he is a chinese spy!!!

[Guest FCB]

Peter Dow

Seen him on youtube before. He fancies Condolesa Rice and seems a bit weird

[H_B]

Probably the wrong thread for this, as he isnt a town character as such but has anyone else noticed the guy in Falkirk who plays the drum outside Farmfoods at the weekend?

Apparently he plays the same beat constantly for 7 hours a day.

[Ebanda's Handyman Services]

I'm actually surprised none of the Kirkcaldy guys have mentioned this one yet: Theres a random Chinese guy who sits in the Mercat everyday, wearing a suit and a cloth cap. Despite his posh appearance, he picks up coppers all day. Me and some of my mates used to roll coppers across the floor infront of him and then laugh at him chasing them .

I know who you mean. He wears a pink coat now and again?

I thought of another cracker.

Auld Elsie:- She used to work in Peter Greigs across from Aldi and would chase you like a woman possessed if you shouted "Hiyyyyya Ellllllsie" in a patronising tone. Got done for assault on a Viewforth High child and had a moustache akin to Hitlers.

My mum actually worked in the same place as her for a while and said that she was really nice but teetering on the brink of insanity.

[Guest Ron Burgundy]

I am from Muirhead and know who you are on about. I think his name is Thomas or something.

There is also big Rab who walks about with his shopping in a tattered old Farmfoods bag. Wait for it though, he carries his shopping on his head

f**k yeah...he is uber creepy.......when i'm waiting at the lights you can see the others at the bus stop edging slowly away from his icy gestapo stare.....he certainly makes the effort mind.

[Links_Park_Dynamo]

We've got

Singing Sid : A superb old guy who would get minging and go around town singing nazi songs. He also assaulted a worker in a local shop by throwing him in a freezer, alas don't see him that much now he has been forced to stop drinking.

Davey Lowe & Gerry : Would always see this pair together who would give chase whenever you shouted Gerry I've got your keys.

Canadian Joe : A Canuck who lives in the town who dresses like a lumber jack and was always good for a wind up.

[Hughsie]

Who was the guy that started ramming supporter's buses down at Ayr a few years ago? Think it was around the time we went into liquidation, could be wrong though. I was quite young at the time and thought it was the most exciting thing that had ever happened.

The guy with the ghettoblaster that's dead now of course. We used to call him Boomboax Boab though.

There's a guy who isn't "famous", but is a weirdo nonetheless. He lives round the road from me and walks his dog past my garden every day. A few years back my dad was replacing our shed and there was a massive pile of wood lying out the side of our house waiting to get collected. To cut a long story short, he asked for the wood, my dad told him to fuck off, and now he gets his dog to shite in our garden every day. He's nuts.

[Enigma]

I'm actually surprised none of the Kirkcaldy guys have mentioned this one yet: Theres a random Chinese guy who sits in the Mercat everyday, wearing a suit and a cloth cap. Despite his posh appearance, he picks up coppers all day. Me and some of my mates used to roll coppers across the floor infront of him and then laugh at him chasing them .

Ladies a Gentlemen I give you Flesky

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZyz4T9-KoU

[Buzz Killington]

One of the most famous town characters I know of is the 'Market Street Mincer' in Manchester. He's been talked about for years and has a bit of a following on the net. He's even got a facebook appreciation page. I think that he had to eventually leave the city.

He basically minced up Market Street and when he got to the end of the street, turned around and minced back the way he came, got to the end of the street, turned around again, you get the idea...

That's John Rankin!

Dundee - Dundee University has a male lecturer that wears a skirt, tights and high heels!

Inverness - I think someone has already mention Kim the busker.

Also around the Christian religious festivals there's a guy that walks up and down the High Street with a board with some sort of bible extract and proclaiming "Jesus died for your sins".

Just remembered there is a lassie (who can't be much older than 16) that usually hangs out around the bookies in Baron Taylor Street asking for 20p for the bus everyday.

Edit: I think it was Jesus that died not God.

[CALDERON]

I was watching the Greenock Catman on Youtube the other day.

That was, erm, interesting.

[Cardinal Richelieu]

WE used to have a politics lecturer at Glasgow Uni called Michael Lessnoff. His area of expertise revolved around John Stuart Mill - and Mill's book "On Liberty - and other essays".

Rumour has it that he couldn't quite let go of preaching John Stuart Mill's philosophies outside work. He used to stand up on street corners in 19th century garb near Byres Road and start reading allowed from On Liberty. He certainly used to refer to the book as "My book" in lectures.

Anyone else heard of him? He was quite a pleasant chap actually - although nutty as a fruitcake.