Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...

[Florentine_Pogen]

29 minutes ago, BTFD said:

Excessive wanking injury. No sympathy.

Give your table a clean when it dies down a bit.

.......and pull your feckin' zip up. No need for that sort of thing ....................

[Derry Alli]

Scotland doing what is believed to be a World first with driverless vehicles on the road.

Putting them on a route across a bridge.

Having a driver in them, just in case. Having a 'bus captain' in them to collect fares.

[101]

8 minutes ago, Derry Alli said:

Scotland doing what is believed to be a World first with driverless vehicles on the road.

Putting them on a route across a bridge.

Having a driver in them, just in case. Having a 'bus captain' in them to collect fares.

It should all be robotic.

Didn't pay your fare?

Acting the wideo to your fellow passengers?

Criticising the kingdom?

Results in being thrown over the side of the bridge by a giant robotic Leishman.

[supermik]

11 hours ago, GordonD said:

Post your compo face here so we can judge.

 

[MEADOWXI]

1 hour ago, Derry Alli said:

Scotland doing what is believed to be a World first with driverless vehicles on the road.

Putting them on a route across a bridge.

Having a driver in them, just in case. Having a 'bus captain' in them to collect fares.

So a normal bus would have a driver doing everything.

Now what will undoubtedly be a much more expensive driverless bus needs a crew of two to run it.

Was this story released on April 1st? It cannot be true.

[Hedgecutter]

10 hours ago, tamthebam said:

"Excuse me, Bishop, but I have to kick you up the arse because of a silly bet I made with Father Dick Byrne"

"Oh, that's alright, Ted, go right ahead"

That's not a scenario I meant.

First example off the top of my head is the IT Crowd episode is the one where Roy ends up on the street topless because he was forced to give an old woman his jacket.  Had he simply said "I can't give you this for a pillow because I've got nothing else to wear", then the others would have said "fair enough" and used something else from around the office.

[BFTD]

Fawlty Towers, as written by Hedgecutter:

Polly: "Mr Fawlty, there's been a misunderstanding about the hotel inspector..."

Basil: "My God, I hate this job and the entire human race, including my wife. Polly, you're in charge - I'm leaving to join a monastery"

*credits roll*

[Miguel Sanchez]

3 hours ago, Hedgecutter said:

That's not a scenario I meant.

First example off the top of my head is the IT Crowd episode is the one where Roy ends up on the street topless because he was forced to give an old woman his jacket.  Had he simply said "I can't give you this for a pillow because I've got nothing else to wear", then the others would have said "fair enough" and used something else from around the office.

You'll notice this happens in everything Graham Linehan writes.

[Hedgecutter]

Waiting on somebody in the pub who walked in before you and chose a secret far flung corner to hide in.

"Where are you?"

"I'm in the pub waiting on you!"

Edited April 6, 2023 by Hedgecutter

[Alert Mongoose]

14 hours ago, Hedgecutter said:

Comedy situations on TV shows that result from a sequence of events that would have been avoided had the character just given a not-particularly embarrassing, simple explanation of something earlier in the story.  #buzzkill

Have you dismissed every Broons storyline involving the Bairn and Grampa? 

Heathen.

[Sergeant Wilson]

20 hours ago, Raidernation said:

Gout. Very painful 

^^^

 

[GordonD]

20 hours ago, Raidernation said:

Gout. Very painful 

 

[tamthebam]

7 hours ago, Alert Mongoose said:

Have you dismissed every Broons storyline involving the Bairn and Grampa? 

Heathen.

I liked the Viz version

"Grampa's having a fight"

They all rush round

Grampa's sitting on the pan

"Silly Bairn, she must have misheard. Grampa's having a shite.."

[bennett]

 

[Derry Alli]

On 06/04/2023 at 00:16, Raidernation said:

Gout. Very painful 

Not as painful as a man in stonewash!

Right in the feels!

[philpy]

Our Next door neighbours are away on holiday,  we heard noises from the house this morning, we Just assumed they were home early. Nope. It was some c**t tanning their house.

[Stellaboz]

You just assumed? 

[Empty It]

How early in the morning were these noises? Anything before 8am and I'd have been having a nosey.

[Venti]

"Comedians" like the ones on Taskmaster & most of Channel 4.

Having thick specs doesn't make you funny.

[philpy]

4 hours ago, Empty It said:

How early in the morning were these noises? Anything before 8am and I'd have been having a nosey.

Just before 7am. I've felt guilty as f**k all day for not phoning the police. But a couple of neighbours have seen someone hanging around the back of the house recently,  and have given the police a fairly good description of them.