Lyle Lanley Posted April 4, 2023 Share Posted April 4, 2023 2 hours ago, GiGi said: Ah, those gobshites again. Even the 4G on my phone has been humped most of the day. Same issues with the 4G on my phone. Shambles. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted April 4, 2023 Share Posted April 4, 2023 11 hours ago, jimbaxters said: Not being able (socially) to fart freely. For the last week or so I've been constantly sooking it back up as there has never been a proper moment to let it go. The bathroom is just off the staff room which invariably only has one person sat on the computer which is definitely within trumpet call hearing distance. When I eventually get back in the car it's like McCartney's Frog Chorus. I worked in a wee office a few years back, small enough that nobody could get away with farting without being outed for the sound/smell. My desk shared a wall with the single-cubicle toilet, and every day was a constant procession of people emptying their flatus down the white porcelain tuba, followed by awkward nods of acknowledgement as they emerged and walked past me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted April 4, 2023 Share Posted April 4, 2023 11 hours ago, jimbaxters said: Not being able (socially) to fart freely. For the last week or so I've been constantly sooking it back up as there has never been a proper moment to let it go. The bathroom is just off the staff room which invariably only has one person sat on the computer which is definitely within trumpet call hearing distance. When I eventually get back in the car it's like McCartney's Frog Chorus. Find empty lift Fart in lift Get off at next floor while sending the lift up to the executive level for them to enjoy and walk back down the stairs to your desk whistling innocently 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted April 4, 2023 Share Posted April 4, 2023 24 minutes ago, tamthebam said: Find empty lift Fart in lift Get off at next floor while sending the lift up to the executive level for them to enjoy and walk back down the stairs to your desk whistling innocently Kinda backfires (arf) when the doors open on the next floor and all your colleagues are heading out for lunch. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hk blues Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 On 02/04/2023 at 18:18, 'WellDel said: but singing "I am your mother", while pouting in a black gown with her tits hanging out seemed a bit, weird. Plenty of folk would pay plenty of money for that! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 7 hours ago, BTFD said: Kinda backfires (arf) when the doors open on the next floor and all your colleagues are heading out for lunch. 1 hour ago, hk blues said: Plenty of folk would pay plenty of money for that! And that. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 10 hours ago, BTFD said: I worked in a wee office a few years back, small enough that nobody could get away with farting without being outed for the sound/smell. My desk shared a wall with the single-cubicle toilet, and every day was a constant procession of people emptying their flatus down the white porcelain tuba, followed by awkward nods of acknowledgement as they emerged and walked past me. ^^^^^^ Desk was IN the toilet 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 Just now, GordonD said: ^^^^^^ Desk was IN the toilet Strange Dreams thread for this pish 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 11 minutes ago, GordonD said: ^^^^^^ Desk was IN the toilet If there'd been a hole in the wall, I literally could've held their hand to support them through difficult bowel movements. (rumours I made a hole in the wall have been greatly exaggerated) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supermik Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 About 20 years ago, the kids and myself planted some tiny little tree shoots in the garden. Our pride and joy for a bit. Some bugger has just cut them all down Just because they were about 20 metres tall and overhung a major A road was neither here nor there… Do you think that a claim for ptsd would be successful? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iminavest Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 Glen hoddle 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 4 hours ago, supermik said: About 20 years ago, the kids and myself planted some tiny little tree shoots in the garden. Our pride and joy for a bit. Some bugger has just cut them all down Just because they were about 20 metres tall and overhung a major A road was neither here nor there… Do you think that a claim for ptsd would be successful? Post your compo face here so we can judge. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 Comedy situations on TV shows that result from a sequence of events that would have been avoided had the character just given a not-particularly embarrassing, simple explanation of something earlier in the story. #buzzkill 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 5 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said: Comedy situations on TV shows that result from a sequence of events that would have been avoided had the character just given a not-particularly embarrassing, simple explanation of something earlier in the story. #buzzkill 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 5 hours ago, supermik said: About 20 years ago, the kids and myself planted some tiny little tree shoots in the garden. Our pride and joy for a bit. Some bugger has just cut them all down Just because they were about 20 metres tall and overhung a major A road was neither here nor there… Do you think that a claim for ptsd would be successful? There were a line of trees half way near Edzell that my dad carved my and my brothers' initials into (aye, bad, I know) when we were born. Did a little detour to see it when in the area recently, and the trees have been taken out following recent storms. Don't have any family down that way and it was strangely the only remaining connection I had to the area. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 (edited) 12 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said: Comedy situations on TV shows that result from a sequence of events that would have been avoided had the character just given a not-particularly embarrassing, simple explanation of something earlier in the story. #buzzkill There are literally entire shows where every episode is this trope. I'm actually struggling to think of a sitcom episode where this doesn't happen now. You've ruined comedy for me. 1 minute ago, Hedgecutter said: There were a line of trees half way near Edzell that my dad carved my and my brothers' initials into (aye, bad, I know) when we were born. Did a little detour to see it when in the area recently, and the trees have been taken out following recent storms. Don't have any family down that way and it was strangely the only remaining connection I had to the area. Go on, tell us where @supermik's trees are. You know you want to. Edited April 5, 2023 by BTFD Double Hedgecutter. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 35 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said: Comedy situations on TV shows that result from a sequence of events that would have been avoided had the character just given a not-particularly embarrassing, simple explanation of something earlier in the story. #buzzkill "Excuse me, Bishop, but I have to kick you up the arse because of a silly bet I made with Father Dick Byrne" "Oh, that's alright, Ted, go right ahead" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 15 minutes ago, tamthebam said: "Excuse me, Bishop, but I have to kick you up the arse because of a silly bet I made with Father Dick Byrne" "Oh, that's alright, Ted, go right ahead" I don't know exactly how that conversation would go, but I really can't see Len giving such an agreeable answer. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raidernation Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 Gout. Very painful 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 Excessive wanking injury. No sympathy. Give your table a clean when it dies down a bit. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.