Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...

[Amarillo Bairn]

I am also a recovering alcoholic with five and a half years soberiety.
I lapsed many, many times before this current period of sobriety. I often fell into the trap of thinking that I could only have one, and it took me a long time to realise that I cannot drink at all. I hated the person I had become through drinking. I was a pathetic and empty shell of myself. It took me to get to that point to stop.
Lapsing is part of the process, so don't beat yourself up too much about it. I used to go to AA meetings and did not agree with the catastrophising and shame about lapsing that was common place in the meetings I attended. Lapses do happen and can happen after any period of time. It's the nature of our condition. Lapsing does not mean you have failed. It's a learning experience. I wish you well, and hope you manage to stop again. 
Take care.

Thanks mate, more gutted that I succumbed on a whim yesterday to have a pint,and thinking I could just have 1 or 2, was steaming before I knew it after having about 8,
Soberity started again today, I also went to AA meetings but they weren't for me, awful lot of judgemental folk there and the wee prayer they say at the end was enough for me not to go back,

[Richey Edwards]

Just now, Amarillo Bairn said:

Thanks mate, more gutted that I succumbed on a whim yesterday to have a pint,and thinking I could just have 1 or 2, was steaming before I knew it after having about 8,
Soberity started again today, I also went to AA meetings but they weren't for me, awful lot of judgemental folk there and the wee prayer they say at the end was enough for me not to go back,

That's a familiar story for me. Every "1 or 2 drinks" turned into a drinking session for me, because I could never stop. I would drink until I was sick or until I passed out.

 

During my first period of sobriety I went to a lot of AA meetings and after two years I became disillusioned and unhappy within it and ended up drinking again.

 

The prayer and higher power thing never sat well with me, but I stuck it out for two years because I did not know that other ways were possible. Plus I could be a horrible b*****d when I was drinking and felt I had to pay a penance for it.

 

It took me nearly eight years to stop for a substantial period of time again. At the start of this period of sobriety, I did briefly return to AA but stopped after a few weeks and have done it mostly by myself this time.

 

Absolutely key to my sobriety is that I have never forgotten why I stopped drinking. I ended up in some very dangerous situations. I hated the person I was. I used to be someone who would not be invited to events because I would get drunk and behave like a p***k. My own family used to be ashamed of me because of the states I would get in. I was someone who could not be relied on. Now I am no longer any of those things. I have become someone my family are proud of.

 

I know you're gutted - I would be too - but the fact you are starting your sobriety again so soon is a positive. I am glad you didn't take eight years to start sobriety again like I did. 

 

Good luck and be kind to yourself. Feel free to message if you want. 

[Oystercatcher]

Last week I said one of the reasons I enjoyed pie and Bovril was the lack of empathy.

The replies to @Amarillo Bairn are absolutely superb and another reason that this message board is fantastic.

 

[Arch Stanton]

On 12/10/2022 at 21:05, DiegoDiego said:

On 12/10/2022 at 09:06, GordonD said:

Nestle's. For most of my life it was "Nessels" then it suddenly became "Ness-lay".

How old are you? It's been pronounced NESS-lay for as long as I can remember.

Was always Nessels when I was growing up.

 

[TxRover]

4 hours ago, Richey Edwards said:

That's a familiar story for me. Every "1 or 2 drinks" turned into a drinking session for me, because I could never stop. I would drink until I was sick or until I passed out.

 

During my first period of sobriety I went to a lot of AA meetings and after two years I became disillusioned and unhappy within it and ended up drinking again.

 

The prayer and higher power thing never sat well with me, but I stuck it out for two years because I did not know that other ways were possible. Plus I could be a horrible b*****d when I was drinking and felt I had to pay a penance for it.

 

It took me nearly eight years to stop for a substantial period of time again. At the start of this period of sobriety, I did briefly return to AA but stopped after a few weeks and have done it mostly by myself this time.

 

Absolutely key to my sobriety is that I have never forgotten why I stopped drinking. I ended up in some very dangerous situations. I hated the person I was. I used to be someone who would not be invited to events because I would get drunk and behave like a p***k. My own family used to be ashamed of me because of the states I would get in. I was someone who could not be relied on. Now I am no longer any of those things. I have become someone my family are proud of.

 

I know you're gutted - I would be too - but the fact you are starting your sobriety again so soon is a positive. I am glad you didn't take eight years to start sobriety again like I did. 

 

Good luck and be kind to yourself. Feel free to message if you want. 

AA is the bane of many, found this after a quick lookie…

https://www.addiction.org.uk/alternatives-to-alcoholics-anonymous/
 

and this:

https://www.uk-rehab.com/treatment-rehab/therapy/five-alternatives-to-12-step-meetings/
 

Can’t testify on any of it, but in my previous job I worked with a number of heavy drinkers who had to find ways to control their behavior and almost every one was able to find a group that filled their needs without them having to hold their noses. It’s a shit problem, and often seems there’s no good options, but there are ways. Glad to hear you finally found a way!

[AnderooMFC]

6 hours ago, Amarillo Bairn said:

the wee prayer they say at the end was enough for me not to go back,

I have no experience with any groups or 12-step programs. But as an atheist, the 'higher power' concept of AA always bugged me. Google seems to bring up a lot of secular programs in the US. Or a few in Ireland (which, of all the places, seems odd to me but hey ho) I did find this Sober Without God website. The link says they have a Monday 8pm UK Time meeting via zoom.

You might find it helpful. You might not. You could patch it all together and remain sober for many years. You could attend weekly meetings and find a supportive community. Who knows? The main thing I have heard from many friends, struggling with all types of addiction, is that progress isn't linear. 

Upticks, letdowns, highs and lows, progress and the other days; it is all part of your journey. Do not judge yourself too harshly for setbacks. Sobriety started the next day and one day it will stick and be permanent. I wish you well on your journey.

[GordonD]

9 hours ago, Arch Stanton said:

Was always Nessels when I was growing up.

 

Thanks for proving my point but that particular advert deserves to be confined to the pits of hell because the Milky Bar Kid is and always has been a cowboy, not an astronaut.

[Arch Stanton]

14 minutes ago, GordonD said:

Thanks for proving my point but that particular advert deserves to be confined to the pits of hell because the Milky Bar Kid is and always has been a cowboy, not an astronaut.

There are plenty more on YouTube featuring the cowboy and the Nessels pronunciation. 

[GordonD]

1 hour ago, Arch Stanton said:

There are plenty more on YouTube featuring the cowboy and the Nessels pronunciation. 

Well, I'm not going to do a search for "young boys dressed as cowboys"...

[sugna]

4 minutes ago, GordonD said:

Well, I'm not going to do a search for "young boys dressed as cowboys" again

 

[SlipperyP]

This ones for @kingjoey

David Bowie.

Always said as Bow (as in bow to the king) ee, now they different Bow (archer and bow) ee.

What is correct, and can I add if it's not that I think, you can also f**k off.

Edited October 17, 2022 by SlipperyP

[microdave]

13 hours ago, Oystercatcher said:

Last week I said one of the reasons I enjoyed pie and Bovril was the lack of empathy.

The replies to @Amarillo Bairn are absolutely superb and another reason that this message board is fantastic.

 

It's like real life. I could sit with a bunch of mates and we'd be savaging each other but if we were talking about our health (or anything else as serious), then we'd be really supportive of each other. It's wonderful. 

As I was typing, I remembered a saying I heard recently. Men say horrible things to each other but don't mean it. Women say nice things to each other but don't mean it.

[Amarillo Bairn]

Last week I said one of the reasons I enjoyed pie and Bovril was the lack of empathy.
The replies to [mention=57058]Amarillo Bairn[/mention] are absolutely superb and another reason that this message board is fantastic.
 

Yeah the response to my post have been great, and thank you to everyone who took time to reply or like a post
Just putting Saturday down to a blip and starting again.

[kingjoey]

1 hour ago, SlipperyP said:

This ones for @kingjoey

David Bowie.

Always said as Bow (as in bow to the king) ee, now they different Bow (archer and bow) ee.

What is correct, and can I add if it's not that I think, you can also f**k off.

I've always said Bow (as in bow to the king), but it is generally Bow (as in bow and arrow). The Man Himself said that he had no preference. 

[SlipperyP]

24 minutes ago, kingjoey said:

I've always said Bow (as in bow to the king), but it is generally Bow (as in bow and arrow). The Man Himself said that he had no preference. 

So (so) you're sitting on the fence.4

It's fucking Bow

[kingjoey]

6 minutes ago, SlipperyP said:

So (so) you're sitting on the fence.4

It's fucking Bow

I'm sitting on no fence. Told you as it is. 

[Zen Archer (Raconteur)]

2 hours ago, SlipperyP said:

This ones for @kingjoey

David Bowie.

Always said as Bow (as in bow to the king) ee, now they different Bow (archer and bow) ee.

What is correct, and can I add if it's not that I think, you can also f**k off.

It's pronounced Jones.

[SlipperyP]

5 minutes ago, Zen Archer (Raconteur) said:

It's pronounced Jones.

You;re an arsehole.

[Raidernation]

14 hours ago, TxRover said:

AA is the bane of many, found this after a quick lookie…

https://www.addiction.org.uk/alternatives-to-alcoholics-anonymous/
 

and this:

https://www.uk-rehab.com/treatment-rehab/therapy/five-alternatives-to-12-step-meetings/
 

Can’t testify on any of it, but in my previous job I worked with a number of heavy drinkers who had to find ways to control their behavior and almost every one was able to find a group that filled their needs without them having to hold their noses. It’s a shit problem, and often seems there’s no good options, but there are ways. Glad to hear you finally found a way!

this time, AA is actually working for me. But don't worry I'm no evangelist, I hated it for years, it's more the people than the organisation. I have almost no friends here, but have now made some very good sober friends through AA and that is what is keeping me going. Do I agree with 12 steps? Yes/No/Maybe but it has introduced me to people I like to hang out with that are sober and understand me.

 

 

[Richey Edwards]

3 hours ago, Amarillo Bairn said:

Yeah the response to my post have been great, and thank you to everyone who took time to reply or like a post
Just putting Saturday down to a blip and starting again.

Yeah, that's the right thing to do. It was a blip - learn from it and move forward. Show me an alcoholic that has never had a blip. We've all had them.

32 minutes ago, Raidernation said:

this time, AA is actually working for me. But don't worry I'm no evangelist, I hated it for years, it's more the people than the organisation. I have almost no friends here, but have now made some very good sober friends through AA and that is what is keeping me going. Do I agree with 12 steps? Yes/No/Maybe but it has introduced me to people I like to hang out with that are sober and understand me.

I never did the 12 steps, but I have made amends with people I had wronged in my own way.  I also learned about myself and what makes me tick. I did not need AA to do that.

I know I am what people in A.A. would consider a "dry drunk" because I am abstinent outside of A.A., but the "quality" of my sobriety is the best I have ever had. I would not change it.

A.A. works for some people and I'm glad it does. I am not one of them though - I found a way that works for me. I have stolen a few of their sayings though and still use them occasionally.

I am glad you find the social aspect of A.A. to be beneficial, because it can be very difficult to find sober company. Most of my leisure activities are solitary activities because the majority of people my age (early 30s) drink to socialise.