Dee Man Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 I bought a 'wireless sleep headset' from ebay the other week - it's basically just a headband with earphones built in to wear to bed to listen to whatever shit gets you to sleep. I purchased them for a very reasonable $14 (£7) but they started getting faulty after a few uses so I emailed them asking for a refund or an exchange and got the following reply... I don't know whether to be more offended by the appalling English or their attempt at offering me half my money back for an item that doesn't work. My ubertelt response should leave them with no doubt what I thought of their offer. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 Phone photos that start with a motion video for the first 0.1 of second. Needless. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartsOfficialMoaner Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 £7 for earphones. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 Liking songs that you don't like the lyrics to. For example, I shouldn't like the The Light by the Proclaimers because it's rammed with sky fairy p*sh, yet it's still a cracking song. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 3 hours ago, Dee Man said: I bought a 'wireless sleep headset' from ebay the other week - it's basically just a headband with earphones built in to wear to bed to listen to whatever shit gets you to sleep. I purchased them for a very reasonable $14 (£7) but they started getting faulty after a few uses so I emailed them asking for a refund or an exchange and got the following reply... I don't know whether to be more offended by the appalling English or their attempt at offering me half my money back for an item that doesn't work. My ubertelt response should leave them with no doubt what I thought of their offer. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest_Man#1 Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 One for @Rugster. Sitting having a shite at work and the cleaner tries the (blatantly locked) handle to get in. Then instead of fucking off for 5 mins, literally stands leaving against the door whilst I try to have a shite in peace. Just f**k off! 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 7 hours ago, Hedgecutter said: Liking songs that you don't like the lyrics to. For example, I shouldn't like the The Light by the Proclaimers because it's rammed with sky fairy p*sh, yet it's still a cracking song. Presumably you also don't like the sunshine on Leith being put there by the Chief? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmic Joe Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 The One Show. At first glance, it appears to be inclusive and diverse, but it rarely challenges any of the backward thinking that holds the UK back. Conveniently placed just after the tea-time news we get spoon-fed John Craven's Newsround for adults to make us feel good about ourselves. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 "The proof is in the pudding". No it fucking isn't. The proof of the pudding is in the eating, you tit. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theroadlesstravelled Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 3 minutes ago, Angusfifer said: The One Show. At first glance, it appears to be inclusive and diverse, but it rarely challenges any of the backward thinking that holds the UK back. Conveniently placed just after the tea-time news we get spoon-fed John Craven's Newsround for adults to make us feel good about ourselves. TV for the burds. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 7 hours ago, Honest_Man#1 said: One for @Rugster. Sitting having a shite at work and the cleaner tries the (blatantly locked) handle to get in. Then instead of fucking off for 5 mins, literally stands leaving against the door whilst I try to have a shite in peace. Just f**k off! EMBDY IN?!? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest_Man#1 Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 22 minutes ago, Rugster said: EMBDY IN?!? Then when it’s blatantly clear that people are in, genuinely standing directly outside waiting so that you have to awkwardly walk out passed them as they immediately swoop in after you. If I was in their shoes I’d rather give it a few mins before cleaning the toilet rather than bask in the post-shite cubicle. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 3 hours ago, Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo said: "The proof is in the pudding". No it fucking isn't. The proof of the pudding is in the eating, you tit. What if it's a rum Baba? Then the Proof is in the pudding. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 12 minutes ago, tamthebam said: What if it's a rum Baba? Then the Proof is in the pudding. Christ, I've not seen a Rum Baba for donkey's years. They were all the rage in the Eighties. Do any chain-type places still sell them? Fucking loved me a Rum Baba in the cafe at Woolworths when I was a bairn. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 2 minutes ago, BigFatTabbyDave said: Christ, I've not seen a Rum Baba for donkey's years. They were all the rage in the Eighties. Do any chain-type places still sell them? Fucking loved me a Rum Baba in the cafe at Woolworths when I was a bairn. Bonne Maman seem to do them so maybe bigger Tesco's or Sainsbury's. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 1 minute ago, tamthebam said: Bonne Maman seem to do them so maybe bigger Tesco's or Sainsbury's. Thanking you. Just remembered that I can't eat one at the moment anyway, so I'll stick with the rum part until I forget about them again 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 9 hours ago, Honest_Man#1 said: One for @Rugster. Sitting having a shite at work and the cleaner tries the (blatantly locked) handle to get in. Then instead of fucking off for 5 mins, literally stands leaving against the door whilst I try to have a shite in peace. Just f**k off! Cleaners at my work are a menace, right that’s it we are here nobody gets to use to toilets. All of them out of order at the same time. Canteen, yep that as well. We will also go against the one way system and growl or be passive aggressive to anyone who dares to walk around. oh HIYA no NO PROBLEEEEMMM Did overtime a while back and noticed they spent most of the shift in the canteen. Total fucking bampots who don’t do anything apart from the basics. A new lassie started during the start of covid, just came in did her job and kept out of everyone’s way. Toilets were gleaming, she did more than the three other wifies. Absolutely gutted to see the fatties return, or hear them. From experience, most cleaners are mental though so best to leave them alone. It’s so annoying though, the last two hours of your shift dictated to by people that don’t even work for the company. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 I'm always in awe of anyone who gets through the working day without putting a shift in. More power to them. Unless I'm having to do the work they're sacking off, of course. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 9 minutes ago, BigFatTabbyDave said: I'm always in awe of anyone who gets through the working day without putting a shift in. More power to them. Unless I'm having to do the work they're sacking off, of course. as they used to say in Soviet times "they pretend to pay me and I pretend to work" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
velo army Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 On 02/08/2020 at 10:49, MixuFruit said: Dunno if anyone ever comes across folk who do this but I have real issues with people who slip into character while telling you a story. As in 'I was in the shop and they had toilet rolls and then this person says to me (face changes, begin looking directly into my eyes) YOU CAN'T HAVE THOSE THE SIGN SAYS MAX TWO PER CUSTOMER (face goes back to normal) and then you wouldn't believe it they grabbed my wrist and went (face changes again, grabs my wrist) PUT THE EXTRA ONE BACK' OFTW behaviour. I bloody loved this extra detail. As one who goes all out when telling a story (especially when there's different accents involved) I couldn't disagree with you more here. Being a raconteur is a skill and having someone perform a one man play about the time they were refused service in a shop while presenting a cast of characters is joyous. I wonder if this is down to being from the eastern side of the central belt. Over in the west we're all budding cabaret performers. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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