pozbaird Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 Does anyone else (auld fart alert), remember the days when we had fun removing the cover from an old style golf ball? You then unravelled all the elastic stuff, to get to the gunk-filled rubber ball core. The fun we had stretching that elastic across the road, causing cyclists to shite themselves. These days, the lycra-clad cnuts would film it on helmet-mounted GoPro cameras and have us jailed. I miss those old golf balls. Kept us amused for hours. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 3 hours ago, tamthebam said: the best one is filling a bag with dug shite, setting fire to it, ringing the bell and waiting for the owner to stamp out the fire... This. Or going up a close, and tying the 2 doors on opposite sides of a landing together with rope, then chapping both doors. If you can't find any rope, then get a bunch of mates, wait for dusk, and line up on either side of a busy road, in tug of war formation, pretending you're stretching the non-rope across the road, seeing how many cars you can get to stop. Adolescent Dumbarton was an absolute hoot, I can tell you. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 7 hours ago, Dee Man said: If you think chickenellie is bad... "n*gger knock"? That must be what it's called in Ayr... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 8 hours ago, heedthebaa said: Woken at 7am with the doorbell, only to get up and nae c**t there Are you sure it wasn't your alarm clock? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A96 Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 9 hours ago, heedthebaa said: Woken at 7am with the doorbell, only to get up and nae c**t there Maybe it was Mr Doorbell trying to catch the two of you at it 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A96 Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 4 hours ago, deej said: Knocky Run Run FFS !! ....that sounds like something Nursie out of the early Blackadder series would call it. Anyway , I always thought it was something like Chicky Melly that it was called , but it looks like I was mishearing it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A96 Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 8 hours ago, Dee Man said: That sounds very middle class. I bet that's what Barry Homeowner called it. Or Enid Blyton 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 We caught a live eel once and posted it through a random letterbox. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unleash The Nade Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 Electric hand driers in toilets. The ones that give out as much blast as a gnats fart, and either switch off after a few seconds or when you move your hands 0.5mm in any direction 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heedthebaa Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 1 hour ago, Jacksgranda said: Are you sure it wasn't your alarm clock? Yes I’m sure, my money is on a complete and utter c**t, who was txtin me last night about a problem he has, he also knows I can hardly move after an operation last week, but is a big enough c**t not to care because he has a problem, the c**t what he is 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alert Mongoose Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 Ring, bang, scoot where I was. Anyway today's is reading a book to the bairn that is supposed to rhyme and clearly doesn't. Eventually realised if you say the words with a stupid English accent it's supposed to work. Just f**k off. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jumbo Muir Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 Does anyone else (auld fart alert), remember the days when we had fun removing the cover from an old style golf ball? You then unravelled all the elastic stuff, to get to the gunk-filled rubber ball core. The fun we had stretching that elastic across the road, causing cyclists to shite themselves. These days, the lycra-clad cnuts would film it on helmet-mounted GoPro cameras and have us jailed. I miss those old golf balls. Kept us amused for hours. [emoji3]Still have a very clear scar on the top of my left forefinger after the knife slipped when trying to incise a golf ball. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Rider Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 1 hour ago, Alert Mongoose said: Ring, bang, scoot where I was. Anyway today's is reading a book to the bairn that is supposed to rhyme and clearly doesn't. Eventually realised if you say the words with a stupid English accent it's supposed to work. Just f**k off. Door sounds like saw and all that shite? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GNU_Linux Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 Calling the Netherlands Holland 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alert Mongoose Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 1 hour ago, Big Rider said: Door sounds like saw and all that shite? Indeed. The book usually gets launched at that point. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 2 hours ago, GNU_Linux said: Calling the Netherlands Holland Jeffrey Netherlands was quite good in Hi-de-Hi.. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Todd_is_God Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 2 hours ago, GNU_Linux said: Calling the Netherlands Holland Maybe they are going to Holland 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 There were a couple of small yappy dugs in the Pub Quiz I was doing. Started loudly yapping during the music round and kept yapping. You'd think the owners might have taken them out to calm them down, but no... Anybody got a pet skunk I can borrow? "It's ok, he's just being friendly"... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 Just now, tamthebam said: There were a couple of small yappy dugs in the Pub Quiz I was doing. Did they beat you? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 1 minute ago, Zen Archer Esq. said: Did they beat you? aye. wee hairy brainy cnuts. but our team won the jackpot round so I got twenty two quid as part of the share. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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