Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 I was in there today. Could have been me!! You have been called many things on this forum but a mirror has to be a first. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 (edited) She is actually 5. I prefer them to have a wee bit of an arse. Chuck them in water without armbands. Then get them to use your erect penis as a floating aid. The semen will ensure they don't get swept away by the tide should you be in the sea. Edited March 16, 2014 by DA Baracus 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 Coming back from our night out in Glasgow last night, we were rather looking forward to our double cheeseburger at the 24hr McDonalds next to our hotel at the SECC. Imagine the rage when we weren't allowed in because of the pool of blood over the floor where there'd been a fight. We're still fuming. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinkerbelle Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 Sorry I spoilt your night but the Cnut deserved it. No b*****d takes the last yellow straw before me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FraserHFC Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 (edited) The two hour window I always seem to wake up in on a Sunday morning where there is absolutely nothing on the telly Edited March 16, 2014 by FraserHFC 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capybara Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 Those ads that take over channels when they are off air. Teleshoping lots of healthy sweaty people who look ridiculously fit. Follwed by nice shiny folk turning perfectly good veg into a green mush. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FraserHFC Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 The rubbish that pundits spout in the studio. That touchscreen table / monitor they use is pretty annoying as well. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 I bought a new printer a few weeks ago, an HP Photosmart, the title is sooooooooooooooo ironic. Could I print a photo from my laptop? nooooooooooooo Could I print a photo from my tablet? nooooooooooooo I had to print from my phone via the app, I am not fucking happy. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heedthebaa Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 Getting fucked over at the tills, useless cuntz what they are. Its no until you actually check your receipt that you realize you've been fucked over. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 Getting fucked over at the tills, useless cuntz what they are. Its no until you actually check your receipt that you realize you've been fucked over. Have you come into money? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamaldo Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 Have you come into money? Sounds like he's spent. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tamdunk Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 3 hrs to get from Glasgow to Dunde. IIt's as if there was some event on that had brought down all the teuchters in the land. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kev23 Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 O2 adding 86p per month to my contract. Seething 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz FFC Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 Has anyone else noticed the explosion in jakeballs who sound like utter morons trying to speak? They sound like normal people the 1st few seconds after they wake up early. I heard 1 jakeball yesterday and he sounded like talking was too much effort for him. It really gets under my skin. Just because your a fucked up waste of space, doesn't mean that basic things like speaking have to be hard. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smpar Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 (edited) A boy I used to be in school with used to go about in Celtic tops, and it soon changed to Pars tops and then he started going to Dunfermline games, pretending to be a Danny Dyer-type nutcase and had some illusion that he was some solid c**t that was a die-hard Pars fan. That wound me up enough, and I've just scrolled through Instagram to see that he went to the cup final today with his dad whom I assume is an Aberdeen fan himself. That might sound petty, but it gets worse. I'd accept if he just admitted he was there because his dad was going and it was a big day for the club etc, but I've just noticed that he's been posting pictures of the Aberdeen fans all day, saying how good they are and using ridiculous hashtags that suggest that he's remotely a Dons fan himself, like #standfree and #sheeponfire. What a complete fanny. Edited March 17, 2014 by smpar 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamamafegan Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 Doesn't sound that bad tbh, anyone who leaves the dark side to follow their local team is a guid c**t in my eyes. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz FFC Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 (edited) I know a guy who watches Man U and Real Madrid on tele and thinks he's a fan because of it. Nah mate. You are just a classic gloryhunter and waste of oxygen Edited March 17, 2014 by Gaz FFC 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~~~ Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 I know a guy who watches Man U and Real Madrid on tele and thinks he's a fan because of it. Nae mate. You are just a classic gloryhunter and waste of oxygen I don't think he can be labeled as a glory hunter watching Manchester United anymore 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smpar Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 Doesn't sound that bad tbh, anyone who leaves the dark side to follow their local team is a guid c**t in my eyes. That's true, I'd welcome anyone that wants to support their local side, especially Dunfermline, but he seems to be taking glory from Aberdeen winning the league cup and I really don't understand why you'd do that if you're supposed to be a Dunfermline fan. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capybara Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 Monday 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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