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Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...


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When millionaire celebrities/sportsmen do documentaries and go back to the place where they're originally from in their fancy sports cars and clothes and tell everybody how rough and violent the place is and how it's made them the person they are.

When it just looks like your average run of the mill scheme/street....

I've a sneaky feeling you've been watching the Wayne Rooney documentary!

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Not only are the road layouts fucking weird but it seems that the residents and frequent Aberdeen commuters are offered a lobotomy with their road tax judging by the impressive driving on show.

:( nae great, as my old foreman used to say.

ETA yes I know. I've shit the bed. Insomnia can kiss my hairy beanbag :(

Edited by Dee Dee
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When millionaire celebrities/sportsmen do documentaries and go back to the place where they're originally from in their fancy sports cars and clothes and tell everybody how rough and violent the place is and how it's made them the person they are.

When it just looks like your average run of the mill scheme/street....

Hi Mum is a dinnerlady! Oh the humanity.

Why doesn't he give her a weeks wage so she can retire?

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1. Walking into the toilets in a builder's merchants and standing in the pitch black waiting like a dick for the automatic light to come on until you realise you have to search for a switch in the pitch black.

2. Walking into the toilet's in different branches of said builder's merchants searching for a light switch in the pitch black until an automatic light comes on about 10 minutes later.

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1. Walking into the toilets in a builder's merchants and standing in the pitch black waiting like a dick for the automatic light to come on until you realise you have to search for a switch in the pitch black.

2. Walking into the toilet's in different branches of said builder's merchants searching for a light switch in the pitch black until an automatic light comes on about 10 minutes later.

Builders Merchant toilet fetish?

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This newish caring attitude at the end of plays or soaps where a voice says "If you've been affected by the events in tonight's programme call our counselling line or the Samaritans." Get a grip, it's fiction and if you're that easily upset don't watch it.

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This newish caring attitude at the end of plays or soaps where a voice says "If you've been affected by the events in tonight's programme call our counselling line or the Samaritans." Get a grip, it's fiction and if you're that easily upset don't watch it.

New ish?

I remember this shit from the 90s.

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I had 2 x Type 3's this morning, one sinking and one floating, what's that all about? Should I seek medical (or psychiatric) advice. Getting rid of floaters can be a b*****d.

Having IBS I can start off with Type 2, then Type 4, then Type 5 and then 3 or 4 Type 6's all in the one day. Especially if I've had late night fast food.

I once done 8 shites before football at 1pm one day. Damn Noodle Bar.

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Did one today I swear was a foot long and smelt like dog shit.

That can't be good.

I can mind after a weekend's hillwalking when younger I dropped a massive one in the loo next to the fish and chip shop in Braemar. Must have been about a foot long.

After I'd wiped and was about to leave I felt a rumble and thought "hang on, I'm not finished here" and then proceeded to do another one that was about a foot long as well.

Never been so ashamed proud in all my puff.

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I had 2 x Type 3's this morning, one sinking and one floating, what's that all about? Should I seek medical (or psychiatric) advice. Getting rid of floaters can be a b*****d.

Worse than anything...you don't notice that you've left some behind (no pun intended) after flushing early in the morning and the chick is next one in later that day. You could be a brain surgeon, but you're also the guy who can't flush away his crap successfully.

Happened to a mate.

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