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Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...


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I live in an old building with high ceilings (it's okay, I'm BS and I can afford it) so it's generally quite cool in the kitchen.

Not had one melting incident since the Summer of 2007 and my bread has been rip free since.

Are you posting from jail bobby? Is this an imaginary butter-based story that you tell yourself in order to maintain sanity?

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Nerves of steel.

Balls of brass.

Knob of butter.

Ratings these in order of literal unhelpfulness I'd have to say:

3. Balls of brass. Yes this would add more weight to the scrotum but I reckon you'd get used to it. Obviously you'd struggle to create sperm but as a father of two I can confidently say children are vastly overrated.

2. Knob of butter. This pretty much rules out a healthy sex life. You'd have to invent a mini fridge (unless you've got a cool kitchen like the one in bobby's imagination) and even then a minute or so in a living vagina (maybe necrophilia would be the way to go) your cock would melt.

1. Nerves of steel. I can't imagine the level of pain this would likely cause. I'm not exactly sure what nerves look like but I'm pretty certain they can't be replaced with a strong metal without some serious consequences.

Edited by pandarilla
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Ratings these in order of literal unhelpfulness I'd have to say:

3. Balls of brass. Yes this would add more weight to the scrotum but I reckon you'd get used to it. Obviously you'd struggle to create sperm but as a father of two I can confidently say children are vastly overrated.

2. Knob of butter. This pretty much rules out a healthy sex life. You'd have to invent a mini fridge (unless you've got a cool kitchen like the one in bobby's imagination) and even then a minute or so in a living vagina (maybe necrophilia would be the way to go) your cock would melt.

1. Nerves of steel. I can't imagine the level of pain this would likely cause. I'm not exactly sure what nerves look like but I'm pretty certain they can't be replaced with a strong metal without some serious consequences.

I found this fucking hilarious. Great post.

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Nobody else to blame but yourself if you watch that pish.

Don't say "the missus has got it on so I've got to watch it"...that's what they all say.

Close, playing Mario maker on the wiiu handset so the tv is on in background. What a load of pish

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