pandarilla Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 Take it out of the fridge 5-10 minutes before you use it and it will spread. Or just get some half decent technique. To destroy your bread you need to be a right clumsy b*****d. Slowly, slowly catchy monkey with lurpak. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 I don't keep butter in the fridge. #thuglife 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandarilla Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 Where do you keep your butter bobby? (perfect set-up for comedy response...) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gav-ffc Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 Rotten I had one last year. They can be sore. Try Corsodyl mouthwash in the meantime. I found that helped a bit. Emergency appointment tomorrow just awaiting the time. Look like the elephant man. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 Bobby keeps his butter in a butter dish in the cupboard along with a selection of preservatives to suit his toast and sandwich needs. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandarilla Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 Bobby keeps his butter in a butter dish in the cupboard along with a selection of preservatives to suit his toast and sandwich needs. Even in the summer bobby? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 Even in the summer bobby? I live in an old building with high ceilings (it's okay, I'm BS and I can afford it) so it's generally quite cool in the kitchen. Not had one melting incident since the Summer of 2007 and my bread has been rip free since. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Dee Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 Where do you keep your butter bobby? (perfect set-up for comedy response...) Nerves of steel. Balls of brass. Knob of butter. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandarilla Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 I live in an old building with high ceilings (it's okay, I'm BS and I can afford it) so it's generally quite cool in the kitchen. Not had one melting incident since the Summer of 2007 and my bread has been rip free since. Are you posting from jail bobby? Is this an imaginary butter-based story that you tell yourself in order to maintain sanity? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 Are you posting from jail bobby? Is this an imaginary butter-based story that you tell yourself in order to maintain sanity? Who the f**k do you think you're talking to? I'll come round in knock your head in with your rock hard butter. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandarilla Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 (edited) Nerves of steel. Balls of brass. Knob of butter. Ratings these in order of literal unhelpfulness I'd have to say:3. Balls of brass. Yes this would add more weight to the scrotum but I reckon you'd get used to it. Obviously you'd struggle to create sperm but as a father of two I can confidently say children are vastly overrated. 2. Knob of butter. This pretty much rules out a healthy sex life. You'd have to invent a mini fridge (unless you've got a cool kitchen like the one in bobby's imagination) and even then a minute or so in a living vagina (maybe necrophilia would be the way to go) your cock would melt. 1. Nerves of steel. I can't imagine the level of pain this would likely cause. I'm not exactly sure what nerves look like but I'm pretty certain they can't be replaced with a strong metal without some serious consequences. Edited September 27, 2015 by pandarilla 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandarilla Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 Who the f**k do you think you're talking to? I'll come round in knock your head in with your rock hard butter. I thought we'd already established that I'm a lurpak spreadable man. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boostin' Kev Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 Just heard Sunday Morning by Velvet Underground getting butchered on a tv advert. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest_Man#1 Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 Ratings these in order of literal unhelpfulness I'd have to say: 3. Balls of brass. Yes this would add more weight to the scrotum but I reckon you'd get used to it. Obviously you'd struggle to create sperm but as a father of two I can confidently say children are vastly overrated. 2. Knob of butter. This pretty much rules out a healthy sex life. You'd have to invent a mini fridge (unless you've got a cool kitchen like the one in bobby's imagination) and even then a minute or so in a living vagina (maybe necrophilia would be the way to go) your cock would melt. 1. Nerves of steel. I can't imagine the level of pain this would likely cause. I'm not exactly sure what nerves look like but I'm pretty certain they can't be replaced with a strong metal without some serious consequences. I found this fucking hilarious. Great post. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fae_the_'briggs Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 Opening a tin that hasn't got a label, hoping for peaches but getting spaghetti hoops. Serves me right for "shopping" in supermarket skips. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weirdcal Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 The x factor, murdering already crap.songs and making them worse 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 The x factor, murdering already crap.songs and making them worse Nobody else to blame but yourself if you watch that pish. Don't say "the missus has got it on so I've got to watch it"...that's what they all say. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KillieCon Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 Just heard Sunday Morning by Velvet Underground getting butchered on a tv advert. ^^^ Watched the x factor. Me too, but the missus had it on so I had to watch it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weirdcal Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 Nobody else to blame but yourself if you watch that pish. Don't say "the missus has got it on so I've got to watch it"...that's what they all say. Close, playing Mario maker on the wiiu handset so the tv is on in background. What a load of pish 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boostin' Kev Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 ^^^ Watched the x factor. Me too, but the missus had it on so I had to watch it. :lol:She did actually have it on, I'd just finished watching a game on my laptop. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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