DA Baracus Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 A sad update folks. Sadly the little bird has gone to birdie heaven. I've been told not to tell a couple of my colleagues for fear they get upset. It's a bloody bird FFS. I honestly don't know how some people manage to get through the day with all the tragic events in the world. You should 'accidentally' let it slip. Perhaps even take some pictures of you violently sodomizing the dead bird then anonymously distribute them around the office... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest_Man#1 Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Just a bad day, coming home to find the wee buggers had shit/pissed all over! One bad day and you're desperate to give them away?! Not really suited to having pets then? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMartyn86 Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 People in Aldi and Lidl who try packing their bags at the checkout. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Pain In The Fucking Arse Australian Emigration Update No.3267: We've already uploaded and sent our Police Scotland criminal record check which includes everything on the Police National Computer for the entire UK. Now they've decided that's not good enough and have asked for a UK Police Certificate but the Association of Police Officers website is shite and won't let you upload your passport, proof of address etc no matter what format you try, but of course you don't find that out until you've already spent an eternity filling in the previous sections, so we have to print the 17 page form off and physically post the fucking thing. Question 7 asks you for your criminal record!? WTF am I actually paying these c***s £45 per application for? Where's Gowser when you need him? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizfit Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Instead of Perth, Australia I'd move to Perth Scotland. It would be less hassle, and you can commute. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Instead of Perth, Australia I'd move to Perth Scotland. It would be less hassle, and you can commute. I would rather repeatedly stab myself in the testicles with a rusty screwdriver, but thanks for the thought all the same. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizfit Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 I can arrange for that too if you wish. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 I can arrange for that too if you wish. Thank you for your kind offer. I'll get back to you if these police f**k me about anymore. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Thank you for your kind offer. I'll get back to you if these police f**k me about anymore. Have you and your other half ever contemplated becoming boat people, it seems it would be less stressful and you get to be sailors. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 People in Aldi and Lidl who try packing their bags at the checkout. I assume they're newbies to the whole retro packing vibe that Lidl have going on. Anyone else mind the days when the routine at ALL supermarkets was that you put the shopping back in the trolley after it went through the register, took it over to the wee shelf on the wall, then did your packing there? ...waiting for Granny Danger to regale us with tales of shopping at Mr Tesco's farm by milking the cows and grinding the wheat 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Have you and your other half ever contemplated becoming boat people, it seems it would be less stressful and you get to be sailors. It's a pirate's life for Dee! (man) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Have you and your other half ever contemplated becoming boat people, it seems it would be less stressful and you get to be sailors. If we'd gone there as refugees when we started the process we'd have been granted asylum by now on the basis that if I returned home that mizfit would have me stabbed in the testicles. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calum_gers Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 If we'd gone there as refugees when we started the process we'd have been granted asylum by now on the basis that if I returned home that mizfit would have me stabbed in the testicles. Or you'd have drowned in a boat off Christmas Island. Win-win I guess. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Raccoon Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 I assume they're newbies to the whole retro packing vibe that Lidl have going on. Anyone else mind the days when the routine at ALL supermarkets was that you put the shopping back in the trolley after it went through the register, took it over to the wee shelf on the wall, then did your packing there? ...waiting for Granny Danger to regale us with tales of shopping at Mr Tesco's farm by milking the cows and grinding the wheat I mind as a child going to FineFare with the parental and there were empty boxes for your shopping. We'd drive home in my dad's VW Scirocco and I'd smoke Silk Cut in the back. Halcyon days. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 A sad update folks. Sadly the little bird has gone to birdie heaven. I've been told not to tell a couple of my colleagues for fear they get upset. It's a bloody bird FFS. I honestly don't know how some people manage to get through the day with all the tragic events in the world. Minutes silence, card and a collection? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 (edited) Have you and your other half ever contemplated becoming boat people, it seems it would be less stressful and you get to be sailors.I would strongly recommend you do not do this. You'll spend the rest of your days in a detention centre on some island absolutely seething and on the verge of tears. Edited April 30, 2015 by Swarley 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Barclays Digital Eagles adverts 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Heavy rain again today so the fog lights are in. Thundercunts. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlipperyP Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 I mind as a child going to FineFare with the parental and there were empty boxes for your shopping. We'd drive home in my dad's VW Scirocco and I'd smoke Silk Cut in the back. Halcyon days. This is exactly what I remember, but I was too young to smoke, so my dad use spark up a hamlet cigar in our mini clubman (windows shut), marvelous. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlipperyP Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 I would strongly recommend you do not do this. You'll spend the rest of your days in a detention centre on some island absolutely seething and on the verge of tears. What's the weather like on these islands? Ups & downs wherever you go. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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