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Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...


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Haven't posted on this hread before so I have a few.

When you're walking behind a very slow person and they don't have the fucking manners to let you passed them despite knowing that you're obviously in a hurry/wanting to walk faster than a fucking snail.

When you see someone at the other side of a door as you approach it, so you open it for them and step aside to let them through. After having the manners and patience to let them through, another fucking 25 people come crawling through, and not one of them has the common sense to see that you've been standing there like a spesh for ages.

When you're talking to someone and someone else feels the need to say your name 12 times before you politely tell them to f**k off and then take offence.

The OF, they're both petty and they both get on my nerves.

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Groom speeches. I'm shitting my self now.

Adam, help!!!!

I wrote mine the day before the wedding. It was pretty easy.

My best man (who was married two years ago) said that out of writing the groom's speech and his best man's speech, the groom's speech was a piece of cake.

It's fairly straightforward - remember and thank the wife's parents, your own family, ushers / bridesmaids and best man, crack a couple of jokes and thank everyone for attending.

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Near anorexic girls saying they are fat...

Anorexia isn't automatically an indicator of weight (although for obvious reasons low weight generally follows.) It's a mental condition.

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Anorexia isn't automatically an indicator of weight (although for obvious reasons low weight generally follows.) It's a mental condition.

You're not kidding! I genuinely knew a girl who ate toilet paper to fill herself up, when she was dieting for her wedding. She discussed it as if it was a legitimate diet plan. She wasn't happy when I asked if she had a self cleaning arse.

Edited by Sergeant Wilson
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I've heard of people eating toilet paper before - from people with various eating disorders, not just anorexia. One hypothesis is that it's part of the "pica" condition of a craving for eating non-foodstuffs, and it kind of got sucked into the anorexia subculture (which does exist, and is as frightening as it sounds) due to its having little to no calorific value, being easy to keep down, and not being something you'd ever really be tempted by.

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Just go for it on the day, i had one written but by the time the speeches were away to happen i just forgot about it and went for it.

Was this between frames or did you wait until everyone had got their own shoes back?

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I've heard of people eating toilet paper before - from people with various eating disorders, not just anorexia. One hypothesis is that it's part of the "pica" condition of a craving for eating non-foodstuffs, and it kind of got sucked into the anorexia subculture (which does exist, and is as frightening as it sounds) due to its having little to no calorific value, being easy to keep down, and not being something you'd ever really be tempted by.

Apparently it expands and makes you feel full before it disolves. She used to do it at work with the cheap stuff in the lavvies there, but preferred to eat the qulted stuff at home.

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Groom speeches. I'm shitting my self now.

Adam, help!!!!

Basically as Gaz said, it's a piece of cake compared to what the best man has to do. I met my best man for a pint about a week before I got married and he was talking about the amount of time and effort that he had put into his. Mine literally took me about an hour to write.

Mention how beautiful your wife looks, thanks for coming, hand out flowers (if you're doing that), couple of little jokes, a minute or so describing how lucky you are to have a wonderful woman in your life and I finished with a bit of an embarrassing story about my best man as I wanted him to be nervous before tearing me a new arsehole in his speech.

Try not to make it last anymore than five minutes I would say, that's the max I would go for.

Enjoy the day, don't let the little things get to you. And if you're wearing new shoes, remember to peel the labels off the bottom of them. :ph34r:

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