Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...

[HGG]

My girlfriend knows about p&b. If she signs up I will kill myself

She might just kill you herself

I was going to say exactly that just now, but it appears she won't need to if Keith gets there first:-

I can take care of that for you

Why do you think Monster doesn't post here anymore?

People who text you at 8am. Who know fine well you use your phone as an alarm clock.

If I set the alarm on my mobile and then turn the handset off the alarm still goes off at the right time. Just a thought.

I was out shopping for baby clothes with my girlfriend to give as presents to The Wees, and I get the bad feeling it was giving her ideas!

It won't matter anyway. A dead man will not be expected to see to the baby.

It's like a cattle market in tesco in Perth.

There was a whole discussion on a local radio station tonight where people were texting in saying how long they'd been stuck in queues waiting to get out of car parks. Some woman had been waiting over an hour to get out of the Trafford Centre while some other poor sod had been sat in Tesco's car park barely moving towards the exit for two hours! They had their kids in the car too! I was so glad I didn't take my children shopping this afternoon and even more so that I didn't brave it to Trafford today!

Cricket is still alive, not amused!

It probably isn't amused because it's stuck under the floorboards wanting to get out.

The traffic in Glasgow city center today Fucking more buses than you could wave a stick at.

You go round waving sticks at buses these days?

[RH33]

The baby has slept through the night Shame I've been up since 5am.

[saints1884]

I was going to say exactly that just now, but it appears she won't need to if Keith gets there first:-

If I set the alarm on my mobile and then turn the handset off the alarm still goes off at the right time. Just a thought.

It won't matter anyway. A dead man will not be expected to see to the baby.

There was a whole discussion on a local radio station tonight where people were texting in saying how long they'd been stuck in queues waiting to get out of car parks. Some woman had been waiting over an hour to get out of the Trafford Centre while some other poor sod had been sat in Tesco's car park barely moving towards the exit for two hours! They had their kids in the car too! I was so glad I didn't take my children shopping this afternoon and even more so that I didn't brave it to Trafford today!

It probably isn't amused because it's stuck under the floorboards wanting to get out.

You go round waving sticks at buses these days?

I have been to the Trafford centre,and to be honest it's just like any other shopping centre. Though did like the fountain they have there.

[Ad Lib]

I have been to the Trafford centre,and to be honest it's just like any other shopping centre. Though did like the fountain they have there.

Trafford Centre is great. We went there on our way back from Germany.

[saints1884]

Trafford Centre is great. We went there on our way back from Germany.

There nothing spectacular,much of a muchness.

[armchair footsoldier]

yesterday I fell over and smacked my face on the pavement. I think I also may have broken my right pinky.

[Andy Dufresne]

I have a drum kit to build tonight

[stimpy]

When i was getting out of the works van at dinnertime today i battered my kneecap off the edge of the sliding door. It hurt so much i thought i was going to vomit in the high street, i limped up to see my wife and the pain eased but now I've got a huge lump on my knee and it bloody hurts, well a little bit anyway.

[Guest The Phoenix]

I have a drum kit to build tonight

I think you should have started last week ..................

DRUM SET ASSEMBLY

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Digest all the "drum tuning" material first, because you may want to tune as you go, especially as you put the Bass Drum together. Your drums may arrive completely dis-combobulated in one or more boxes . . . Take everything out of the box or boxes and lay the pieces out on the floor, prior to assembly.

START WITH THE BASS DRUM:

1. The bass drum shell is probably the biggest item in the biggest box. Take it out of the box and pull the protective plastic covering off, if there is any. 2. Take a long look! Do you know the front from the back? Don't laugh! There is a difference! Lets call the 'back', the part your pedal will beat on. The front then will be on the opposite side. You can tell the front from the back by finding the where the 'spurs' will go. Look for two holes at the base of the shell. The Spurs are the two legs that keep the drum from sliding when it is struck from behind. So, the spurs go in front and make contact with the floor or carpet. These two 'spurs' will help stabilize the bass drum and keep it from rolling from right to left, too. 3. Look for the spurs in all your neatly arranged pieces and parts. They will look like short legs made of chrome. Normally they may be anywhere from 4" to 15" in length. The spurs, once you find them, usually just slide into a mount of some sort on the front of the bass drum at the base of the shell like i said earlier. They are designed to protrude from inside the drum and will be adjustable to the length needed for stabilization and grip with the floor or carpet. The 'spurs' are usually held in place with some type of screw device or wing nut. Not all drums are designed the same, so you will just have to figure out how they attach to your specific drum set, then adjust them so that they do their job adequately. Now we are ready to assemble the back bass drum head.

PUT THE BACK HEAD ON FIRST:

1. Look through and find two of the largest drum heads that came in the largest box. If they both look exactly the same then it doesn't matter which goes where. However, if one of the bass heads has a round hole cut in it, that will mean it should go on the front. You will be installing the back head first, so be sure you have the right one. If only one head has manufacturers logo on it, that will be the front head. Usually both will have a logo. 2. Now, determine where the top of the bass drum is. You will know the top by finding a special chrome tom-tom mounting assembly. Place the bass drum head over the rim of the bass drum shell as the drum lays face down, front to the floor. Slide or adjust the head so that the logo (if there is any) looks right. Usually the Logo (ie; Pearl, Remo, Ludwig, Argent etc.) goes at the top and is centered with the tom mount assembly. You can simply eyeball it and get it right. The point here is that you don't want people to have to stand on their head to read the logo, upside down and backwards. If it looks right, it probably is!

SEATING THE HEAD:

The ring of the drum head should fit snuggly over the lip of the bass drum shell (if you have the correct drum head size.) You may need to press it into place with your fingers. It is usually a perfect (but very snug) fit, if all is well. Be sure the head is all the way onto the drum, (down as far as it will go) by pushing with your fingers and hands. Now it is starting to look like a bass drum! :>) Is the logo on the head straight? Will it look correct when the drum is upright, in the playing position? Center it by eyeballing the tom mount apparatus. OK . . . you are now ready to mount the head to the drum with the hoop and lug screws (or tension rods.)

MOUNTING THE DRUM HEAD:

Look through all those pieces and parts again for two very large hoops of chrome. They will look something like hula hoops and will be nearly the same diameter as the bass drum. Lay either hoop onto the head as the drum is laying front to the floor. Press down lightly all around the hoop. Use it to help seat the drum head a bit more. Look for screw holes in the hoop. Line those holes with the lugs on the shell of the bass drum. The chrome lugs will each have a threaded 'female' screw assembly that will accept the long rods or lug screws. These lug screws fasten the hoop over the head and the shell of the drum. By screwing them down evenly, we can pull the head tighter and tighter. This helps achieve the tones we want when tuning the drum. The tighter the drum head, the higher the pitch. Nearly all drums are based on this same principle.

FIND THE BASS DRUM LUG SCREWS (tension rods:)

Look for 6 or 8 (maybe 10) long screws. They may be 4" to 10" long and usually will have a wing-nut type of apparatus on one end and will be threaded on the other. Glide the lug screws through the holes in the hoop, then into the 'female' screw assembly of the lugs. Go all the way around the back drum head doing this. Pull each lug screw down to about the same tightness and try to keep all the lug screws at about the same tension as you go. The drum tones will get higher and higher as you apply more tension to each of the tension rods or lug screws. It is best to assemble in a criss-cross fashion so that the head will seat evenly all around the drum as you tighten each screw. You may hear some crackling and popping as the tension increases with each turn of a screw. This is normal as the plastic drum heads stretch to conform with the drum. Don't pull the head too tight though! This is a bass drum and you probably won't want it to be 'pitched' all that high in tone. About medium to loose tension is best. Tighten to a point where there are no wrinkles in the head, then stop.

ASSEMBLING THE FRONT HEAD:

Wait! Leave the front head off until later! You may want to add some packing inside the bass to help achieve the tone your ear will be wanting to hear. Bass drums are all very 'boingy' sounding without some sort of packing inside. Most drummers will place an old pillow, maybe a blanket or two inside the drum permanently to get just the right 'poof' sound that they want. You will do best to experiment with this idea until you get the drum just like you want it. OK. flip the drum into the upright playing position. We are ready to add the toms.

MOUNTING THE TOM TOMS:

Now, its back to the pieces and parts pile! Look for the tom tom mounting post. There may be two separate posts, (one for the right tom and another for the left.) It depends on the brand of drums you have. Insert the post (or posts) into the hole (or holes) on top of the bass drum. Find a screwing device (usually a large wing-nut) and secure the posts in place. If there is any kind of logo stamped on the post it will face outward, towards the potential crowd. The posts are designed to be adjusted to the height and arm-length of the player. You will need to experiment until the best height for you is found. Also, the arms that hold the toms are usually adjustable many ways. This is another thing that needs experimentation. Every drummer tends to want everything just so-so, his/her on personal way.

PUT THE TOMS TOGETHER:

The different toms go together about the same way the bass drum went together. Go ahead and put both heads on each drum. They will probably sound somewhat 'boingy' if left unmuffled. 'Dead Ringers' or 'Sound Ovals' are the best remedy for that problem. Ask for a demonstration of 'Sound Ovals' at your local music store, the next time you go in. You can easily add them later if you want and need them. My bet is . . . you probably will. Common sense prevails here. As you assemble the different toms, notice the lug screw lengths. Larger toms use longer screws and versey vicey. Be sure you have the correct lug screws going to the correct toms or this thing will get humorous real quick, haha.

Look for a drum key . . . somewhere in all that mess of pieces and parts. It will probably be a 'T' shaped tool that works very much like an old-time skate key. It is a wrench, you will use to tighten the lug screws of each drum to be assembled and tuned.

Tune as you go (see the tuning lesson.) You want the smallest toms to have the highest pitch and the largest toms to have the lowest pitch in progressive order around the kit. The tones you choose are arbitrary . . . it is up to the drummer! There is no standard tuning for drummers. We all tend to know what we want to hear, then we proceed to pull that tone from the drum. Again, the tuning lesson may help you here.

You will want to mount the smallest tom on the left side of the kit as you sit behind the set. The larger sized toms progress around to the right, with the Floor Tom around on your far right hand side sitting on the floor.

Just slip the toms onto the mounting arms of the post and secure them with the provided (large) wing-nuts or whatever.

FLOOR TOM TOM:

Most Floor Toms have three legs that mount through a chrome mounting device on the sides of the drum shell. Just slip the legs through the leg holders and tighten them into place with the wing nuts provided.

BASS PEDAL:

All Bass Drum pedals are a little different but most operate on the same principle. Usually, there will be a tongue in groove type clamp, that bites into the hoop of the bass drum as it sits on the floor in the playing position. Just slip the pedal up to the hoop and look for a way to attach it firmly to the drum so that it won't fall away as it is being used. It is pretty much a common sense thing.

STANDS:

There are millions of stand designs. It is hard for me to second guess what you may have. All stands are designed to be totally collapsible for easy mobility. There will be several stands in every drum kit.

SNARE STAND:

The snare stand will be the only stand in the bunch that even looks capable of holding a snare drum. You should see a stand with three adjustable arms that spread open wide enough for the snare to be laid in place. Then, somewhere on the stand there will be an adjustment device that will allow you to tighten the arms into the drum and hold it securely.

CYMBAL STANDS:

They come in all shapes an sizes . . . some with boom arms, others may be straight. All are always totally collapsible and telescoping with adjustment screws everywhere. Usually each stand is packaged with all its parts in tact. It is just a matter of common sense to get all the adjustments right for the person who will be playing the drums. Use your own judgement here.

HI-HAT STAND:

Again, there are hundreds of designs. Spread the tri-pod legs first . . . then attach the foot pedal to the base of the stand according to your own intuition. Adjust the height of the stand intuitively according to the size and stature of the player. At the top of the hi-hat stand you will see a hole running full length of the stand all the way through the tube (or shaft) to the base of the stand. There will be a long rod that goes through the shaft (or tube) and attaches (some way) to the pedal. The idea is that as you press the pedal the rod will move up and down, making two cymbals clap together at the top of the stand.

Now for the Cymbals . . .

The BOTTOM HI-HAT CYMBAL will cup upwards and lay on a cushion, usually made of felt. You don't want metal to metal anywhere. It will effect the tone. The cymbal will have a hole in the center. Drop it down over the rod that comes up from the floor through the shaft. Be sure the cymbal is cupping upwards. Also, the heaviest of the two hi-hat cymbals should (usually) be used as the bottom cymbal.

The TOP HI-HAT CYMBAL is usually the thinner of the two and it will be set to cup downward into the bottom cymbal. A HI-HAT CLUTCH is used to secure the top cymbal onto the rod that comes up from the floor. The HI-HAT CLUTCH is normally an assortment of washer-nuts, (they look like washers but are usually threaded inside the center hole), felt cushions and maybe a wing-nut. IT IS VERY HARD TO DESCRIBE IN WORDS! Anyway the top cymbal needs to be sandwiched between felt cushions and washer-nuts in such a way that it will hold the top cymbal securely onto the rod coming from the base of the hi-hat by use of the wing nut. The idea here again is that there should never be metal to metal. Felt cushions are used to protect the cymbal from the metal washer-nuts.

That's it! You are about ready to jam! We left the front bass head off on purpose, remember? Grab a couple pillows, a blanket or something and toss them inside the bass, up against the batter head. Now play awhile! How does everything sound? If you like the way the bass is sounding then go ahead and put the front head on, leave the packing as it is. Mom will be frantic looking for those pillows and blankets! Just keep a straight face and don't say a word, haha. She'll never know! Just kidding!!!! Don't do that! If your bass tone isn't quite right though, keep experimenting with different amounts of packing until you are satisfied.

SNARE RATTLE!!!!!

Yep! it goes with the gig, haha! And it is hard to remedy! A good snare rattles because it is sensitive! It is a part of the design. The 'snares' or wires under the snare drum are intended to vibrate and help produce that tone we all want. The trouble is, almost any vibration in the room will set them to singing and rattling. If we tape or tie them down, then much of our snappy tone may be lost in the trade off.

SIMI-SOLUTIONS:

About all we can do is shoot for a compromise! * Pull the 'snares' as tight as you dare, using the straining device on the side of your snare drum. * Be sure that no two drum rims are touching. I always like my toms VERY close, but there should be at least a 1/2" inch gap between each drum. Otherwise, when you hit one drum . . . the other will likely vibrate and rattle. This is especially true if the snare rim is touching the hi-tom rim. * Sound Ovals: I mentioned this earlier. These are thin mylar ovals designed to be laid on top of the batter head of each drum. They do very well at killing the overtones and excess ringing that occurs with all unmuffled drums. You need to see a demonstration of how they work. Go harass your local music store! They need the money! Tell them you would like to see how Sound Ovals work before you buy them. Try them out on a demo set at the store. You'll drop about $15.00 to $22.00 going around your kit with 'Sound Ovals' but it may be the best tuning investment you will ever make. Anyway, 'Sound Ovals' will do a lot towards controlling all the unwanted vibrations and overtones. This will help to cut back on snare rattle tremendously. OK! You are all set up! Go get 'em!

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DRUM SET TUNING

______________________________________

I contend that even the cheapest drums may be tuned to your satisfaction. The secret is in knowing how to get the sound that you want. When tuning a drumset, you must know what tones you are looking for and how to pull those tones from each drum. I have assembled the following pointers to help you do just that.

Look closely at your snare drum and try to decide exactly what factors most effect the tonal quality. Notice the 'square headed screws' around the top and bottom rims of the Drum. We call these ‘tension rods' or 'lugs'. We may tighten or loosen these screws with a tool called a 'drum key. A drum key can be purchased at any music store for a dollar or two. Adjustments to the tension rods with a drum key will effect the tension on the Drumhead. A tight Drumhead will produce more bounce for the Drumsticks and a higher pitch, whereas less tension on the head will produce the opposite. A little experimentation will help you decide which you personally prefer.

Be cautious when adjusting the lugs around any drumhead so as not to warp either the drumhead or the rim. Do not over-tighten one screw while leaving another very loose. It is best to tighten the lugs in a diagonal crisscross pattern around the head. Cautiously turn each tension screw an equal number of turns until you have achieved the desired tension.

Now turn your snare drum over and look at the strands of wire underneath. We call these wires ‘snares'. The ‘snares' produce the ‘snap' sound and give the ‘snare' drum its name. Without these ‘snares' your drum will sound like a tom tom. The snare wires are usually connected on one side of the drum with a screw apparatus and a flip lever. The flip lever on most drums is usually designed to release the snares quickly, so that a tom effect can be an tonal option. The screw apparatus called the ‘strainer' may be tightened to place the desired amount of tension on the snares. This will require some experimentation before you will discover the exact tone you prefer. After tuning both heads and adjusting the Strainer you may find that your Snare Drum still emits undesirable 'ring' or 'overtone' when struck a glancing blow with a drumstick. Too much vibration in the 'batter' (top) head will often cause this overtone, and some type of muffling device may be necessary. A drum muffler is simply a screw device that places a felt pad against the batter head inside the drum. The muffler is usually equipped with a flip lever or turn screw that allows for easy external adjustment. Most snare drums come from the factory with a muffler installed, but almost any music store will install one for twenty or thirty dollars (per drum). Again it is up to you to decide whether you like your drum with or without a muffler.

If you are still dissatisfied with your tone at this point, you should look at the batter head (top). Batter heads are manufactured at varied thicknesses or weights ranging from thin to thick. Thin heads are designed for very light, snappy, crisp tonal qualities but have a tendency to break under heavy use. Thick drumheads will withstand a great deal of punishment but some tonal quality will be sacrificed. The choice is yours.

Tuning the Toms Now that you have your snare drum tuned to perfection, we will tune the remainder of the set. Begin with the smallest tom . . .it will often be situated directly next to and a little above or even flush with the Snare. This should be your highest pitched tom since it is the smallest. The larger toms should be graduated in both tone and size in clockwise fashion, around you. When tuning your toms, try first to imagine all the tones you want. Then seek to achieve those tones. Remember that tight heads produce higher tones and loose heads produce lower ones. You may wish to experiment with combinations of tight top heads, loose bottoms for one effect or vice versa for the opposite. Some drummers choose to eliminate the bottom tom heads completely. Search for the sound that you like. Drum mufflers will help eliminate any undesirable ‘ring' or 'overtones' in your toms. Many high tech solutions to tom tone have appeared on the market in recent years. Experiment with some of the following options: 1. Black Dot: This is a tom head designed with a double thickness of head material in the center of the drum. The double thickness tends to eliminate some 'overtones' and enhance the life of the head. 2. Pinstripe: Pinstripe heads have a double thickness of head material around the outer perimeter of the drum where most overtones occur. I prefer this type of head. 3. Hydraulic: Hydraulic heads involve the sandwiching of an oily substance between two thicknesses of head material. Many drummers swear by them. The overtones are greatly reduced and the heads are very durable. My opinion is that they do not project very well in a large room. The tone tends to fall flat a short distance from the drum. Microphones can solve that problem though.

BASS DRUM If you like your bass drum loud and ringing, that is easy! Simply tighten both heads down and do not try to muffle them. We may get a solid "thud" effect in the following ways:

1. Place a 6" x 26" piece of cloth (felt is suggested) between the drumhead and shell of your bass all the way across the drum. You may even choose to cover the entire circular area with thin cloth. Remove the drum rim and head, place the cloth over the hole, then replace the head and rim and pull them to the desired tension. Finally, trim away the ragged edges of cloth. 2. Many drummers prefer to eliminate the front head and rim entirely and place different articles of padding inside the Drum (pillows, foam rubber, etc.) until the desired muffle has been achieved.

TIP : Place a small patch of duct tape at the point where the Bass Drum Beater Ball contacts the head. This will have little effect on the tone but will inhibit wear on the head, prolong its life and save money.

If you are still dissatisfied with your tone at this point, check around and listen to other drummers until you find one who has the sound that you like. Then ask him how he gets it. That is precisely the way I acquired these few tricks that I am sharing with you now! Good luck!

Good luck!! - It really does say that.

[Reina]

I can put a drum kit together in seconds. I'm a useful person to know!

[saints1884]

A link would have been better than copy & pasting all that shite.

[theentomologist]

"drum tuning"

unless he is going to play them properly (where I assume some tuition might be involved when tutor can tune then) or join a popular beat combo, I suspect he might get away with not doing that for tomorrow at least.

that was a cracking post though, well done.

edit: in other matters how survives the cricket one?

kill it!

Edited December 24, 2008 by theentomologist

[Guest The Phoenix]

A link would have been better than copy & pasting all that shite.

Got the painters in?

[saints1884]

Got the painters in?

No. It's just that I don't want to be scrolling down trying to get to the end of a long post to read other posts,if that's ok with you.

[Guest The Phoenix]

No. It's just that I don't want to be scrolling down trying to get to the end of a long post to read other posts,if that's ok with you.

Fine by me but the point I was making would have been a bit lost if I'd only posted the link - as spotted by theentomologist.

Merry Christmas, anyway.

[LiviClyde]

I can put a drum kit together in seconds. I'm a useful person to know!

Where were you when I was gigging all these years ago?

Oh, wait a minute, probably not even born................................................ !

[Reina]

Sorry about that, LC. I used to play in a brass band and my best pal played percussion, so I used to help her set the drum kit up.

[saints1884]

Fine by me but the point I was making would have been a bit lost if I'd only posted the link - as spotted by theentomologist.

Merry Christmas, anyway.

Long posts are bad for me as the way the keyboard and mouse is,it's on a shelve and it's quite high when I am sitting in an armchair,so it's hard to scroll down and I have to put the keyboard on my lap when I reply.(i am a short person to)

Merry Christmas to you and your family to.

[Guest The Phoenix]

Long posts are bad for me as the way the keyboard and mouse is,it's on a shelve and it's quite high when I am sitting in an armchair,so it's hard to scroll down and I have to put the keyboard on my lap when I reply.(i am a short person to)

Merry Christmas to you and your family to.

(We're really on the wrong thread now. )

[saints1884]

(We're really on the wrong thread now. )

I'll say no more.