Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...

[RH33]

My grandad has been in hospital for 2 weeks, and is very poorly. I left work at ten to go and see him as i was convinced he was going to go today, i sat with him till 6 pm. He's still hanging in there but the doctors and nurses have said he doesnt have long left, i've got a gut feeling he will go tonight, i am in fuckin bits at the moment.

My uncle and I three times made the dash up the A9 as we thought my Granny was on her way out. First time we pulled over at Ibrox to say goodbye on the phone. She lasted another 2.5 years which was long enough for her to see me get married

Hope your Grandad is Ok Neilly.

When my girl was pregnant with Coley the nurses and midwives were more or less guilt tripping her into breast feeding. I resented them a lot for that. We were also told that the kid could grow up obese and a bit slower if not breastfed.

Cole has been bottlefed from week one, counts up to ten and strings coherent sentences together. He can also distinguish plurals, all at 2 years, 2 months.

There may well be health benefits to breast feeding mothers but I'd love to see the evidence concerning bottle feeding making kids a bit slower.

I've only got 4 weeks or so to go and I have had NO information about feeding at all other than what I have read. However I have already been diagnosed with sever post natal depression Midwives (sorry Ayrgirl not you) in my experience have been useless.

Who are these people?

Family (not my mum she fed both me and my sister)

Inlaws

Friends (with and without kids)

I've discovered that everyone has an opinion on everything to do with bringing up my baby. The fact that I want to use real nappies, breastfeed and have it in it's own room from day 1 causes shock and horror. But at end of day it's my baby and I've started ignoring others opinions of what I should be doing.

I think society isn't geared to breastfeeding and that is why so many woman are put off it. I'm lucky in that my husband is very supportive of my decision and if any of my friends are uncomfortable then I'll simply ask to use one of the bedrooms in their house to feed.

[Ebanda's Handyman Services]

I've discovered that everyone has an opinion on everything to do with bringing up my baby. The fact that I want to use real nappies, breastfeed and have it in it's own room from day 1 causes shock and horror. But at end of day it's my baby and I've started ignoring others opinions of what I should be doing.

I think society isn't geared to breastfeeding and that is why so many woman are put off it. I'm lucky in that my husband is very supportive of my decision and if any of my friends are uncomfortable then I'll simply ask to use one of the bedrooms in their house to feed.

Just do what you feel comfortable with Rowan and treat folk that try to tell you how to raise your own child with the contempt they deserve.

We had Cole in our room until he was 8 months and he was under constant supervision mainly because he was in the neo natal ward for a week with a shadow on his lungs. That instilled a paranoia that still lives with me yet about his breathing even though he runs everywhere now and it's plain to see that the problems he had in his first week are long gone.

We regularly put Isla in the room by herself for a wee sleep and some peace and she is a better sleeper than Cole was because of that.

[Whistle Blower]

I've discovered that everyone has an opinion on everything to do with bringing up my baby. The fact that I want to use real nappies, breastfeed and have it in it's own room from day 1 causes shock and horror. But at end of day it's my baby and I've started ignoring others opinions of what I should be doing.

I think society isn't geared to breastfeeding and that is why so many woman are put off it. I'm lucky in that my husband is very supportive of my decision and if any of my friends are uncomfortable then I'll simply ask to use one of the bedrooms in their house to feed.

Well said, it is your kid so do what you want. Mrs WB stopped breast feeding at 6 weeks, Cameron is now 9 months, 24 lbs and 2 foot 6 tall, and feeds himself his teas, so it can't all be bad.

My PTTGOYN, is my job interview yesterday, went well but there was no interest in me as a person, more interested in my experience and qualifications. Made me wonder if it really is a company I want to work for, and senior waste management consultant does sound a bit wanky.

Edited September 11, 2008 by Whistle Blower

[Ayrgirl]

I've only got 4 weeks or so to go and I have had NO information about feeding at all other than what I have read. However I have already been diagnosed with sever post natal depression Midwives (sorry Ayrgirl not you) in my experience have been useless.

That's ok, I haven't practised as a midwife for approx 6 years anyway. I have however had experience of the Paisley midwives as that is where Cal was born. Although a fair few from where I trained in Greenock are now at the Mat and there were some cracking midwives who worked with me.

Have you not attended any ante-natal classes? They should cover feeding there and IIRC they usually spend a fair amount of time promoting breast-feeding.

Obviously you can't have severe post natal depression as you are not, as yet, post-natal. However I would say that with your history you are probably pretty much pre-disposed to it. I'm sure you have your own doctors but Alistair Dearing who used to work in Greenock has a special interest in depression and pregnancy. He was most helpful, it comes to us all

[RH33]

Just do what you feel comfortable with Rowan and treat folk that try to tell you how to raise your own child with the contempt they deserve.

We had Cole in our room until he was 8 months and he was under constant supervision mainly because he was in the neo natal ward for a week with a shadow on his lungs. That instilled a paranoia that still lives with me yet about his breathing even though he runs everywhere now and it's plain to see that the problems he had in his first week are long gone.

We regularly put Isla in the room by herself for a wee sleep and some peace and she is a better sleeper than Cole was because of that.

Poor wee soul, must have scared the living daylights out of you. How is Isla doing she must be about 6 months?

Well said, it is your kid so do what you want. Mrs WB stopped breast feeding at 6 weeks, Cameron is now 9 months, 24 lbs and 2 foot 6 tall, and feeds himself his teas, so it can't all be bad.

Thank you.

That's ok, I haven't practised as a midwife for approx 6 years anyway. I have however had experience of the Paisley midwives as that is where Cal was born. Although a fair few from where I trained in Greenock are now at the Mat and there were some cracking midwives who worked with me.

Have you not attended any ante-natal classes? They should cover feeding there and IIRC they usually spend a fair amount of time promoting breast-feeding.

Obviously you can't have severe post natal depression as you are not, as yet, post-natal. However I would say that with your history you are probably pretty much pre-disposed to it. I'm sure you have your own doctors but Alistair Dearing who used to work in Greenock has a special interest in depression and pregnancy. He was most helpful, it comes to us all

Um no when they told me they were called parentcraft I decided I wasn't going so I suppose it is in part my fault. This was then backed up by a midwife who told me if I knew not to drop kick the bairn across the room there wasn't much point going!

No I don't obviously but my GP who's been dealing with me for 3 years actually thinks I'll be fine. I just get sick of been talked at about it.

At the end of the day the *majority* of parents do what they feel is the best thing for their child.

[sonofjenova]

Family (not my mum she fed both me and my sister)

Inlaws

Friends (with and without kids)

They aren't very supportive then, are they? I'd quietly drop all these people from christmas card lists etc

[An Sionnach]

VAT refund processing! Aye, only three days and the novelty has worn off!

[Ebanda's Handyman Services]

Poor wee soul, must have scared the living daylights out of you. How is Isla doing she must be about 6 months?

It was terrible. I automatically go to worst case scenario so I was fraught.

Isla will be 5 months on the 22nd. She's way above average for her length and all she does is smile at everyone. Lovely wee thing.

Hope you're keeping well.

[Hebridean]

They didn't quite say it word for word like that but that was definitely what they were getting at.

How would you have liked them to have phrased it then? Or would you have preferred to have been left to make the decision based entirely on what suited yourselves and without regard to the various reasons that one choice over another is best for the baby?

The evidence points to higher average intelligence amongst breastfed children (dubious though that one is) and has proven lower rates of obesity in later life. You won't disprove that with a sample of one, nor do you negate the implications of the decision you made by pouring scorn on the manner in which you perceive the advice was given.

The principle that no one should be bullied into this or any other parenting choice is all well and good, but against a backdrop of perpetual bullying from formula manufacturers who break and flaunt the law at every turn, inadequately trained health professionals in this area and a general consensus that bottle feeding is the "norm", pussy-footing isn’t the answer. And if the presentation of facts causes offence, then so be it.

If someone interprets “bottle feeding will increase the risk of obesity” or “breastfeeding will decrease the risk of obesity” as “your kid will get fat”, then it’s a pity. It’s the chance you take. But that’s all I believe has happened.

If they had gone on to say that breastfeeding would reduce the chances of cot death, Diabetes, Mutiple Sclerosis, Chron’s disease, respiratory infections, tooth decay and breast cancer would you have interpreted that as them saying that the baby (and mother) were going to suffer from all of these if you used formula?

You’ve already taken liberties quoting what was said to you. If the phrase used annoyed you that much, tell us what they really said.

[proud2beabuddy]

Little old ladies who run accross the road right in front of your car. I mean honestly, surely you should have learned how to cross the road by the time you're 60 odd.

Said little old lady decided that because she was getting wet she would just run infront of 2 cars (mine and another one) across a 40mph road. Nearly crashed the car trying to avoid her. Fucking bitch then had the cheek to say I ought to "respect my elders".

F**k off bitch, you are nothing more than a drain on the NHS.

[philpy]

My grandad passed away this morning. I'm just glad i went to see him yesterday, at least i got to say my goodbyes. He was 91, he had a good life though

[RH33]

I've only got 4 weeks or so to go and I have had NO information about feeding at all other than what I have read. However I have already been diagnosed with sever post natal depression Midwives (sorry Ayrgirl not you) in my experience have been useless.

And today's appointment covered breastfeeding!

[Ayrgirl]

And today's appointment covered breastfeeding!

What did you say? My friends on pie and bovril have already told me all I need to know

[RH33]

What did you say? My friends on pie and bovril have already told me all I need to know

Not only that but I had two midwives and they were both excellent! Maybe they read P&B!!

[RH33]

My grandad passed away this morning. I'm just glad i went to see him yesterday, at least i got to say my goodbyes. He was 91, he had a good life though

Sorry to hear that, but sometimes in the end their passing is a blessing for them and the family

[Ebanda's Handyman Services]

You’ve already taken liberties quoting what was said to you. If the phrase used annoyed you that much, tell us what they really said.

Where have I taken liberties quoting what was said to me?

It wasn't so much the phrases that were used it was the persistance and the way they seemed to take offence when told that we would be giving the child formula.

I agree that they should educate people about health advantages and corresponding stuff like that but in no way should they get touchy about it if you tell them what they dont want to hear.

[Half A Person]

My son was formula fed and, to be honest, he's pretty thick.

[vikingTON]

I was formula fed.

When it comes to actual intelligence, the influence of parents and adult figures is far, far more important than actual brain chemistry - I was taught to do the basic arithmetical functions before I started school, thanks to my brother.

[Rugster]

I don't know whether I was breast or formula fed, and I have no intention of finding out either. The last thing I want to think about is sucking my mum's tits.

Edit: Commiserations Philpy mate, happier place now for your grandpa.

Edited September 11, 2008 by Seaborn

[Enigma]

I was breast fed.