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Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...


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Stupid, ignorant impatient muppets that cant wait 10 seconds to let you get off the train, but insist on crowding in front of the doors when you are trying to get off. Not only that, they get right upitty when you push your way through. There was one right stupid old sow tonight who placed herself right in the middle of the doorway, for what reason, god only knows. Bieng of a mind that its not right for a guy to shove a silly old sow roughly out the way i squeezed past her.......only to see Mrs GC shove her squarely out the way :lol: Mrs GC also gave her and all the other muppets a right mouthful of 'correction', as she calls it :lol:

Ah, the good old current wife. She could start a fight in an empty house :lol:

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100 Best Stand Up Comedians.

Bill Hicks was 6th.

SIXTH.

Channel 4 viewers are c**ts. In fact, they are smelly disease ridden c**ts who have no hope of ever getting the mainge out of their manky lady passage.

I have seen this before, and you'd think the outrage would have passed by now, wouldn't you? But no, it fucking hasn't.

But not because I'm a burning fire of righteous passion, it's because I'm usually quite drunk and I forget a lot of things that I have seen, particularly if it's on telly late at night.

Harry Hill was voted 5th funniest stand-up ever. Now, I'm no expert (I fucking am though, because I'm funnier than Hill, and I can prove it), but Hill is the kind of useless dribbling w**ker that modern British audiences just cannot wait to imbibe.

You see, as long as a comedian is doing harmless stuff about ducks or newsreaders, and he's doing it in a wonderfully off the cuff manner, he's lauded in Britain! Yes, let's ensure that under no circumstances does anything we either watch on our spoon fed channels of fucking mind-control reality tv, or our theatres full of placid anodyne self-serving parasite fucks parading a variety of ultra mundane routines about how hilarious it would be if one traded medicine for fame in any way challenge us at all.

Let's make certain that we can watch some sweat ridden cockney ponce make his body into a slightly bendy shape for our chortles, or maybe be a bit Geordie and talk about scary pot plants. Ooooohh, that's a bit surreal, so I guess that curly haired fucking nonce must be the next comedy superstar, eh?

You people make me fucking sick. You will literally watch anything, won't you? Peter Kay is the second funniest stand up in this country, if you believe the Channel 4 voters.

SECOND???

Who was first, the rest of the fucking nation? That fat w**kbag couldn't make me laugh if he got run over by a greyhound and flat cap delivery truck, although I might pretend to conga in glee ( that aint laughing ). Oh, Rola Cola, mind when your mam bought it? Look, I'm walking around trying to get a signal on my phone, aren't I Northern? Eeeeeee!!!! That isn't comedy, it's a seventies shopping list with an exaggerated Lancashire accent. Die, you snake oil pushing charlatan f**k.

I fucking wish nothing but misery and pestilence on the populus of this filthy pox-infested 'sceptered isle'.

If you vote for these dicks, these incredibly egotistical Hitler-diary discovering Scarlet Pimpernells then all I can wish on you, the nation, is a huge big fucking bomb sent by Al Qaeda. I'm serious folks, you need wiped out and we need to breed a new planet of humans with a sense of other humans humour.

Bring then terror on, I will clap and cheer as Bovine Britain burns to a fucking cinder. f**k the lot of you, I'm off to my bed. :angry:

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100 Best Stand Up Comedians.

Bill Hicks was 6th.

.......

Bring then terror on, I will clap and cheer as Bovine Britain burns to a fucking cinder. f**k the lot of you, I'm off to my bed. :angry:

Why the indignation? Nobody cares for your opinion, and all the vitriol in the world won't make you anything special. Just chill, and maybe one day (before the inevitable heart attack), you will realise that there is more to life.

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Now it's not the nicest day in Aberdeen and the chances of our football game being on today was always going to be minimal but given that the organisers of the league hadn't been in touch to tell us it was off we therefore assumed it was one. Of course when we get down there we find out the games are off. Nice of them to tell us prior to heading down there.

Stupid cunts.

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Why the indignation? Nobody cares for your opinion, and all the vitriol in the world won't make you anything special. Just chill, and maybe one day (before the inevitable heart attack), you will realise that there is more to life.

Wow.

Your pomposity knowd no limits does it?

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The phrases "Theres a bug going about" and "Bless your cotton socks" both fukin get right on my nerves.

Also people who read the paper you are reading while you are reading it. I would love to smack those barstewards!!!!!

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Guest The Phoenix
Why the indignation? Nobody cares for your opinion, and all the vitriol in the world won't make you anything special. Just chill, and maybe one day (before the inevitable heart attack), you will realise that there is more to life.
Wow.

Your pomposity knowd no limits does it?

You forgot to add your usual insults. Must try harder.
I don't need to insult you at all, you're doing a fine job of making yourself look a complete tit. :lol:
Well done! There may yet be hope for you.

post-7951-1197213175_thumb.jpg

I'd pay box office price to watch. ;)

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Guest The Phoenix
Im above that sort of stuff! :D My good nature prevents me from actually being anything other than polite and mild mannered.

Monster - Are you going to let him away with that? :unsure:

FFS - What does one have to do to start a fight around here? :angry:

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