South Lanarkshire Jag Posted July 3, 2007 Share Posted July 3, 2007 i can't decide if you should live or die 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RiG Posted July 3, 2007 Share Posted July 3, 2007 You didn't just stand in the middle of the room, turn 360 degrees and go 'Aw, f**k. They're not here!', did you? No! I've not got a scooby where they could be 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuart. Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 I hat eon Big Brother when they say "oh no - I may be up for nomination this week" They are always "up for nomination" - the phrase they are looking for is "up for eviction" the doss gits. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RiG Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 (edited) I have managed to lose my girlfriends keys somewhere in my flat.Fuck. Seriously, where the hell are these damn keys! Edited July 4, 2007 by RiG 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Phoenix Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 Seriously, where the hell are these damn keys! Generally I find that, when I can't find something, I find that when I find it, it is invariably where I left it. HTH. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RiG Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 I lost my wallet the other week and eventually found it behind one of my computer speakers Sadly no sign of her keys on top of my scanner where they have been for the last 3 weeks 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Francesc Fabregas Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 No straightners My mum took hers when she went away on holiday 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RiG Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 My flat keys were once found in my fridge My old flat mate came back from a night out one night and put his wallet in the freezer I'm going to search every inch of my flat after work - including the freezer! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larsson. Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 Told my boss i'm starting to feel very light headed and unwell and may have too go home....and he does'nt believe me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ebanda's Handyman Services Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 brown corduroy trousers[/b] in the sale. I own a pair of Brown cords. I use them when I'm going to a Golf course with a dress code. I'm a posh man in a Kirkcaldy tink's body. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 Did you get it from millets? Funnily enough, slug boy, I got it from a kilt shot. What the hell is Millets anyway, some sort of Kirkcaldy pawn shop? I own a pair of Brown cords. I use them when I'm going to a Golf course with a dress code. I'm a posh man in a Kirkcaldy tink's body. Brilliant! You'll be telling me next you have a fully flushing indoor lav! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 The Data Protection Act, or rather old idiots that don't believe it exists because 20 years ago anyone could phone up and get info on anyone's policy. "I'm just phoning up for information on my wife's policy." "Is your wife available so I can ask her a few security questions first of all before speaking to you?" "No she's not, but I'm her husband." "I'm sorry, I would have to speak to your wife first of all but after I've done that I can speak to you. But if she's not available I can't give you any information." "AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" *Stream of profanities, saying it's 'not like this at any other company', etc., etc.." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
North Stand Bairn Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 The Data Protection Act, or rather old idiots that don't believe it exists because 20 years ago anyone could phone up and get info on anyone's policy."I'm just phoning up for information on my wife's policy." "Is your wife available so I can ask her a few security questions first of all before speaking to you?" "No she's not, but I'm her husband." "I'm sorry, I would have to speak to your wife first of all but after I've done that I can speak to you. But if she's not available I can't give you any information." "AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" *Stream of profanities, saying it's 'not like this at any other company', etc., etc.." I know exactly what you're talking about. And if they bother to pay attention, they'll find it IS exactly the same with other companies. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fuctifano Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 I'm about to shave for the first time in 9/10 days and all I have to properly show for it is an Ian Beale-style mouser. I hoped I would at least have made the "Brandon Flowers" stage. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
An Sionnach Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 People who say they're just coming for a wee holiday and then I find they've 10, yes TEN, bags of luggage, each weighing about 30 kgs! I've just had to bring them through from baggage reclaim to the office. Three trolley-loads! Ahm fecked! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 I'm about to shave for the first time in 9/10 days and all I have to properly show for it is an Ian Beale-style mouser. I hoped I would at least have made the "Brandon Flowers" stage. B) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 I feel another rant coming on. UNSOLICITED SALES CALLS. All day I field calls from people trying to sell me telephone services, mobile phone services, pallets, plastic bags, courier services, and so on. It's moderately annoying, but I'm polite to them the vast majority of the time. However, today I behaved rather unprofessionally to a woman who phoned. She was selling diesel for the company vehicles. I assume this is industrial diesel, the pink stuff that you're not allowed to run your motor on (or drink, but it's lovely with some creme de menthe and angostura bitters, recipe to follow) Now, we don't have any company vehicles, our bricks are sub-con, we just have this office and my bosses car. Technically it's a company vehicle and I have taxed and arranged services for it in the past, but that's all. Here's how the call went: Wumman:"Can I speak to the person who deals with the company vehicles please?" Me:"That would be me." Wumman:"I'm from 'blah' company and we supply diesel to....." Me:"Can i just stop you there, I'm afraid we wouldn't require anything thanks..." Her:"But I can save you so much money on your vehicles you wouldn't believe" Me:"There's no point, we don't have any company vehicles requiring diesel" Her:"But you just said you were in charge of the vehicles. Now if I can just tell you about.... Me:"Sorry, but there really is no point....." Her:"Sir, if I could just tell you.... Me, by now a tad irritated:"Look! We do not have any bloody vehicles!" Her:"Excuse me sir, there's no ned to swear All I was trying to do was...." Me, losing it:"Swear?!?!?! Fucking swear?!?!?!?!? Will you listen properly, you cloth eared bint - WE. HAVE. NO. VEHICLES. FOR. YOUR DIESEL. In other words, you are wasting both of our time. Now kindly piss off" So she hangs up. I know I was a little harsh, and I thoroughly accept they have a job to do, but why do some of these people not listen? How many 'no's are enough? Is she trained to be some sort of robot that can only continue to plug her companys sweet, delicious, but ultimately useless to me, diesel? How difficult is it to just end the call when you find out there's no commission available on this one? AAAARRRGGGHHHHH 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Phoenix Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 (edited) I guess most of us can empathise with that Rant, Monster. My latest (in a long list of tactics) is: Caller: Can I speak to Mr or Mrs *****, please? Me: Who's calling? Caller: Amanada from InYerFace Financial Services Me: Who? Caller: Amanada from InYerFace Financial Services Me: Who? Caller: Amanada from InYerFace Financial Services Me: Who? Caller: Amanada from InYerFace Financial Services The record to date is 6 "Who's". Edited July 4, 2007 by The Phoenix 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 The record to date is 6 "Who's". Nice work. We get two or three a night since somebody in the house decided she'd like to spend her time doing online surveys , so I've been teaching the boy to say random things to them. So far we've had fun with "Banana!" "Penguin" "Rudimentary cabinets" After one of the 'penguin' efforts, the woman asked to speak to my mum or dad. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ebanda's Handyman Services Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 Both of the above are excellent and will be getting tested. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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