Zetterlund Posted December 24, 2022 Share Posted December 24, 2022 (edited) On the way out to her work at 7am this morning, my Mrs asked if I could do her a favour and pick up the vacuum cleaner she'd ordered a while back from Currys, which would be ready for collection sometime today. On Christmas Eve, in Dundee's busiest retail park. You normally couldn't pay me to go anywhere near there today, but it wasn't a request... Luckily a text came through at 8:30 saying it was ready to pick up at the store, so being very sensible to beat the rush I headed straight over from Fife before I'd even had breakfast. Arrived at the store to find that it opens at 10am. Seething. What a ridiculous system. Edited December 24, 2022 by Zetterlund 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbornbairn Posted December 24, 2022 Share Posted December 24, 2022 My sister got a puncture this morning My first thought was how long was she running it before she noticed? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Empty It Posted December 24, 2022 Share Posted December 24, 2022 1 hour ago, Newbornbairn said: My sister got a puncture this morning My first thought was how long was she running it before she noticed? Still plenty of life left in that tyre. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted December 24, 2022 Share Posted December 24, 2022 Just needs a wee bit air in it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 24, 2022 Share Posted December 24, 2022 (edited) Whichever censor working for ITV4 decided to edit the scene in 'The Cowboys' where the kid with the stutter repeatedly calls John Wayne a son of a bitch..... I know, there's bigger fish to fry....... but that had me shouting at the telly. Edited December 24, 2022 by IncomingExile 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted December 24, 2022 Share Posted December 24, 2022 (edited) There's a band or bunch of singers called "Pentatonix". The missus had a playlist on earlier and I wanted to shoot myself, her and them. Fucking every song they did they utterly butchered with a rusty kitchen knife before bludgeoning it with a mallet. A fucking atrocity of a musical entity and they should be murdered painfully immediately. I hate their voices, I hate the way they gleefully mess up songs, I hate their name and I probably would hate their company and their faces. They're a big bag of w**k. I've hated 90s Airdrie players less. Edited December 24, 2022 by Stellaboz 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 24, 2022 Share Posted December 24, 2022 4 minutes ago, Stellaboz said: There's a band or bunch of singers called "Pentatonix". The missus had a playlist on earlier and I wanted to shoot myself, her and them. Fucking every song they did they utterly butchered with a rusty kitchen knife before bludgeoning it with a mallet. A fucking atrocity of a musical entity and they should be murdered painfully immediately. I hate their voices, I hate the way they gleefully mess up songs, I hate their name and I probably would hate their company and their faces. I've hated 90s Airdrie players less. Console yourself in the knowledge that for every Pentatonix, there's a Ferocious Dog (even if they have gone 'revolving doors line up' lately). 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted December 24, 2022 Share Posted December 24, 2022 When you buy 2 curries from a takeaway and they don't mark which is which. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted December 24, 2022 Share Posted December 24, 2022 57 minutes ago, IncomingExile said: Whichever censor working for ITV4 decided to edit the scene in 'The Cowboys' where the kid with the stutter repeatedly calls John Wayne a son of a bitch..... I know, there's bigger fish to fry....... but that had me shouting at the telly. They're probably still sent edits made for American TV, and they've always been way more puritanical than the censors here. I remember seeing films on TV years ago where words like "damn" or "hell" would be censored to "dang" or "heck". Amusingly, they don't consider "piss" and "w**k" to be curse words over there, possibly because they don't know what the latter means and just think it's a funny word. On Married with Children, Peggy's maiden name was "w****r" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted December 24, 2022 Share Posted December 24, 2022 3 minutes ago, BFTD said: They're probably still sent edits made for American TV, and they've always been way more puritanical than the censors here. I remember seeing films on TV years ago where words like "damn" or "hell" would be censored to "dang" or "heck". Amusingly, they don't consider "piss" and "w**k" to be curse words over there, possibly because they don't know what the latter means and just think it's a funny word. On Married with Children, Peggy's maiden name was "w****r" Years ago I watched The Presidio, listening to Sean Connery being dubbed saying 'Bushwar' instead of bull-shit was toe curling. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted December 24, 2022 Share Posted December 24, 2022 1 minute ago, Zen Archer (Raconteur) said: Years ago I watched The Presidio, listening to Sean Connery being dubbed saying 'Bushwar' instead of bull-shit was toe curling. My favourite was always John McClane saying "Yippee-ki-yay, Kimosabe" in an Asian-American voice. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 24, 2022 Share Posted December 24, 2022 (edited) 18 minutes ago, BFTD said: They're probably still sent edits made for American TV, and they've always been way more puritanical than the censors here. I remember seeing films on TV years ago where words like "damn" or "hell" would be censored to "dang" or "heck". Amusingly, they don't consider "piss" and "w**k" to be curse words over there, possibly because they don't know what the latter means and just think it's a funny word. On Married with Children, Peggy's maiden name was "w****r" Those god-damned mean puritanical sons of bitches..... Say it faster. Edited December 24, 2022 by IncomingExile 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted December 24, 2022 Share Posted December 24, 2022 21 minutes ago, BFTD said: My favourite was always John McClane saying "Yippee-ki-yay, Kimosabe" in an Asian-American voice. What was the film where the guy called somebody a melonfarmer? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Steele Posted December 24, 2022 Share Posted December 24, 2022 10 minutes ago, GordonD said: What was the film where the guy called somebody a melonfarmer? Mr Majestyk.* Not really. It was Repo Man. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted December 24, 2022 Share Posted December 24, 2022 My favourite was in 'Glengarry Glen Ross' when Jack Lemmon pointed at his own backside and yelled 'Kiss my act!" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted December 25, 2022 Share Posted December 25, 2022 4 hours ago, Zen Archer (Raconteur) said: When you buy 2 curries from a takeaway and they don't mark which is which. If you can't tell then firstly, it doesn't matter, and secondly, you don't deserve to know. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted December 25, 2022 Share Posted December 25, 2022 Also, just put them on to separate plates/bowls then take a taste. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Raccoon Posted December 25, 2022 Share Posted December 25, 2022 14 hours ago, BFTD said: My favourite was always John McClane saying "Yippee-ki-yay, Kimosabe" in an Asian-American voice. The TV version of Scarface has some belters From "Where did you get that scar tough guy? Eating pussy?" To "Where did you get that scar tough guy? Eating Pineapples?" 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeWhoWalksBehindTheRows Posted December 25, 2022 Share Posted December 25, 2022 14 hours ago, BFTD said: My favourite was always John McClane saying "Yippee-ki-yay, Kimosabe" in an Asian-American voice. Mines is robocop "I once ever called him an airhead". 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted December 25, 2022 Share Posted December 25, 2022 My cranberry sauce wasn’t looking right. Turns out I’d chucked in a load of couscous rather than muscavado sugar. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.