Bert Raccoon Posted August 4, 2022 Share Posted August 4, 2022 1 minute ago, Sergeant Wilson said: What happened to the donkeys? Signed for Hamilton Accies 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Raccoon Posted August 4, 2022 Share Posted August 4, 2022 2 minutes ago, GordonD said: Carried on playing for Rangers, what do you think? Dammit 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted August 4, 2022 Share Posted August 4, 2022 4 hours ago, Empty It said: I don't let them get almost nearly as far as this, "are you busy?" "Yes" the end. As soon as I see one approaching me, I whip out my phone and "take a call". 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FK1Bairn Posted August 4, 2022 Share Posted August 4, 2022 5 hours ago, Bairnardo said: Charity doorsteppers launching into a big scripted spiel. Also when they try to give it "its only a tiny amount of your household budget" and "loads of your neighbours have been so generous today" I had one of those at the door a few months back. Made the mistake of letting the chat go on too long and rather than simply saying no, I signed up somebody of a different name with my old bank details to a Standing Order 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coprolite Posted August 4, 2022 Share Posted August 4, 2022 2 hours ago, Bert Raccoon said: I did the whole door to door charity thing in my early 20s when I was young and desperate for cash. First day they sent us to a high rise in Ibrox (I think), nearly every door was opened by someone with limited English or at least pretending to have limited English and clearly the area was not going to be frequented by folk with money spare to give to a donkey sanctuary or whatever crap we were attempting to get money for. Also it was all commission based so no sales, no wage. Anyway, after about two hours I decided this clearly wasn't for me. Made my excuses and said I was gonna nip out on the landing for a quick cigarette while the female I was with harassed another poor soul. Once out on the landing I just kept walking, jumped in the lift then walked to the train station and never looked back. Fair play to anyone that can do that but two hours of it was soul destroying I lasted four weeks. Last day it was pissing down in Bellshill, one person had answered the door all day, some local urchins asked me if i was CID (i had a long coat on) and i said yes so they followed me and i was bursting for a shite. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted August 4, 2022 Share Posted August 4, 2022 3 hours ago, Hillonearth said: It's a shitty job to have I guess, but sometimes they really must be on autopilot. There was one time I was in the shower and the door went - my missus had just left a few minutes before so I assumed she'd forgotten her keys and wanted back in. I answered with a towel round my waist and dripping wet hair, to be confronted by some daft bint whose opening gambit was: "Hi - I'm from such and such a charity. I won't take up more than five or ten minutes of your time...." "Five or ten seconds you mean. Beat it." Worst porno ever 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sugna Posted August 4, 2022 Share Posted August 4, 2022 4 hours ago, KnightswoodVanBear said: That you found it now? I will not be taking questions at this time. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Dufresne Posted August 4, 2022 Share Posted August 4, 2022 My son's passport was due to be delivered today by TNT,he got an email saying he wasn't in(he was working from home.Then he called them only then to be told the driver couldn't get into his close but his door is outside the close as he is a self contained flat. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
die hard doonhamer Posted August 4, 2022 Share Posted August 4, 2022 (edited) Perth and Kinross council’s grass cutting schedule meaning that I’m having to worry about getting a full cricket pitch cut on a day’s notice. Might have to do it with my own push mower, which could take ages. Edited August 4, 2022 by die hard doonhamer 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted August 4, 2022 Share Posted August 4, 2022 2 minutes ago, die hard doonhamer said: Perth and Kinross council’s grass cutting schedule meaning that I’m having to worry about getting a full cricket pitch cut on a day’s notice. Might have to do it with my own push mower, which could take ages. You crease me up. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
die hard doonhamer Posted August 4, 2022 Share Posted August 4, 2022 1 minute ago, Zen Archer (Raconteur) said: You crease me up. You’ve bowled me over with that one. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted August 5, 2022 Share Posted August 5, 2022 8 hours ago, FK1Bairn said: I had one of those at the door a few months back. Made the mistake of letting the chat go on too long and rather than simply saying no, I signed up somebody of a different name with my old bank details to a Standing Order I seen a video where the guy answers his door to them countering what they have with other door knockers tripe. If a salesman comes to the door asking if he has double glazing he replies with "are you ready to let the lord Jesus Christ our saviour save your soul?" and the other way round. Seems a decent tactic, tbh. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH33 Posted August 5, 2022 Share Posted August 5, 2022 (edited) 12 hours ago, Lyle Lanley said: Evri (Hermes) claiming I wasn’t home when they tried to deliver my parcel and is now being returned to the sender. My area must have the only decent Evri driver. Edited August 5, 2022 by RH33 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted August 5, 2022 Share Posted August 5, 2022 Being awake from half four, then just finally starting to feel sleepy when the kids wake up. Seething. Also, being borderline for needing the heating on. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hk blues Posted August 5, 2022 Share Posted August 5, 2022 7 hours ago, die hard doonhamer said: You’ve bowled me over with that one. That's me stumped 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted August 5, 2022 Share Posted August 5, 2022 29 minutes ago, Bairnardo said: Also, being borderline for needing the heating on. Sweating my tits aff in bed the past wee while. Decided last night every window was being left open. Up at 3am for a pish and thought "it's affy cold". Up at 6 for work and f**k me, like living in a freezer. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hk blues Posted August 5, 2022 Share Posted August 5, 2022 14 minutes ago, Mr. Alli said: Sweating my tits aff in bed the past wee while. Decided last night every window was being left open. Up at 3am for a pish and thought "it's affy cold". Up at 6 for work and f**k me, like living in a freezer. We're the same - we have aircon and by the middle of the night the wife and son are huddled under the duvet as it's Baltic but no chance they'll let me turn it off 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted August 5, 2022 Share Posted August 5, 2022 22 minutes ago, Mr. Alli said: Sweating my tits aff in bed the past wee while. Decided last night every window was being left open. Up at 3am for a pish and thought "it's affy cold". Up at 6 for work and f**k me, like living in a freezer. Our neighbours have chickens. Whenever we try to sleep with the window open, these things start their pish at 4 am. Very annoying, just so that she can have a few free eggs or whatever she does with them. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted August 5, 2022 Share Posted August 5, 2022 Our neighbours have chickens. Whenever we try to sleep with the window open, these things start their pish at 4 am. Very annoying, just so that she can have a few free eggs or whatever she does with them. My neighbour has chickens too. I like them. They eat stuff I'm throwing out and are generally soothing to watch. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted August 5, 2022 Share Posted August 5, 2022 11 minutes ago, Bairnardo said: 1 hour ago, scottsdad said: Our neighbours have chickens. Whenever we try to sleep with the window open, these things start their pish at 4 am. Very annoying, just so that she can have a few free eggs or whatever she does with them. My neighbour has chickens too. I like them. They eat stuff I'm throwing out and are generally soothing to watch. I find chickens soothing to watch, too. The way they go all golden-brown and crispy over the course of 90 minutes in the oven. 16 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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