Whistle Blower Posted April 12, 2007 Share Posted April 12, 2007 1. The fucking sun. Out it comes and every b*****d in the West Of Scotland wants to come to the seaside, resulting in me being unable to find a parking space for work. Fuckers. Where will they be when it's a wet and cold January morning? It's like a weegie parade in Ayr when the suns oot, one of the downsides of moving to Ayrshire. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Posted April 12, 2007 Share Posted April 12, 2007 Geeks that think they're funny Yer camera's fine ya plamf! You and the pooch can take all those pics you've been longing for...... It's like a weegie parade in Ayr when the suns oot, one of the downsides of moving to Ayrshire. Turn in the passport and return to Middle Earth then, where there's never any sun due to the smog from the rendering plants and visitors only arrive by gunpoint. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted April 12, 2007 Share Posted April 12, 2007 1. The fucking sun. Out it comes and every b*****d in the West Of Scotland wants to come to the seaside, resulting in me being unable to find a parking space for work. Fuckers. Where will they be when it's a wet and cold January morning? 2. School holidays. Thanks to my boss fucking off to the Caribean for a fortnight and paying me f**k all extra for the extra hours I'm doing to cover her, we are £30 down this week for childcare. f**k, thats just minded me. "The ned's paradise" aka the kirkcaldy links market rolls into town next week. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bowie_1888 Posted April 12, 2007 Share Posted April 12, 2007 Yer camera's fine ya plamf! You and the pooch can take all those pics you've been longing for......Turn in the passport and return to Middle Earth then, where there's never any sun due to the smog from the rendering plants and visitors only arrive by gunpoint. What's a plamf?? And i got it ya big moanin faced jessie 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whistle Blower Posted April 12, 2007 Share Posted April 12, 2007 Yer camera's fine ya plamf! You and the pooch can take all those pics you've been longing for......Turn in the passport and return to Middle Earth then, where there's never any sun due to the smog from the rendering plants and visitors only arrive by gunpoint. I was at a rendering plant last week in Irvine, shocking what they do to horses 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Posted April 12, 2007 Share Posted April 12, 2007 f**k, thats just minded me. "The ned's paradise" aka the kirkcaldy links market rolls into town next week. That's like 'Merrimass' in Irvine every August - a local holiday whose true meaning remains a mystery, but that provides ample opportunity for the locals to reflect on, as they are battered, stabbed or assaulted with Buckfast bottles. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted April 12, 2007 Share Posted April 12, 2007 (edited) That's like 'Merrimass' in Irvine every August - a local holiday whose true meaning remains a mystery, but that provides ample opportunity for the locals to reflect on, as they are battered, stabbed or assaulted with Buckfast bottles. Thats not far from the truth the "market fowk" always frequent the local nitespots, thats where most of the trouble stems from. Last year a midget asked my mate's girl for a dance and she refused, so he booted her in the shin i think his name was dave..... Edited April 12, 2007 by philpy 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Posted April 12, 2007 Share Posted April 12, 2007 What's a plamf?? And i got it ya big moanin faced jessie You should know what a plamf is what with it being a 'weegie' term and you being one! *Woof! Woof!* "Oh, you're such a licky boy, mmmmmmm" I was at a rendering plant last week in Irvine, shocking what they do to horses Give them boots and directions to Somerset? Thats not far from the truth the "market fowk" always frequent the local nitespots, thats where most of the trouble stems from. Last year a dwarf asked my mate's girl for a dance and she refused, so he booted her in the shin i think his name was dave..... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peterhead Dave Posted April 12, 2007 Share Posted April 12, 2007 Thats not far from the truth the "market fowk" always frequent the local nitespots, thats where most of the trouble stems from. Last year a dwarf asked my mate's girl for a dance and she refused, so he booted her in the shin i think his name was dave..... I am bookmarking this! The first time this plank has EVER said anything remotely funny! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Posted April 12, 2007 Share Posted April 12, 2007 I am bookmarking this! The first time this plank has EVER said anything remotely funny! Most of what he says just goes over your head anyway. Oh, wait...... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whistle Blower Posted April 12, 2007 Share Posted April 12, 2007 f**k, thats just minded me. "The ned's paradise" aka the kirkcaldy links market rolls into town next week. Do the local kids still go down on a Tuesdya night to 'test' the rides ? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peterhead Dave Posted April 12, 2007 Share Posted April 12, 2007 Most of what he says just goes over your head anyway. Oh, wait...... Just a wee bit too obvious, big man! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bowie_1888 Posted April 12, 2007 Share Posted April 12, 2007 You should know what a plamf is what with it being a 'weegie' term and you being one! *Woof! Woof!* "Oh, you're such a licky boy, mmmmmmm" She's a bitch Monster, not a Stud/dog/boy dog* * whatever the technical term for is for a male dog 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted April 12, 2007 Share Posted April 12, 2007 Do the local kids still go down on a Tuesdya night to 'test' the rides ? I think so , mind it you it is the links so your always guaranteed a ride down there...... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Posted April 12, 2007 Share Posted April 12, 2007 Just a wee bit too obvious, big man! I'm trying to draw you out, because frankly young man you're far too nice. I mean, all these sly, obvious and mostly humourless digs about your height(which isn't your fault) and never once have you responded with a joke about my not inconsiderable mass(which clearly is my fault). Dave, it's just not pie and bovril if you aint a keyboard gangster. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted April 12, 2007 Share Posted April 12, 2007 I'm trying to draw you out, because frankly young man you're far too nice.I mean, all these sly, obvious and mostly humourless digs about your height(which isn't your fault) and never once have you responded with a joke about my not inconsiderable mass(which clearly is my fault). Dave, it's just not pie and bovril if you aint a keyboard gangster. Leave him alone you , ya big, fat ba................. i'l stop there i think 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peterhead Dave Posted April 12, 2007 Share Posted April 12, 2007 I'm trying to draw you out, because frankly young man you're far too nice.I mean, all these sly, obvious and mostly humourless digs about your height(which isn't your fault) and never once have you responded with a joke about my not inconsiderable mass(which clearly is my fault). Dave, it's just not pie and bovril if you aint a keyboard gangster. I'm sorry you fat bassa. Post your seat number 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renton Posted April 12, 2007 Share Posted April 12, 2007 Leave him alone you , ya big, fat ba................. ..............................stard here to help 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Posted April 12, 2007 Share Posted April 12, 2007 I'm sorry you fat bassa.Post your seat number That's more like it, except it's not really a number, more third pillar from left, 2/3 of way up from right hand goalpost, Somerset Road end. Can't miss me. Literally - I take up the whole end. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bowie_1888 Posted April 12, 2007 Share Posted April 12, 2007 (edited) That's more like it, except it's not really a number, more third pillar from left, 2/3 of way up from right hand goalpost, Somerset Road end. Can't miss me. Literally - I take up the whole end. So dave would be like a tasty snack for you then in between the pie and the bovril, like a sausage on a stick type of thing...... Edited April 12, 2007 by Bowie_1888 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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