Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...

[welshbairn]

2 hours ago, Miguel Sanchez said:

Pasta bags and the sticky labels on them

Has anyone ever used them to keep a bag of pasta shut?

Has one ever stayed sealed?

Has one ever been printed with proper grammar and punctuation?

Likewise the resealable packs of ham or cheese. Always peeled open when you go back to the fridge.

[Derry Alli]

1 hour ago, welshbairn said:

Likewise the resealable packs of ham or cheese. Always peeled open when you go back to the fridge.

I just chuck them in a food bag. I used to get mega pissed off having to chop off the corner of bacon that was surplus on first use as the pack would roll back. 

[tamthebam]

5 hours ago, scottsdad said:

Fictional cooking instructions. Malcolm Allen steak pies - 180 degree for 45 minutes, it says. Aye, if you want the chill taken off it. 

As you watch the steak pie crust turn a lovely shade of burnt you just know the contents will still be uncooked...

[DiegoDiego]

Fictional cooking instructions. Malcolm Allen steak pies - 180 degree for 45 minutes, it says. Aye, if you want the chill taken off it. 

Problem could well be with your oven.

[welshbairn]

19 hours ago, BFTD said:

Tesco's website having issues when I've got three hours to add the shopping we need for next week, rather than the bunch of placeholder stuff that I added at the start of this week just to book the slot  

Hearing they've been hacked, thus the bother.

 

[Newbornbairn]

2 hours ago, welshbairn said:

Hearing they've been hacked, thus the bother.

Talking of which, I heard last week that one of the COP26 venues has been under sustained cyber attack ever since they were announced as being part of it. Their IT company say it's coming from Russia and China.

[A96]

On 23/10/2021 at 18:37, scottsdad said:

Fictional cooking instructions. Malcolm Allen steak pies - 180 degree for 45 minutes, it says. Aye, if you want the chill taken off it. 

On a similar note ,the cooking instructions on some jars or packaging are almost impossible to read , usually due to a combination of the print being miniscule and the print colour being too similar to the background.   

As for your steak pie problem, here’s a top tip..... cook the pie as per instructions, but then remove the crust “lid” and lay it upside down beside the base of the pie. Stick them back in the oven for another 10-15 mins. The pie filling should then be pretty well cooked and piping hot, whilst the underside of the pie lid should also be cooked and infinitely preferable to the soggy ,claggy undercooked,  unappetising offering you’d be left with if you’d simply followed the instructions on the packaging.

Edited October 24, 2021 by A96

[welshbairn]

1 hour ago, A96 said:

On a similar note ,the cooking instructions on some jars or packaging are almost impossible to read , usually due to a combination of the print being miniscule and the print colour being too similar to the background.

Showing your age there, but it's really annoying. All the branding and shite promotional stuff you can read from yards away, but the cooking instructions you need a magnifying glass if you're over 50 odd.

[BFTD]

About ten years ago I noticed that the text on jars and packages seemed to have got noticeably smaller, even after getting a new prescription for my glasses. Took me a while to admit to myself that it was much more likely that I'd crossed the line into codgerdom rather than that an entire industry had decided to change the text on their packaging just to annoy me.

I've now got magnifying glasses scattered about the house, including a backlit magnifying visor which is the tits, and makes me feel like a world-saving scientist in some old sci-fi movie while I'm checking the amount of carbohydrate in my quarter pounders.

[Soapy FFC]

2 hours ago, A96 said:

 

As for your steak pie problem, here’s a top tip..... cook the pie as per instructions, but then remove the crust “lid” and lay it upside down beside the base of the pie. Stick them back in the oven for another 10-15 mins. The pie filling should then be pretty well cooked and piping hot, whilst the underside of the pie lid should also be cooked and infinitely preferable to the soggy ,claggy undercooked,  unappetising offering you’d be left with if you’d simply followed the instructions on the packaging.

Personally, I like the soggy pastry on the underside. It's the best bit of the pastry.

[coprolite]

9 hours ago, A96 said:

 

As for your steak pie problem, here’s a top tip..... cook the pie as per instructions, but then remove the crust “lid” and lay it upside down beside the base of the pie. Stick them back in the oven for another 10-15 mins. The pie filling should then be pretty well cooked and piping hot, whilst the underside of the pie lid should also be cooked and infinitely preferable to the soggy ,claggy undercooked,  unappetising offering you’d be left with if you’d simply followed the instructions on the packaging.

All that effort to ruin a pie. This is very disturbing behaviour. 

6 hours ago, Soapy FFC said:

Personally, I like the soggy pastry on the underside. It's the best bit of the pastry.

Obviously correct. 

[superbigal]

I'm not averse to the soggy bit on puff pastry. However it is just rawish dough.
Prefer shortcrust pastry myself but that's another story.
For me main problem is cooking instructions being on the bottom of packages.
If you have already ripped free the contents and then turnover : crumbs go everywhere
If the contents are still inside : the topping etc gets stuck to the top as you invert.

Even worse are the peel back label for instructions.
The label that has just disintegrated in my hands aye.

[HeartsOfficialMoaner]

Take it from the fridge and put it on the bunker for an hour. Let the pie reach room temperature before putting it in the oven, it works for fish and steaks. There should be a big difference. 

[Oystercatcher]

A few houses in my street have had halloween decorations up for 2 weeks. When did this become a thing?

[velo army]

19 minutes ago, HeartsOfficialMoaner said:

Take it from the fridge and put it on the bunker for an hour. Let the pie reach room temperature before putting it in the oven, it works for fish and steaks. There should be a big difference. 

Good advice. 

For those wondering why you might have an underground lair in your kitchen, bunker=worktop. I don't know why either.

[coprolite]

7 minutes ago, Oystercatcher said:

A few houses in my street have had halloween decorations up for 2 weeks. When did this become a thing?

We've put Halloween decorations up since the kids were old enough to notice. I stopped protesting after the first couple of years because the kids seem to like them. I draw the line at them saying they're going trick or treating though, "it's guising" i say, as they roll their eyes and completely ignore me. 

[Newbornbairn]

9 hours ago, BFTD said:

About ten years ago I noticed that the text on jars and packages seemed to have got noticeably smaller, even after getting a new prescription for my glasses. Took me a while to admit to myself that it was much more likely that I'd crossed the line into codgerdom rather than that an entire industry had decided to change the text on their packaging just to annoy me.

I've now got magnifying glasses scattered about the house, including a backlit magnifying visor which is the tits, and makes me feel like a world-saving scientist in some old sci-fi movie while I'm checking the amount of carbohydrate in my quarter pounders.

I use the camera on my phone and enlarge the text with that.

[GordonD]

Most cooking instructions these days have a bit at the bottom that says 'All appliances vary. Timings are only approximate."

In other words, 'We haven't a fucking clue how long you need to cook this for, so you're on your own.'

[DiegoDiego]

A few houses in my street have had halloween decorations up for 2 weeks. When did this become a thing?

I saw a bus last week which said "Happy Halloween" on the display instead of a destination. Genuinely checked my watch thinking it must have been the 31st.

Surely guising and trick or treating are two different activities, no?

[Sergeant Wilson]

It's "out for Halloween".

Guisin' is as bad as trick or treating.

Anyway, it's best ignored.