Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...

[tamthebam]

4 hours ago, johnnydun said:

You would think that if someone did create a time machine, they would have come back and told us about it by now.

Perhaps all the inventors have been vegans and no one has listened to them long enough to hear their second sentence "And I've invented a time machine"

[GordonS]

10 hours ago, Hedgecutter said:

Time machines based on X,Y,Z coordinates.  It's easy to forget that the Earth is flying through space at 220km per second and that returning to the same point at a different time (even a minute) will see you end up in empty space, several thousands of miles away from the nearest planet.

Relative to what? The sun? That's also moving relative to the Milky Way. 

As long as your coordinates are relative to a point on the Earth - which they all are, by definition - then you're fine. There isn't some universal frame of reference that the Earth is moving through.

ETA Of course, space and time are the same thing - spacetime - and all movement through space and time is relative. But you can't go back.

Edited July 22, 2021 by GordonS

[JamesP_81]

'pingdemic'

[Funky Nosejob]

10 hours ago, johnnydun said:

You would think that if someone did create a time machine, they would have come back and told us about it by now.

I invented a fully functioning time machine about 30 years ago.

Unfortunately, the ramifications were so disastrous that I had to go back in time and stop myself inventing it.

[superbigal]

The way Americans say Audi. "Oddy"

I can see this getting ever trickier if they do realise the
AUDI O version for a laugh.

[Arabdownunder]

2 hours ago, Funky Nosejob said:

I invented a fully functioning time machine about 30 years ago.

Unfortunately, the ramifications were so disastrous that I had to go back in time and stop myself inventing it.

What happened to your younger self?

[Funky Nosejob]

41 minutes ago, Arabdownunder said:

What happened to your younger self?

Now existing on a different tangent on the time plane.

The machine relied on …

[GordonD]

14 hours ago, welshbairn said:

There's an Ian M Banks book where some guy doing his PHD in Exobiopology or something is camped out in the bowels of an enormous interstellar jelly fish, gets into bother and is put onto life support. When he wakes up he's told he's been unconscious for an entire orbit of the Milky Way which means any civilization he ever knew almost certainly ended a couple of hundred million years ago, at least. 

Except that the English football commentators were still talking about 1966.

[DiegoDiego]

'pingdemic'

Never heard this. Please explain.

[GordonS]

1 hour ago, DiegoDiego said:

6 hours ago, JamesP_81 said:

'pingdemic'

Never heard this. Please explain.

Even the BBC are using it.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-57885175 

[Derry Alli]

17 hours ago, johnnydun said:

You would think that if someone did create a time machine, they would have come back and told us about it by now.

They'd then go back and tell their younger self who, in turn, would invent one and go back and tell their younger self. We'd eventually have a five year old time traveller with nobody to tell. 

[welshbairn]

1 hour ago, DiegoDiego said:

7 hours ago, JamesP_81 said:

'pingdemic'

Never heard this. Please explain.

Table tennis is taking over Britain.

[JamesP_81]

2 hours ago, DiegoDiego said:

8 hours ago, JamesP_81 said:

'pingdemic'

Never heard this. Please explain.

Heard it on the radio this morning , newsreader just using it casually as if it's been in the dictionary for years. Explanation of the word as per Gordon's reply.  

[the snudge]

People that sell "home made" jewellery on those local artisan Facebook pages when it's clearly shite plastic from China

[Mr Tourette]

Why is it that when I want a normal sized black coffee with no syrups, milk or any other superfluous shite, coffee outlets only offer “regular” (practically a full pint of boiling water with an espresso shot added at the end) or a “large” (see regular with an added half pint of boiling water).

People from countries other than UK or USA must wonder what the f**k is going on. Nowhere else on earth would a coffee be served up in this way. What is wrong with putting what would normally be served in a small coffee cup if you were sitting in, into a similar sized cardboard cup for taking out?

[Empty It]

There is a top class chippy near mine but their delivery guy is a big nose gammon faced ned who revs his shitbox fiesta which has a stupid exhaust, he also quickly chaps the door leaves the food on the door step and runs back to his car before you can even reach the door, fucking oddball.

[BFTD]

On 21/07/2021 at 08:24, Melanius Mullarkey said:

I had a rather nice dream last night involving an English actress from the 2000s but I can’t remember what she was in or what her name is as I was going to do some further research today. Looked a bit like Julia Sawalha/Samantha Morton, with brownish curly hair.  Sure she was in sitcoms or some such. 

No idea why, but Dervla Kirwan was the name that immediately sprang to mind.

Wrong in so many ways, but at least I've reminded you of Dervla Kirwan now, so it's not all bad.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

8 hours ago, the snudge said:

People that sell "home made" jewellery on those local artisan Facebook pages when it's clearly shite plastic from China

The old Prince Albert not what you were expecting? 

[JamesP_81]

9 hours ago, Mr Tourette said:

Why is it that when I want a normal sized black coffee with no syrups, milk or any other superfluous shite, coffee outlets only offer “regular” (practically a full pint of boiling water with an espresso shot added at the end) or a “large” (see regular with an added half pint of boiling water).

People from countries other than UK or USA must wonder what the f**k is going on. Nowhere else on earth would a coffee be served up in this way. What is wrong with putting what would normally be served in a small coffee cup if you were sitting in, into a similar sized cardboard cup for taking out?
 

I find that most coffee shop staff get bewildered with the simple act of asking for a black coffee . I have plain black coffee no milk no sugar and started specifying in my order that I want it black due to the infuriating assumption that you automatically want it with milk or that u want it half empty so you can find your own milk to put in it . Even now most of the time when I ask for a black filter or black Americano the first line from them is " do you want milk in that " . No I f*cking don't, I want a coffee not a coffee flavoured milkshake. 

[Arabdownunder]

15 hours ago, the snudge said:

People that buy "home made" jewellery on those local artisan Facebook pages when it's clearly shite plastic from China

FTFY