Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...

[scottmcleanscontacts]

People who pay with cash at a self scan. Trying to push their crumpled fivers into the machine, absolute shambles. Or feeding hundreds of coins in one by one. 

Nah that's what the self scan is for. The days you're feeling tight or skint you can get the coins emptied straight into it without the checkout folk needing to count it.

It's a revelation.

[GordonD]

13 hours ago, Miguel Sanchez said:

Curious to see if @The_Kincardine has an opinion on the gender-specific description in this post

How many men do you know who carry their purse in their handbag?

[GordonD]

12 hours ago, BFTD said:

Are you sure the doctor didn't re-assemble you from the bodies of criminals, wastrels, and fans of certain Glasgow-based football clubs?

You say that as if those are three different groups of people.

[BFTD]

25 minutes ago, GordonD said:

You say that as if those are three different groups of people.

Kicking myself that I didn't just say "the bodies of criminals, wastrels, and certain Glasgow-based football clubs". Because they died too, you see. Ho ho.

Anyway, Raidernation is Frankenstein's Monster.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

13 hours ago, Raidernation said:

Fell down the fucking stairs and did this

Spoiler

Get well soon, RN.

 

[Funky Nosejob]

14 hours ago, Raidernation said:

Fell down the fucking stairs and did this

Serves you right for going down the stairs whilst holding a staple gun to your head.

Spoiler

Get well soon, RN.

 

[Northboy]

14 hours ago, GordonD said:

16 hours ago, bennett said:

Search for card, figure out which way card goes in, get the pin wrong, repeat a few times. I'm usually standing behind trying not to look pissed off, face masks help with hiding this.

Hand over some cash, get your change and off you go.

Unless it's a woman, in which case the payment procedure is:

1) Look astonished that the cashier wants payment for the goods.

2) Open handbag, search for purse.

3) Take out purse.

4) Close handbag.

5) Open purse, take out money.

6) Close purse, open handbag, put purse in.

7) Close handbag.

8 ) Hand money to cashier.

9) Accept change from cashier.

10) Open handbag, search for purse which was put in there five seconds ago.

11) Take out purse.

12) Close handbag.

13) Open purse, put change in.

14) Close purse, open handbag, put purse in.

15) Close handbag.

On top of all this is the trend for shops encouraging their checkout staff to engage in mindless pleasantries with customers. If you get the perfect storm of moronic checkout operator and moronic customer you can  wait for ages. 

[BFTD]

3 minutes ago, Northboy said:

On top of all this is the trend for shops encouraging their checkout staff to engage in mindless pleasantries with customers. If you get the perfect storm of moronic checkout operator and moronic customer you can  wait for ages. 

Is there a socially acceptable way to say, "look, you don't want to talk to me, or be here at all, and I don't want to talk to anyone ever, so can we just do this in silence?"

Asking for a mate who needs a trip to the hairdressers.

Edit: maybe there could be a wee badge for antisocial c***s to wear that's universally acknowledged?

Edited November 16, 2020 by BFTD

[Szamo's_Ammo]

7 minutes ago, BFTD said:

Is there a socially acceptable way to say, "look, you don't want to talk to me, or be here at all, and I don't want to talk to anyone ever, so can we just do this in silence?"

Asking for a mate who needs a trip to the hairdressers.

Wear this badge. 

70p well spent.

Edited November 16, 2020 by Szamo's_Ammo

[BFTD]

I fucking guarantee that most folk would just take their mask off and continue to blether about the weather.

I understand that the temperature has dropped recently, which is a surprise in mid-November. Also, precipitation has occurred in Scotland; an event worthy of note.

[welshbairn]

14 minutes ago, Northboy said:

On top of all this is the trend for shops encouraging their checkout staff to engage in mindless pleasantries with customers. If you get the perfect storm of moronic checkout operator and moronic customer you can  wait for ages. 

"Hi, what have you been up to today?"

"Minding my own fucking business."

[Melanius Mullarkey]

13 minutes ago, BFTD said:

Asking for a mate who needs a trip to the hairdressers.

Collar and cuffs?

[BFTD]

2 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Collar and cuffs?

If that's how they do these things in Dundee, I may contact you soon for a referral.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

1 hour ago, BFTD said:

If that's how they do these things in Dundee, I may contact you soon for a referral.

Just ask for the Special Finish.  Works most places, hairdressers, massage parlours, chippers etc

[GordonD]

1 hour ago, Northboy said:

On top of all this is the trend for shops encouraging their checkout staff to engage in mindless pleasantries with customers. If you get the perfect storm of moronic checkout operator and moronic customer you can  wait for ages. 

To be fair, I imagine being a checkout operator is a mind-rotting job and if they don't chat to customers they might go postal. I've never seen anyone stop what they were doing to talk to the customer, they're swiping away (sit down, Kenneth) at the same time, so it doesn't slow the process any.

[Bonksy+HisChristianParade]

The checkout operator in Tesco the other day tried to ID me for a bottle of olive oil. This was apparently the funniest thing she’d ever done. ‘Oh hahhaha I thought it was wine’. 

[tamthebam]

1 hour ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Just ask for the Special Finish.  Works most places, hairdressers, massage parlours, chippers etc

the butchers....

[welshbairn]

1 hour ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Just ask for the Special Finish.  Works most places, hairdressers, massage parlours, chippers etc

Back crack and sack?

[Newbornbairn]

17 hours ago, Raidernation said:

Fell down the fucking stairs and did this

Ooft

 

That's like the pictures I use in my safety training sessions

 

[Szamo's_Ammo]

Has everyone finished quoting that picture now?