Miguel Sanchez Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 7 hours ago, NewBornBairn said: "I like to stay drama-free. I am looking for someone who also wants to be drama-free." Real meaning: I have two restraining orders out on my exes. I am looking for someone who is not a psycho this time. "I live with two roommates. They are really great and I've known them all my life." Real meaning: I live with my parents. "I am a few pounds overweight." Real meaning: I am 2 stones overweight. "I am a little overweight." Real meaning: I am 4 stones overweight. "I am very curvy." Real meaning: I am a female and I am overweight. "What you see is what you get." Real meaning: I am not changing for you and I am brutally honest. I might make you cry. "I am trying to find myself." Real meaning: Unemployed "I love to workout. Fitness is important to me." Real meaning: I am skinny and you'd better be too. "I love to curl up on the couch and watch Netflix" Real meaning: I can't afford to take you out. "I like to have fun." Real meaning: I like to party. I hope you enjoy drunken binges. "I enjoy going to bars or clubs." Real meaning: I like to party hardcore. I want someone that is willing to hold my hair when I vomit. "I have a shaved head." Real meaning: I am going bald, but I am pretending this look is a fashion choice. "Looking for someone stable who has their life together." Real meaning: I hope you have a job. Bonus points if you don't live with your parents. "I am really good looking and in great shape." Real meaning: I am conceited. "I work long hours at a job I love." Real meaning: You will always come in second. I will spend all my time at the office. "Let's get together for drinks." Real meaning: I am hoping to get you drunk. I hope you shag on the first date. "Looking for someone open-minded." Real meaning: This either means A) I have a sex dungeon in the basement, or B) I like threesomes. "I would like to keep this relationship private." Real meaning: I am married. Don't tell my spouse about us. "Must like children." Real meaning: I have 6 kids and still want more. I hope you are fertile! "Must like cats." Real meaning: I am the cat lady. I am filming for Animal Hoarders next week. "I like dining out." Real meaning: I've run out of ideas for this profile. Please just meet me. "Looking for someone serious about a relationship." Real meaning: I am not picky. I am getting old and I want to try this marriage thing as soon as possible. "I am tired of women that play games." Real meaning: I email women on this site all the time and creep them out. I can't fiwork out why everyone keeps blocking me. "I am really laid back." Real meaning: If dating you means I have to get off the couch a lot or deal with any drama, I am not going to be very happy. "I repost chain e-mails about cliched things people say on dating sites." Real meaning: I am yer da. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 I fear that Branston's beans are no longer sold in my area! In Tesco Riverside they only had the ones with sausages in them. There were no store labels or shelf space for the regular ones. B&M and Home Bargains in the Overgate no longer stock them. I had to settle for Heinz on Monday and they were bland nonsense. A deeply troubling turn of events. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
red23 Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 (edited) 21 hours ago, Stan Hope said: they have a stubborn demanding and also delusional attitude because their friends constantly tell them ''you're gorgeous'' or '' absolutely stunning babe'' every time they upload a photo and if they happen to use one of these shagging apps, they will no doubt be told they're ''hot'' from guys who really only want to get sent a photo of their big stupid ugly droopy tits. It's a man made problem to be honest if you'll excuse the pun. Girls regardless of looks are flooded with desperate guys who have no interest in going out with them. It's then impossible for the girl to pick out the genuine ones because they aren't smart enough to figure out who the dead beats are fast enough. I met a 4/10 girl who had over 100 matches to choose from and most of them she couldn't be bothered with or wouldn't even give a chance. - 4 months later shes preg to some bloke with no job, house or any form of prospects. Edited October 27, 2020 by red23 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmic Joe Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 10 minutes ago, DA Baracus said: I fear that Branston's beans are no longer sold in my area! In Tesco Riverside they only had the ones with sausages in them. There were no store labels or shelf space for the regular ones. B&M and Home Bargains in the Overgate no longer stock them. I had to settle for Heinz on Monday and they were bland nonsense. A deeply troubling turn of events. On sale in Tesco South Road. Unlike Kerrygold Butter which annoyingly you have to go to Morrisons off the Forfar Road to buy 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 33 minutes ago, red23 said: It's a man made problem to be honest if you'll excuse the pun. Girls regardless of looks are flooded with desperate guys who have no interest in going out with them. It's then impossible for the girl to pick out the genuine ones because they aren't smart enough to figure out who the dead beats are fast enough. I met a 4/10 girl who had over 100 matches to choose from and most of them she couldn't be bothered with or wouldn't even give a chance. - 4 months later shes preg to some bloke with no job, house or any form of prospects. Congratulations! 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coprolite Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 44 minutes ago, DA Baracus said: I fear that Branston's beans are no longer sold in my area! In Tesco Riverside they only had the ones with sausages in them. There were no store labels or shelf space for the regular ones. B&M and Home Bargains in the Overgate no longer stock them. I had to settle for Heinz on Monday and they were bland nonsense. A deeply troubling turn of events. A dash of reggae reggae sauce should liven them up. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
red23 Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 (edited) 27 minutes ago, Stan Hope said: one of my favs. is this a thing in Scotland these days ? Was never an issue i had as i was 6ft when i was 16, but its not something that was anything that held my shorter pals back. Behind the time bud, dating these days online is like a menu. Girls pick very specific guys they are after and won't budge. I'm 6ft was speaking to a girl who said i'm too short as she want 6'2 and above. It really is horrendous. Also see girls who are 32 their dating age range is 32 - 34 Edited October 27, 2020 by red23 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 22 hours ago, Stan Hope said: they have a stubborn demanding and also delusional attitude because their friends constantly tell them ''you're gorgeous'' or '' absolutely stunning babe'' every time they upload a photo and if they happen to use one of these shagging apps, they will no doubt be told they're ''hot'' from guys who really only want to get sent a photo of their big stupid ugly droopy tits. Does that work? Asking for a friend... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 18 minutes ago, red23 said: Behind the time bud, dating these days online is like a menu. Girls pick very specific guys they are after and won't budge. I'm 6ft was speaking to a girl who said i'm too short as she want 6'2 and above. It really is horrendous. Also see girls who are 32 their dating age range is 32 - 34 It was definitely your height that was the issue. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 A lot of 'nice guy' vibes here. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 1 hour ago, red23 said: It's a man made problem to be honest if you'll excuse the pun. Girls regardless of looks are flooded with desperate guys who have no interest in going out with them. It's then impossible for the girl to pick out the genuine ones because they aren't smart enough to figure out who the dead beats are fast enough. I met a 4/10 girl who had over 100 matches to choose from and most of them she couldn't be bothered with or wouldn't even give a chance. - 4 months later shes preg to some bloke with no job, house or any form of prospects. Simpler times in the olden days. Trip over at the end of a party onto someone on bean bags, impregnate, then wedding bells. All this letting computers sort it sounds a bit Victorian. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbornbairn Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 Can't seem to get cans of diet Lilt anywhere these days. Not been in Tesco for months. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Kincardine Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 My PTTGOYN is the return of supermarket shopping as a family activity. Lockdown was great for one main reason: A person on their own doing a shop for the whole family. Now we have maw, paw and the weans going out together like a shower of fucking imbeciles. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted October 28, 2020 Share Posted October 28, 2020 1 hour ago, NewBornBairn said: Can't seem to get cans of diet Lilt anywhere these days. Not been in Tesco for months. Have you tried 'Ting'? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coprolite Posted October 28, 2020 Share Posted October 28, 2020 4 hours ago, NewBornBairn said: Can't seem to get cans of diet Lilt anywhere these days. Not been in Tesco for months. They still make Lilt? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheScarf Posted October 28, 2020 Share Posted October 28, 2020 I'm only 5"10 but when I'm out and about or in work or the pub I'm taller than a lot of other males there. What's the UK average height these days? And before anyone starts, no I don't work in a primary school, or a place where Hobbits live. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted October 28, 2020 Share Posted October 28, 2020 I’m 5’11’’ and bubbly. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hk blues Posted October 28, 2020 Share Posted October 28, 2020 14 minutes ago, TheScarf said: What's the UK average height these days? 5'9" apparently. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted October 28, 2020 Share Posted October 28, 2020 19 minutes ago, TheScarf said: I'm only 5"10 but when I'm out and about or in work or the pub I'm taller than a lot of other males there. What's the UK average height these days? And before anyone starts, no I don't work in a primary school, or a place where Hobbits live. I definitely think teuchters are shorter on average than normal people, bit like the cattle. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invergowrie arab Posted October 28, 2020 Share Posted October 28, 2020 10 hours ago, NewBornBairn said: Can't seem to get cans of diet Lilt anywhere these days. Not been in Tesco for months. Aldi (or is It Lidl??) Sugar free tropical is the same stuff 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.