welshbairn Posted October 26, 2020 Share Posted October 26, 2020 1 minute ago, ICTJohnboy said: Hearts of gold, some of them. I was thinking more taking it up the arse and swallowing tbh. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTJohnboy Posted October 26, 2020 Share Posted October 26, 2020 3 minutes ago, welshbairn said: I was thinking more taking it up the arse and swallowing tbh. Not at the same time, Shirley? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted October 26, 2020 Share Posted October 26, 2020 1 minute ago, ICTJohnboy said: Not at the same time, Shirley? Nah, you need Uri Gellar for that. BBC banned him after he did it to Bob Monkhouse in the green room. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted October 26, 2020 Share Posted October 26, 2020 40 minutes ago, welshbairn said: Nah, you need Uri Gellar for that. BBC banned him after he did it to Bob Monkhouse in the green room. Hence the episode of Hugh Laurie's medical drama: "Bob's full, House" 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Academically Deficient Posted October 26, 2020 Share Posted October 26, 2020 4 hours ago, welshbairn said: Nah, you need Uri Gellar for that. BBC banned him after he did it to Bob Monkhouse in the green room. Yeah. I remember that. Bob didn't take it too well, as it were. The incident inspired the movie Deliverance with Burt Reynolds in the Monkhouse role. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted October 26, 2020 Share Posted October 26, 2020 1 minute ago, Academically Deficient said: Yeah. I remember that. Bob didn't take it too well, as it were. The incident inspired the movie Deliverance with Burt Reynolds in the Monkhouse role. People laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian, well, they're not laughing now. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Academically Deficient Posted October 26, 2020 Share Posted October 26, 2020 Just now, Zen Archer Esq. said: People laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian, well, they're not laughing now. I hope I die like my Dad, peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like his passengers. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmic Joe Posted October 26, 2020 Share Posted October 26, 2020 5 hours ago, red23 said: Women who describe themselves as chunky but funky - no you are just a fat b*****d and probably have the stubborn demanding attitude that usually goes with it too. Overweight men on the other hand... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Golden God Posted October 26, 2020 Share Posted October 26, 2020 People sharing their friends new “business” on FB is bad enough but when they starting saying stuff like “he’s a great sports therapist” as if they are also qualified in that field and would have a single clue about said friend’s capabilities. Also when people ask stuff like “can anyone recommend any wedding venues in Glasgow” or “can anyone recommend any nice places for a meal for 2 in London” and the c**t who owns a late night bar in Edinburgh recommends his own business for both. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raidernation Posted October 26, 2020 Share Posted October 26, 2020 That was me!Me too. No dual carriageway either and only one set of lights! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTJohnboy Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 "Girls who are skinny think they're a bit chubby. Girls who are chubby think they're fat. Fat girls think they're obese. And obese girls think they're supermodels." Kevin Bridges 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbornbairn Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 Women who describe themselves as athletic = no tits. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 Some pretty awful chat in here of late. No doubt you think it's hilarious and folk who think otherwise are 'desperate to be offended' rather than thinking that some of the stuff written is distasteful and potentially harmful garbage. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 3 minutes ago, DA Baracus said: Some pretty awful chat in here of late. No doubt you think it's hilarious and folk who think otherwise are 'desperate to be offended' rather than thinking that some of the stuff written is distasteful and potentially harmful garbage. ^^^ Heart of gold 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raidernation Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 ^^^ Heart of gold^^^Neil Young 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coprolite Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 14 hours ago, Angusfifer said: Overweight men on the other hand... You mean underheight 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbornbairn Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 "I like to stay drama-free. I am looking for someone who also wants to be drama-free." Real meaning: I have two restraining orders out on my exes. I am looking for someone who is not a psycho this time. "I live with two roommates. They are really great and I've known them all my life." Real meaning: I live with my parents. "I am a few pounds overweight." Real meaning: I am 2 stones overweight. "I am a little overweight." Real meaning: I am 4 stones overweight. "I am very curvy." Real meaning: I am a female and I am overweight. "What you see is what you get." Real meaning: I am not changing for you and I am brutally honest. I might make you cry. "I am trying to find myself." Real meaning: Unemployed "I love to workout. Fitness is important to me." Real meaning: I am skinny and you'd better be too. "I love to curl up on the couch and watch Netflix" Real meaning: I can't afford to take you out. "I like to have fun." Real meaning: I like to party. I hope you enjoy drunken binges. "I enjoy going to bars or clubs." Real meaning: I like to party hardcore. I want someone that is willing to hold my hair when I vomit. "I have a shaved head." Real meaning: I am going bald, but I am pretending this look is a fashion choice. "Looking for someone stable who has their life together." Real meaning: I hope you have a job. Bonus points if you don't live with your parents. "I am really good looking and in great shape." Real meaning: I am conceited. "I work long hours at a job I love." Real meaning: You will always come in second. I will spend all my time at the office. "Let's get together for drinks." Real meaning: I am hoping to get you drunk. I hope you shag on the first date. "Looking for someone open-minded." Real meaning: This either means A) I have a sex dungeon in the basement, or B) I like threesomes. "I would like to keep this relationship private." Real meaning: I am married. Don't tell my spouse about us. "Must like children." Real meaning: I have 6 kids and still want more. I hope you are fertile! "Must like cats." Real meaning: I am the cat lady. I am filming for Animal Hoarders next week. "I like dining out." Real meaning: I've run out of ideas for this profile. Please just meet me. "Looking for someone serious about a relationship." Real meaning: I am not picky. I am getting old and I want to try this marriage thing as soon as possible. "I am tired of women that play games." Real meaning: I email women on this site all the time and creep them out. I can't fiwork out why everyone keeps blocking me. "I am really laid back." Real meaning: If dating you means I have to get off the couch a lot or deal with any drama, I am not going to be very happy. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 4 hours ago, NewBornBairn said: "Must like children." Real meaning: I have 6 kids and still want more. I hope you are fertile! Real meaning: I have children from multiple deadbeat fathers and am looking for a sap to take on the financial burden. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathematics Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 Sitting down to watch something I’ve recorded on Sky, and it starts with the last couple of minutes of the previous programme and then the following adverts. No need, Sky, you c***s. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathematics Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 While I’m here, calling a TV series a season. f**k off. 19 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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