Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...

[19QOS19]

Do you know of a poster who uses this emoji on here?
From The Daily Mash -

No one who uses 'tears of joy' emoji worth knowing

14th February 2020
ANYONE who uses the ‘tears of joy’ emoji is not worth your time or attention, experts have confirmed.
The Institute for Studies found the emoticon is exclusively used by simpletons, sarcastic morons and people who post things on the internet for the sake of it.
Professor Henry Brubaker said: “Just look at its stupid chuckling face. If you use it in any form of communication, either ironically or not, you don’t deserve to draw breath.
“Traditionally this little yellow fool has been a favourite with passive-aggressive mums on WhatsApp and middle-aged blokes with Union Jacks in their Twitter bios. Do you really want to be like them?
“It’s unlikely that they’re actually crying with laughter, as 80 per of its use is criticising someone who disagrees with them. 
  “Maybe some really are hooting uncontrollably at a gif of a toddler looking confused. Who knows with these idiots? Cut them out of your life immediately.”
Tears of joy user Tom Booker texted ‘Tell us how you really feel mate!’, followed by the emoji 15 times, as if that was clever.

[emoji38] ...

[KingRocketman II]

6 hours ago, pozbaird said:

It’s happened again. Yesterday. I’m waiting in a large queue at a Costa. I just want an Americano and a chocolate tiffin. Got a headache, and a bit of a squiffy stomach...need a sit down and a chocolatey thing to settle me down. In front of me, two women. Yakking away about fcuk-knows what. Strictly being flooded out of the Hydro last month or somesuch. Anyway, they’ve had over five minutes before reaching the lassie taking orders. The lassie then asks them what they want. Then it begins.... ‘Oh, I don’t know Sadie, do you fancy sharing a chocolate twist? No? Fancy the blueberry muffin? Nah? Your usual latte is it?’ Just. Fcuk. Off.

WTF is it with these women? It’s always women. Blokes in the queue are already lasered-in on their order, utilising the time spent in the queue to decide on the merits of a mocha over a flat white.

I’m a bawhair away from doing a Michael Douglas on these cnuts.

I hear you fella: 

 

On 02/08/2019 at 15:48, KingRocketman II said:

that doesn't bother me too much. However folks waiting for 10 min for so in a fairly long queue, gabbing to one another incessantly and then when its their turn say "oh I don't know what I'll have today. Is the Costa Rican roast on this week?" or something to that effect. Boils my piss. You should know exactly what you want and be saying it within a fraction of a second of the word "next". Fuckin die. 

[Ludo*1]

Recently changed banks from TSB to HSBC. Everything is better with HSBC in my experience so far, except one crucial, annoying thing - They don't update the balance of your bank account instantly like I'm used to with TSB. There's around a 2 day delay so I'm never 100% sure just how much  cash I have and HSBC doesn't update their 'pending transactions' either.

I know I can easily just keep track of my outgoings manually, but it's a slight pisser when logging onto the TSB app and you'd get the correct details instantly.

[Bert Raccoon]

1 hour ago, Ludo*1 said:

Recently changed banks from TSB to HSBC. Everything is better with HSBC in my experience so far, except one crucial, annoying thing - They don't update the balance of your bank account instantly like I'm used to with TSB. There's around a 2 day delay so I'm never 100% sure just how much  cash I have and HSBC doesn't update their 'pending transactions' either.

I know I can easily just keep track of my outgoings manually, but it's a slight pisser when logging onto the TSB app and you'd get the correct details instantly.

Banking regulations state that banks have to show you your up to date balance with any pending transactions taken off. I'd get in the phone to them because that doesn't sound right at all.

Edited February 14, 2020 by Bert Raccoon

[The Naitch]

5 hours ago, Sergeant Wilson said:

^^^

I pass that place every day. It's the height of sophistication.

[Clough85]

Been thinking that there is a few phrases becoming more and more popular that are starting to boil my piss.  In no particular order...

1. “Making memories” - Had a great day making memories with my family. 

2. Describing somebody’s current situation as being in a “good or bad place”. Steven Gerrard has used it to describe the rangers squad this season. 

3. “Rest easy Davy/jimmy/tam” I like the traditional R.I.P, when did this rest easy pish start? 

4. “Had a great day with great folk/company” knob off. 

5. “Sliding into DMs.....” behaviour of creeps. 

Anyway I feel I’m in a far better place after unloading this. 
 

[Dee Man]

3 hours ago, Clough85 said:

Been thinking that there is a few phrases becoming more and more popular that are starting to boil my piss.  In no particular order...

1. “Making memories” - Had a great day making memories with my family. 

2. Describing somebody’s current situation as being in a “good or bad place”. Steven Gerrard has used it to describe the rangers squad this season. 

3. “Rest easy Davy/jimmy/tam” I like the traditional R.I.P, when did this rest easy pish start? 

4. “Had a great day with great folk/company” knob off. 

5. “Sliding into DMs.....” behaviour of creeps. 

Anyway I feel I’m in a far better place after unloading this. 
 

I hope this has all helped you become the best version of yourself. 

[Bairnardo]

I hope this has all helped you become the best version of yourself. 

Hes absolutely won the internet with that post.

Anyway, as a newbie to the world of trying different beers, trying to find anything on the shelf that isnt a fucking IPA was yesterdays one for me. Absolutely no need for it.

[johnnydun]

4 hours ago, Clough85 said:

Been thinking that there is a few phrases becoming more and more popular that are starting to boil my piss.  In no particular order...

1. “Making memories” - Had a great day making memories with my family. 

2. Describing somebody’s current situation as being in a “good or bad place”. Steven Gerrard has used it to describe the rangers squad this season. 

3. “Rest easy Davy/jimmy/tam” I like the traditional R.I.P, when did this rest easy pish start? 

4. “Had a great day with great folk/company” knob off. 

5. “Sliding into DMs.....” behaviour of creeps. 

Anyway I feel I’m in a far better place after unloading this. 
 

6. "Knob off".

 

[8MileBU]

Been thinking that there is a few phrases becoming more and more popular that are starting to boil my piss.  In no particular order...
1. “Making memories” - Had a great day making memories with my family. 
2. Describing somebody’s current situation as being in a “good or bad place”. Steven Gerrard has used it to describe the rangers squad this season. 
3. “Rest easy Davy/jimmy/tam” I like the traditional R.I.P, when did this rest easy pish start? 
4. “Had a great day with great folk/company” knob off. 
5. “Sliding into DMs.....” behaviour of creeps. 
Anyway I feel I’m in a far better place after unloading this. 
 

6. Knob off

7. You love to see it.

8. Living his/her best life.

[GordonD]

4 hours ago, Clough85 said:

5. “Sliding into DMs.....” behaviour of creeps. 

I don't even know what that means. The only DMs I can think of are Doc Marten's and AFAIK they don't come in slip-on format.

[Derry Alli]

1 hour ago, GordonD said:

I don't even know what that means. The only DMs I can think of are Doc Marten's and AFAIK they don't come in slip-on format.

[Miguel Sanchez]

6 hours ago, Clough85 said:

Been thinking that there is a few phrases becoming more and more popular that are starting to boil my piss.  In no particular order...

1. “Making memories” - Had a great day making memories with my family. 

2. Describing somebody’s current situation as being in a “good or bad place”. Steven Gerrard has used it to describe the rangers squad this season. 

3. “Rest easy Davy/jimmy/tam” I like the traditional R.I.P, when did this rest easy pish start? 

4. “Had a great day with great folk/company” knob off. 

5. “Sliding into DMs.....” behaviour of creeps. 

Anyway I feel I’m in a far better place after unloading this. 
 

I see you. Keep doing you.

[Jamaldo]

Clough85 DESTROYS modern society with FACTS and LOGIC.

[Jacksgranda]

On 12/02/2020 at 13:10, Margaret Thatcher said:

Our fancy tartan duvet covers and matching pillow cases have additional buttons just for decoration. That's exactly what I want when falling asleep, a hard object poking me in the face. 

[Jacksgranda]

On 12/02/2020 at 15:23, 19QOS19 said:

On 12/02/2020 at 15:18, 19QOS19 said:

That's fair logic tbf. I bet that's not why she does it though. She'll do it because she's fucking mental. I'll ask and report my findings.

As expected, she's just a fucking crackpot.

In her defence, she is married to you...

[Derry Alli]

These are worse than McCoy's for stabbing you whilst you try to eat them. 

[19QOS19]

14 minutes ago, Jacksgranda said:

In her defence, she is married to you...

 

[Shandon Par]

7 hours ago, Bairnardo said:

Hes absolutely won the internet with that post.

Anyway, as a newbie to the world of trying different beers, trying to find anything on the shelf that isnt a fucking IPA was yesterdays one for me. Absolutely no need for it.

Also, it must be frustrating for you being limited to the bottles on the lowest couple of shelves only.

Edited February 16, 2020 by Shandon Par

[Deanburn Dave]

American cop shows where the criminal and then the cop jump off one flat roof down to another flat roof. 20 foot leap with a 20 foot drop apparently isn't a problem for these guys.

In reality though it's at least one broken legs and a load of swear words.