Hedgecutter Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 1 hour ago, Dons_1988 said: A bottle of fish sauce fell out the cupboard and smashed this morning. It fucking stinks and is difficult to get rid of. I reheated a pizza with anchovies in the science oven (microwave) the other week and they evidently exploded, lining every nook and cranny with tiny fragments of reeking fish. The thing was out of action for over a week and my other half smelled and commented on it as soon as she walked in the front door of the house. Despite the dried fish, the pizza (transformed into a pungent margherita) was fine with the cheese nice and bubbly. And fishy. I also recently discovered (the hard way) that Lea & Perrins use anchovies in the production process. Check the 'use by' dates, people . 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 I had something similarly nasty on the kitchen floor the other night (no, not Mrs Bairnardo). Reluctant to post what it was it as it’s not even lunchtime. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 2 hours ago, welshbairn said: Used to wear one sometimes cycling to work in London, and it was black after a few miles. Must have been doing some good. maybe you should have cleaned your teeth more, halitosis boy. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 11 hours ago, Dee Man said: The respect given to someone carrying out a kind act is immediately negated when they post online to tell everyone how great they are for doing it. I genuinely think some folk see the opportunity to help someone as a chance to gain some likes online. Last night I watched a program called How to Steal Pigs and it brought my attention to a whole other level of this shit. Instagram wankers entering farms at night and stealing "sick" pigs and "saving them" from death, all so they can get likes and follows from vegan arseholes online. The guy following these people around pretty much proved that these c***s don't have the slightest clue how to look after these animals and they end up dying anyway. A group of about 200 vegans entered a farm and tried a sit down protest, then started claiming pigs who were sleeping or utterly stressed out with the 200 bodies that were walking around them were dying. The owner of the farm turned up and I felt extremely sorry for her, I was so disappointed it wasn't a big burly c**t with a shotgun that showed up and started blasting them, she was far too civil to the c***s. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 2 hours ago, Shandon Par said: I had something similarly nasty on the kitchen floor the other night (no, not Mrs Bairnardo). Reluctant to post what it was it as it’s not even lunchtime. Get fucking on with it! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 15 minutes ago, The Moonster said: Last night I watched a program called How to Steal Pigs and it brought my attention to a whole other level of this shit. Instagram wankers entering farms at night and stealing "sick" pigs and "saving them" from death, all so they can get likes and follows from vegan arseholes online. The guy following these people around pretty much proved that these c***s don't have the slightest clue how to look after these animals and they end up dying anyway. A group of about 200 vegans entered a farm and tried a sit down protest, then started claiming pigs who were sleeping or utterly stressed out with the 200 bodies that were walking around them were dying. The owner of the farm turned up and I felt extremely sorry for her, I was so disappointed it wasn't a big burly c**t with a shotgun that showed up and started blasting them, she was far too civil to the c***s. A couple of my mates used to steal sheep, but they just killed them and sold them to unscrupulous butchers. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 4 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said: Get fucking on with it! You asked for it.. Spoiler The dog (not euph) usually sleeps about 14 hours a night but we were woken up by him the other night with a load of racket from the kitchen. He had decided to molest one of his blankets and had jizzed all over the kitchen floor. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 Today's combination of blue bin day and Storm Brendan. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 You asked for it.. Spoiler The dog (not euph) usually sleeps about 14 hours a night but we were woken up by him the other night with a load of racket from the kitchen. He had decided to molest one of his blankets and had jizzed all over the kitchen floor. Aye.. it was definitely Renton that did that.Bad dog, etc. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 Just now, Bairnardo said: Aye.. it was definitely Renton that did that. Bad dog, etc. I've never delivered a load like this one. My asthmatic old stones probably squeeze out half a teaspoon at best. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 1 hour ago, Shandon Par said: I've never delivered a load like this one. My asthmatic old stones probably squeeze out half a teaspoon at best. The band 10cc were so called as that is the average amount of semen a guy produces. Except it isn't. I heard that years ago and passed it off as fact anytime spunk chat arose - which wasn't particularly regularly tbf - only for Google to let me know that I had been spreading fake news for years. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 30 minutes ago, Dee Man said: The band 10cc were so called as that is the average amount of semen a guy produces. Except it isn't. I heard that years ago and passed it off as fact anytime spunk chat arose - which wasn't particularly regularly tbf - only for Google to let me know that I had been spreading fake news for years. The same thing is said about the Lovin' Spoonful. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken Wing Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 The band 10cc were so called as that is the average amount of semen a guy produces.The things we do for love. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeWhoWalksBehindTheRows Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 (edited) 18 hours ago, Jamaldo said: "Even though the team you support is not the team I support, I have to say that what you did or didn't do today was just absolutely top class. This is important as the team you support are arch rivals of the team I support, and we do not like eachother, but I had to put all that aside to just show you how class you are. Class." Weedgies are the epitome of this. Bin lorry plows into a rake of people? Glasgow pulls together. What would have c***s from anywhere else done? Just stood and watched? Are we meant to pat a rake of breeds on the back cause they stopped robbing and stabbing each other for just long enough to kick a restrained terrorist in the face?? Edited January 15, 2020 by HeWhoWalksBehindTheRows 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 Boy finds starving homeless man with 3 legged cat, you won't BELIEVE what happens next!Did he eat another of the cat's legs? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillonearth Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 (edited) 7 hours ago, Shandon Par said: You asked for it.. Hide contents The dog (not euph) usually sleeps about 14 hours a night but we were woken up by him the other night with a load of racket from the kitchen. He had decided to molest one of his blankets and had jizzed all over the kitchen floor. One time I called round to pick up a girl I'd recently started seeing...she still lived at her parents and inevitably wasn't ready to leave when I showed up. I was ushered into the living room to make small talk with her mother, but while she was giving me the "where did you meet her/where is it you live/what is it you do" spiel, over in the corner of the room the family retriever was cleaning itself. Way too vigorously for my liking and eventually to completion. The mother either didn't notice or studiously ignored what was going on, and if the former was the case I must have looked like a complete weirdo attempting to keep a straight face to the innocuous questions she was batting my way...meeting a new burd's parents is stressful enough at best without the spectacle of a goodly sized dug enthusiastically sucking itself off in your field of vision. Edited January 15, 2020 by Hillonearth 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH33 Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 6 hours ago, Shandon Par said: You asked for it.. Hide contents The dog (not euph) usually sleeps about 14 hours a night but we were woken up by him the other night with a load of racket from the kitchen. He had decided to molest one of his blankets and had jizzed all over the kitchen floor. Blaming poor Renton for your wanking habits! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 50 minutes ago, RH33 said: Blaming poor Renton for your wanking habits! He’s not as bad as me tbf. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Ferrino Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 Sky Q TV remote that only needs picking up to change channel. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spring Onion Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 2 minutes ago, Tony Ferrino said: Sky Q TV remote that only needs picking up to change channel. Exactly. It's worse when you have paused it for a while to give you a break buffer. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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