Hillonearth Posted November 26, 2019 Share Posted November 26, 2019 The fact that every second advert on TV seems to feature a cover of a well-known song done in a supposedly winsome sotto voce fashion by a female singer backed by a slightly hesitant piono...think Tori Amos minus the acrobatic vocal wailing. Just heard a particularly egregious example of some burd pissing all over Wonderwall. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted November 26, 2019 Share Posted November 26, 2019 I don’t like it when a player who’s just scored runs over to the corner flag and carries out some sort of assault on itYAAAAAAS. Brugge player sent off (second yellow) for booting f**k out the corner flag after they'd equalised. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted November 26, 2019 Share Posted November 26, 2019 1 minute ago, Swarley said: On 25/11/2019 at 02:18, A96 said: I don’t like it when a player who’s just scored runs over to the corner flag and carries out some sort of assault on it YAAAAAAS. Brugge player sent off (second yellow) for booting f**k out the corner flag after they'd equalised. Flexing c***s next. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted November 26, 2019 Share Posted November 26, 2019 23 hours ago, philpy said: End of fork on forklift at work 1, philpy's shin 1. How did your shin get the equaliser? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted November 26, 2019 Share Posted November 26, 2019 (edited) 23 hours ago, philpy said: End of fork on forklift at work 1, philpy's shin 1. It looks like the last turkey in the shop. Edited November 26, 2019 by Sergeant Wilson 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted November 26, 2019 Share Posted November 26, 2019 3 hours ago, Granny Danger said: I’ve probably mentioned this before, but people on TV/radio starting sentences with “So”. Particularly answering a question. I use this as a marker for people on game shows, if they come out with this pish I hope for them to fail. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 throbber's naked noodles just reminds me of this old postcard: 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 When you are browsing on your phone and you go to push a link, just as the page you are on loads the last shitty ad and moves the whole lot just enough that you click the wrong link...Utterly fucking raging. 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LondonHMFC Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 1 hour ago, Bairnardo said: When you are browsing on your phone and you go to push a link, just as the page you are on loads the last shitty ad and moves the whole lot just enough that you click the wrong link... Utterly fucking raging. "And that is how I ended up looking at gay porn" 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pozbaird Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 When you open a new toothpaste, to find it is one that has one of those tiny wee tinfoil seals across the tube opening. Those wee fcukers never pick off easily. Never. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 14 hours ago, Hillonearth said: The fact that every second advert on TV seems to feature a cover of a well-known song done in a supposedly winsome sotto voce fashion by a female singer backed by a slightly hesitant piono...think Tori Amos minus the acrobatic vocal wailing. Just heard a particularly egregious example of some burd pissing all over Wonderwall. It's cheaper to hire a shit piano player and an unknown female singer to record a song than it is to buy the original for a 30 second advert. The sole reason we end up with this constant stream of shite. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 When you are browsing on your phone and you go to push a link, just as the page you are on loads the last shitty ad and moves the whole lot just enough that you click the wrong link...Utterly fucking raging. ^^^Purchased gimp mask from wish 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pozbaird Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 When, after years and years of ‘eye-kia’, furniture stores, or ‘high-oon-dye’, Korean cars, or ‘Voll-vo’ Swedish cars, adverts suddenly start giving it ‘‘ikk-i-a’, Hune-dae’ or ‘vull-voo’. Just fuke-oof. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IainMorton Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 “Happy heavenly birthday” shite on social media. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 3 hours ago, IainMorton said: “Happy heavenly birthday” shite on social media. Someone on my Facebook page posted earlier today, wishing their Mum a happy what-would've-been-93rd-birthday-if-she-wasn't-dead. It's received over 50 likes (none from me, obviously) so objective accomplished, I suppose. Switching gears, you'll be excited to learn that Jerri-Lynn is going to give up fizzy drinks (including Coke) for the whole month of December. A magnificent achievement if she can stick it but of course, you knew it wouldn't be that simple, didn't you? We all have to donate money to her charitable cause because, you know...she's giving up fizzy drinks. For a whole month. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pozbaird Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 Pop-up stands in shopping centres, usually energy suppliers. All you want to do is to nip into Superdrug for a packet of Gillette razors, and you want to do it without trying to be converted to / from Scottish Power, but no, they clock you from a hundred yards. I know they’re just doing their job, but... 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 5 minutes ago, pozbaird said: Pop-up stands in shopping centres, usually energy suppliers. All you want to do is to nip into Superdrug for a packet of Gillette razors, and you want to do it without trying to be converted to / from Scottish Power, but no, they clock you from a hundred yards. I know they’re just doing their job, but... Try this manoeuvre. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweeperDee Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 Pop-up stands in shopping centres, usually energy suppliers. All you want to do is to nip into Superdrug for a packet of Gillette razors, and you want to do it without trying to be converted to / from Scottish Power, but no, they clock you from a hundred yards. I know they’re just doing their job, but... Nah, f**k them. Even more so the c***s that stand in the middle of the street trying to find out who your gas/electricity supplier is. Even after you take the widest berth possible away from them, they still cut into your path and bother you. In my line of work, I’m usually out and about with vulnerable people, and the amount of times they’ve repeatedly cut into our path to ask the same shite they asked us when we walked past/away from them the first time is nonsense. Even if they notice that the client I’m with is getting distressed from the hassle and interruption, they get bent out of shape if I sternly tell them that I’m not interested and that I’m currently working. Wankers. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Raccoon Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 "I am not the bill payer" is the phrase you need. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 Just tell them in a Doric accent that you get your electricity delivered weekly to the farm in a bucket by a man with a lorry and that suits you fine. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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