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Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...


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4 minutes ago, pozbaird said:

How come whenever someone dies and it makes the news (for whatever reason), it is always a great guy, a well-liked student, or an angel. Do complete cnuts never die?

Similarly, when something kinda’ shocking happens in an area (for whatever reason), why does the community always be described as ‘tight knit’.

Tight knit my arse, just a normal place where you maybe know the neighbour on one side, but ignore the fanny on the other side who always goes out wearing a Sellik tap, and as for anyone more than two doors away, you don’t know jack shit about them... as I say, tight knit my arse... until on the news.

Explanations please to... 

When you die I’ll happily attest that you were a complete c**t.

 

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23 minutes ago, pozbaird said:

How come whenever someone dies and it makes the news (for whatever reason), it is always a great guy, a well-liked student, or an angel. Do complete cnuts never die?

Similarly, when something kinda’ shocking happens in an area (for whatever reason), why does the community always be described as ‘tight knit’.

Tight knit my arse, just a normal place where you maybe know the neighbour on one side, but ignore the fanny on the other side who always goes out wearing a Sellik tap, and as for anyone more than two doors away, you don’t know jack shit about them... as I say, tight knit my arse... until on the news.

Explanations please to... 

Along the same lines, when the police start digging up bodies in the back garden, the neighbours always describe the killed as "A really quiet man, kept himself to himself. We had no idea!" Nobody ever says, "Well, we did have a bit of a problem when he started biting the heads off pigeons, but we had a quiet word and he stopped leaving the bodies on the doorstep, so we decided not to take things any further."

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Just now, GordonD said:

Along the same lines, when the police start digging up bodies in the back garden, the neighbours always describe the killed as "A really quiet man, kept himself to himself. We had no idea!" Nobody ever says, "Well, we did have a bit of a problem when he started biting the heads off pigeons, but we had a quiet word and he stopped leaving the bodies on the doorstep, so we decided not to take things any further."

“Aye he was a right fucking wierdo. Posted on a website called Pie and Bovril. Called himself something to do with mints or something. Seemed a right creepy b*****d”

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9 hours ago, Rowan said:

I messaged a pal earlier saying to was my dads annual shout at telly about getting 5 A students from middle/upper class catchment schools open exam results day!

Scottish exams aren't good enough for upper class kids in Scotland. Pupils from fee-paying schools take English qualifications...

Edited by Angusfifer
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26 minutes ago, Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo said:

Anyhoo, my room in Barcelona has no AC and the fan isn’t very good. It’s absolutely fucking boiling in there and I haven’t a clue what to do about it. Might find a park bench. Still would be a step up from Glasgow, I suppose.

Have you tried taking off your jumper?

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