whiskychimp Posted June 10, 2017 Share Posted June 10, 2017 1 hour ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Just found a pube in my top oven. Euphemism 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted June 10, 2017 Share Posted June 10, 2017 Customer: Did you see the game? Me: No, I've been working. Please don't tell me anything about it, as I'm going to watch it when I get home and pretend it's live. Customer: 2-2 WINNING UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE GRIFFITHS SCORED TWO!!! Me: 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted June 10, 2017 Share Posted June 10, 2017 4 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Just found a pube in my top oven. Don't panic - a hair proves nothing other than he was in your house. Finish the pies tonight and nobody will ever know the truth. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 On 2017-6-10 at 10:25, deej said: Don't all hotels have these as standard? Be fair, he's only stayed in Salvation Army hostels until now. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 Grass was finally dry for the first time in over a week. Pretty sure it grew 5 inches in a day or two earlier this week after that downpour and now it's like a meadow with all those wheat-like heads. Anyway... OH put washing out this morning which had just dried, so I went out to take it down so I could cut the grass in this rare window of opportunity whilst at home. As soon as I take the first step outside, it pisses it down for one f***in' minute and now everything's soaked again, in the sunshine just to rub it in. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 Every time I go out to finish staining the garden fence it starts to fucking rain 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 24 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said: Grass was finally dry for the first time in over a week. Pretty sure it grew 5 inches in a day or two earlier this week after that downpour and now it's like a meadow with all those wheat-like heads. Anyway... OH put washing out this morning which had just dried, so I went out to take it down so I could cut the grass in this rare window of opportunity whilst at home. As soon as I take the first step outside, it pisses it down for one f***in' minute and now everything's soaked again, in the sunshine just to rub it in. Did you spot any future politicians running through it? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 15 minutes ago, Bairnardo said: No, honest guv, I've done at least half of it. Need it done pronto before decking goes down. Fucking rain 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 I went to feed ducks today and it started raining as I was parking up. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bennett Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 1 hour ago, Hedgecutter said: Grass was finally dry for the first time in over a week. Pretty sure it grew 5 inches in a day or two earlier this week after that downpour and now it's like a meadow with all those wheat-like heads. Anyway... OH put washing out this morning which had just dried, so I went out to take it down so I could cut the grass in this rare window of opportunity whilst at home. As soon as I take the first step outside, it pisses it down for one f***in' minute and now everything's soaked again, in the sunshine just to rub it in. Do what the council does and cut it while the rains pishing doon and leave grass cuttings all over the place. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 No issue, just joining in the fun [emoji1] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capybara Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 Those wee labels on boxers and polo shirts. I have to cut them out. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 Flies 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 15 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: I've just bitten into and swallowed some of a bag of bouquet garni. Fresh breath though. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmic Joe Posted June 12, 2017 Share Posted June 12, 2017 13 hours ago, Boghead ranter said: Fresh breath though. You're thinking of pot pourri... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
topcat(The most tip top) Posted June 12, 2017 Share Posted June 12, 2017 You're thinking of pot pourri... Rangers fans hate that kind of thing 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted June 12, 2017 Share Posted June 12, 2017 Having woken up with a splitting headache, blocked sinuses and a nose that can't decide whether to run or cut off the airway, I think bad AIDS has finally got me. It's been a pleasure, P&B. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widge Posted June 12, 2017 Share Posted June 12, 2017 Having woken up with a splitting headache, blocked sinuses and a nose that can't decide whether to run or cut off the airway, I think bad AIDS has finally got me. It's been a pleasure, P&B. Similar to me, woke up with blocked sinuses and a very sore throat. I've gone for the overdose on readily available drugs and hope that works. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz FFC Posted June 12, 2017 Share Posted June 12, 2017 Didn't sleep at all last night and am now just gonnae power through the next 11 hours on zero sleep. Happy fucking days 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted June 12, 2017 Share Posted June 12, 2017 1 hour ago, Angusfifer said: You're thinking of pot pourri... Oh aye Dafuq is bouquet garni then? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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