Swarley Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 Bloody immigrants. Coming to our country and demanding that we stop allowing immigrants in. Who do they think they are UKIP? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 Had a debate about the refugee crisis in my class today. I have got some extremely right-wing 8 year olds. My daughter (10) came home the other day with a certificate to show she had completed an awareness course in people trafficking. My mum used to do primary supply teaching in some tough areas. On the subject of what the kids wanted to do when they grew up, one said he wanted to be a policeman in South Africa "so he could shoot the blacks". 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 My daughter (10) came home the other day with a certificate to show she had completed an awareness course in people trafficking. Is she thinking of taking it as a Standard Grade? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 Is she thinking of taking it as a Standard Grade? Maybe Mozza could offer some extra curricular tuition? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH33 Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 Burst car tyre this morning. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 Maybe Mozza could offer some extra curricular tuition? Mozza seems to be the P&B beast at everything? Grimbo Eta drat that damn autocorrect. Obviously meant beast, oh there it goes again, b e s t. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 Is she thinking of taking it as a Standard Grade? It did read a bit like a five point plan to not getting rumbled. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invergowrie arab Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 The boy beside me at meeting is putting his full weight on the table and moving it all the way through the meeting. He also has a stupid face. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 Burst car tyre this morning. Why did you do that? That surely would have enhanced your journey time! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rudolph Hucker Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 The boy beside me at meeting is putting his full weight on the table and moving it all the way through the meeting. He also has a stupid face. He's probably pissed off at you sitting fiddling with your phone during the meeting. -4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 Im desperate for money tbf. If it's not a personal question, have you got a functioning finger? If yes, then what about the fanny fiddler that was advertised on another thread? Anything has to be better than just being a useless c**t, eh? Grimbo Eta happy to be referee if required. Despite what most think I am from a good home & I'm pvg'd. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hampden Diehard Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 Tried to get travel insurance online for my auld mum (who is very old) and, of course, I am now bombarded by old-people type spam as I forgot to tick the "no marketing" box. This has included, yesterday, a £250 voucher towards my own funeral. I am now seeing snipers everywhere. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smurph Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 Football commentators who say "Shrowsbury" instead of "Shrewsbury" despite being told how to pronounce it properly by a local and also the fact that there is no such animal as a shrow. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 Able bodied people who stop the lift twice to go one floor up. Lazy, lazy c****. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 Tried to get travel insurance online for my auld mum (who is very old) and, of course, I am now bombarded by old-people type spam as I forgot to tick the "no marketing" box. This has included, yesterday, a £250 voucher towards my own funeral. I am now seeing snipers everywhere. I got one of these once that was only valid for 6 months. Not the most sensitive of marketing if truth be told. PS for any of you sarky c***s out there it was over 6 months ago I got it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invergowrie arab Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 I got one of these once that was only valid for 6 months. Not the most sensitive of marketing if truth be told. PS for any of you sarky c***s out there it was over 6 months ago I got it. A double tragedy. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milton75 Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 On Saturday I attended quite possibly the worst Stag do in the history of the world. It's a long post so have put it in spoilers. The stag began at Codonas in Aberdeen. For those not familiar with Codonas this is a family place with bowling, air hockey, grab machines, crazy golf etc. It's basically for kids and students with nothing better to do. One game of bowling, half a round of crazy golf, 2 go's on the dodgems and that was all we did. Thankfully there was alcohol to be had at the bar there! So of course there is a kitty. Before I start I feel that I should explain that I bloody hate kittys unless it's at a staff night out where everybody is drinking the same sort of stuff. As somebody who tends to just drink pints I always end up short changed as folk get doubles in etc. I'm not a heavy drinker and hate not being able to just get what I want. This kitty started with a round of pints (either Fosters or Kronenbourg - shite) before heading straight to Vodka & red bulls. I'm not a fan of vodka but fair enough - it's a stag I'll drink it. Then all of a sudden the guy with the kitty has gone. He's nowhere to be found and not answering his phone. Turns out he's went off to Burger King and didn't think of telling any of us. Eventually he reappeared but by that point only a couple of us had more drink and most folk were a bit pissed off. Again - it's a stag so let's forget it and just get on with it. So we soon departed and headed into town to a bar called Krakatoa (used to be Moorings). This is a cracking bar full of different beers and spirits. The first round? Corona. Fucking Corona. Any beer which requires a fecking fruit to be jammed into it to give it flavour is a no from me. Again I drank it without complaint and asked about the next drink (after topping up the kitty earlier). "Don't worry lads the next round is already ordered" we were told - "ordered it with the same time as the Corona". 35 minutes later the barman comes over with a tray of pina coladas which had taken him 45 minutes to make. 7 of them and some death drink for the stag which came in a skull glass and actually tasted better than the pina colada. Just to confirm - so far I've had: a pint of Fosters, a vodka & red bull, Corona and Del-Boys favourite cocktail and this was over the course of about 4 hours. Wild. At 7 we had booked for food at a casino which for £15.00 saw us get 1 of anything from the menu for food, a drink and a free £5 chip. Finally the night started to improve here - we all had the drinks we wanted and it was a laugh. We all went to a roulette table and all put our bets on. Out of the 8 of us - 3 of us won, 5 lost all their money straight away. The stag then proceeded to go in the huff and sit in the corner on the phone to his fiance while the 3 of us who had won were still gambling. I ended up about £30 up, one gained about £10 and the last man standing won about £200 and was fuming when he was made to leave by the stag, who was bored out his tits as he didn't go to the bar for a drink and didn't want to use his own for gambling. It was his fecking idea to go to the casino apparently! So where's best to go after this? A gay bar obviously! Never been into Cheerz before but have heard it's good for a drink if nothing else. KARAOKE NIGHT! Straight in and straight back out again. So we head round the corner to Casc. Casc is by far one of the better pubs in Aberdeen if you like craft beers and cigars. Of course once again the man with the kitty decides to order a round of drinks for everybody, totally ruining the whole point of a pub like this by getting the cheapest one with the lowest alcohol percentage. Casc has 20 odd taps with different types of beer that you can try and then take your pick. Clearly he went for the first one he saw and just hoped we'd all enjoy. Thankfully it tasted bloody lovely and we were outside in the heated 'cigarden' with beers and cigars. Finally this was turning into a stag party! For 1 minute. The stag described the place as pretentious, saying he'd lost his buzz and was away to the Spirit Level down the road. Now we've 8 beers out and cigars that really can only be smoked here with a drink, so 6 of us stay and one of the guys goes off with the stag. Not good form letting him go but in fairness most of us were pissed off with him as he wouldn't say what he wanted to do and then moaned at every place we suggested. So we finish our beers and cigars and head to the Spirit Level. Now 2 of the guys had already left to head down there so we went expecting to meet 4 of the guys there but there was only 3. The kitty man has disappeared again! This after we had tried to convince him to let somebody else have it after the pina colada round! Turns out he's went and got a train home to Inverurie without saying bye and with the bloody money! In the Spirit Level you couldn't move for people, couldn't get near the bar and there was a bunch of middle aged people dancing away to a God awful singer. Not my scene and unsurprisingly not the scene for the rest of the group so we left. The stag was complaining about being sober (after only drinking red bull in the Spirit Level where he was for about 40 minutes) so we went to Triple Kirks. A place where we used to go all the time when we worked together (5/6 years ago) - cheap . The kitty man has finally answered his phone and transferred the money back online so we have £30 for drinks (even though there should have been at least £50 in there by my calculations). I ask for a pint and a few of us head off to grab the only table which happens to be next to a table of drunken girls. The stag then comes over complaining that none of us have told them what the want to drink and that we're not having beer as he's not feeling drunk. The outcome? Another round of Vodka & Red bulls! Now I'm sitting next to Mr Spoon who I've never met before and appears to have just tagged along from the Spirit Level listening to him go on about the strippers that he recommends for later that night when a round of sambucas appear. The final drink would be another fucking Vodka & Red bull before I decided to call it a night. Total waste of a day, waste of money and a waste of what could have been a cracking piss up. Home by midnight as well. After I left they went back to the gay bar before going to the strippers. I'll probably get stick on here for leaving but you've no idea how dull a day it was. Can't wait for the wedding day.... A few things occur here. 1) You do realise that being part of a kitty doesn't traditionally mean you all have to drink the same shite? It can be convenient for speed to do that, but it doesn't sound like you lot were exactly powering through the drinks anyway. Should you find yourself in this situation again, just write a list of everyone's preferred drink and hand it to the bar staff each time you get a round. It makes their lives easier and gets everyone a non-shite drink quicker. 2) The Kitty guy sounds a total bell. Was his brother ashamed/apologetic about him? 3) The groom also sounds a bell. You should ditch this crowd. Are you boys in for a treat! The first guy with the long hair's story about his pub crawl was mildly diverting. The other guy was an unfunny twat. For this reason Shroosbury wins for me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 Tried to get travel insurance online for my auld mum (who is very old) and, of course, I am now bombarded by old-people type spam as I forgot to tick the "no marketing" box. This has included, yesterday, a £250 voucher towards my own funeral. I am now seeing snipers everywhere. I had to arrange travel insurance for my ancient parents. They got as far as the airport when my Mother collapsed and got hospitalised. Saga were really good, very helpful and very quick full refund, and easy to apply for re pre existing conditions etc. Slightly more expensive than the cheapest alternatives but I've heard a few stories from friends who have been left abandoned abroad by dodgy insurance firms. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raidernation Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 Anyway, a fucking University in Shrewsbury? Do they do degrees in finger-fiddling? Career minded courses? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 Get your stag out on a piss-up with Deeboy and MONKMAN. Shock some life into him. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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