What's the worst thing you've ever done?

[Florentine_Pogen]

On 23/03/2023 at 23:13, johnnydun said:

 Not a chance I can give details of the worst thing's I have done, that will between me and a real Priest on my death bed.

A couple of misdemeanours I can share, when I was a teenager I was a bit of a fire bug and burned down a health club and a golf club house.

You sure that was all you did, Phoenix ?

https://www.heraldscotland.com/default_content/12368762.greenkeepers-find-burning-body-carnoustie-golf-course/

[johnnydun]

7 minutes ago, Florentine_Pogen said:

You sure that was all you did, Phoenix ?

https://www.heraldscotland.com/default_content/12368762.greenkeepers-find-burning-body-carnoustie-golf-course/

No, I can confirm that one wasn't me.

[Joe Terrapin]

I had a phone number one digit out from a busy Glasgow lawyer and used to get phone calls in the middle of the night(pre mobile days)from family members wanting me to immediately head to local nick and represent their poor wee innocent scrotes against injustice and repression . I initially explained the confusion but got so fed up of being woken up I eventually decided to assume the identity of the lawyer and assured the caller I would immediately attend and represent their loved one(s).

[tongue_tied_danny]

1 hour ago, Joe Terrapin said:

I had a phone number one digit out from a busy Glasgow lawyer and used to get phone calls in the middle of the night(pre mobile days)from family members wanting me to immediately head to local nick and represent their poor wee innocent scrotes against injustice and repression . I initially explained the confusion but got so fed up of being woken up I eventually decided to assume the identity of the lawyer and assured the caller I would immediately attend and represent their loved one(s).

^^^ Giovanni Di Stefano

[Sweet Pete]

Had one of those mini kegs of beer aged around 18. After a few pints you need to open the air bung in the top to allow it to continue to flow. Next day few pints left in it when my annoying mate popped round. Me and my other mate cracked cans from the fridge and knowing the annoying lad would be after poncing our beer, I waited until he was distracted, took the mini keg to the bathroom, pished into the air bung then returned the mini keg to the kitchen and invited him to "help himself to the keg". He had 3 pints and never complained once.

[johnnydun]

1 hour ago, Sweet Pete said:

Had one of those mini kegs of beer aged around 18. After a few pints you need to open the air bung in the top to allow it to continue to flow. Next day few pints left in it when my annoying mate popped round. Me and my other mate cracked cans from the fridge and knowing the annoying lad would be after poncing our beer, I waited until he was distracted, took the mini keg to the bathroom, pished into the air bung then returned the mini keg to the kitchen and invited him to "help himself to the keg". He had 3 pints and never complained once.

Probably thought it was Stella.

[fuzzydunlop]

19 hours ago, Joe Terrapin said:

I had a phone number one digit out from a busy Glasgow lawyer and used to get phone calls in the middle of the night(pre mobile days)from family members wanting me to immediately head to local nick and represent their poor wee innocent scrotes against injustice and repression . I initially explained the confusion but got so fed up of being woken up I eventually decided to assume the identity of the lawyer and assured the caller I would immediately attend and represent their loved one(s).

had a similar thing. Our landline was one digit different from a local letting agency helpline.  We started getting messages on our answering machine from folk complaining about various things regarding their accommodation.

When lockdown hit and I was working from home I started getting the calls during the day.  The thing was folk would automatically start ranting at me before I had the chance to explain it was a wrong number.

Eventually I took to just responding to their complaints with "I dont give a f*ck mate",  "just deal with it and stop moaning", "who the f*ck are you talking to ya c*nt?!",  and allsorts of other responses that started to get more surreal as time went on.  Only stopped cos the wife kept having ago at me for being childish but it did keep me occupied during lockdown for a bit.    

[buchan30]

When i was 19, i had my first long term relationship and woke up one morning and just thought, I don’t fancy this anymore. No reason whatsoever and the lassie was nice, didn’t do f**k all for me to justify it. 
I was very dismissive of her attempts to talk me around. It was a shitey attitude to have. I hadn’t met anyone else or that. I could have taken her back there and then, but in my mind I didn’t want one of these on/off relationships (we had previously had a 3 month thing the year before, but mutually called it off due to us not really seeing each other in that time due to things going on) Actually spent the next 18 months in the dating wilderness, so maybe a bit of karmic retribution for it. 
Reached out to her a few years back on social media and apologised for it all. She was forgiving, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she was deep down (justifiably) F you ya so and so. I think i learned from it though and even though i had a couple of flings before i met my wife, i was probably a better person and a bit more mature and learned to put all i can into relationships, instead of being an arse.

[The_Kincardine]

3 minutes ago, buchan30 said:

When i was 19, i had my first long term relationship and woke up one morning and just thought, I don’t fancy this anymore. No reason whatsoever and the lassie was nice, didn’t do f**k all for me to justify it. 

I was very dismissive of her attempts to talk me around. It was a shitey attitude to have. I hadn’t met anyone else or that.

As a father of 3 early 20-somethings - for whom relationships can appear on a constant knife-edge - that's pretty mature.  "Thanks, see ya"  is pretty common.

[buchan30]

2 minutes ago, The_Kincardine said:

As a father of 3 early 20-somethings - for whom relationships can appear on a constant knife-edge - that's pretty mature.  "Thanks, see ya"  is pretty common.

I can’t imagine how hard it is now. Looking back and typing it out, at the time i felt i was doing the right thing but probably just couldn’t see past my own nose. 

[The_Kincardine]

3 minutes ago, buchan30 said:

I can’t imagine how hard it is now. Looking back and typing it out, at the time i felt i was doing the right thing but probably just couldn’t see past my own nose. 

You did do something right.  You 'broke it off' (no need for a reason) and moved on.  That's a wee bit rare.

[buchan30]

1 minute ago, The_Kincardine said:

You did do something right.  You 'broke it off' (no need for a reason) and moved on.  That's a wee bit rare.

I suppose, now as a mature adult (which I obviously wasn’t at the time, despite what I probably thought) she hadn’t done anything to deserve it ending like that and my as i say, shitty attitude. we got on well etc.

[The_Kincardine]

2 minutes ago, buchan30 said:

I suppose, now as a mature adult (which I obviously wasn’t at the time, despite what I probably thought) she hadn’t done anything to deserve it ending like that and my as i say, shitty attitude. we got on well etc.

You're fine, china.  And in the context of a 'worst thing' thread, your calumny barely registers.  Let yourself off the hook.

[Boo Khaki]

I once stood in among a load of Arabs and watched Dundee win a Dundee Derby from the TC Keay end at Dens. It was a bet by former schoolmates that I wouldn't do it. But DFC won the match, I won the bet, and I managed to restrain myself from giving it a GIRFUY and getting my head kicked in when Joe McBride's freekick went 'ping' when it hit the inside of the post then nestled into the back of the net.

I've said 10 'Alan Gilzeans' before bed every night since just on the off chance there is an afterlife and I have to give an account of myself.

 

Edited March 29, 2023 by Boo Khaki

[Hedgecutter]

Saying "Hmmm, that's quite clever actually" on the Auschwitz tour whilst being told about the shower room to incinerator setup.

 

[RuMoore]

Nowhere near the worst things I've done but still probably the best to share. 

1. I was at some friend of a friend's party, was quite a shit party, pretty much a meeting of wronguns on the weekend after dole day, the home owner was playing music through an old TV, one of the ones that had a DVD part on the side. After arriving I pretty quickly decided this wasn't what I wanted to be doing for the weekend even if the other options were limited so I bailed but before I went I thought it would be funny to put into the telly a Justin Bieber album, the owner wasn't in the house at that point and I turned it up full blast and left to go to the local clubs.

Next day I wake up and find out the guy already had a noise complaint sort of thing so the police had came round and confiscated his TV as that's where the music was coming from, had to wait about a month til he got it back...

2. Years ago after watching the Prison Break finale I went onto Twitter and found people that had posted "#S4E13" or whatever the second last episode was and searched chronologically and posted the ending to all the people that had recently shared how much they were looking forward to the ending. 

[SlipperyP]

21 minutes ago, RuMoore said:

Nowhere near the worst things I've done but still probably the best to share. 

1. I was at some friend of a friend's party, was quite a shit party, pretty much a meeting of wronguns on the weekend after dole day, the home owner was playing music through an old TV, one of the ones that had a DVD part on the side. After arriving I pretty quickly decided this wasn't what I wanted to be doing for the weekend even if the other options were limited so I bailed but before I went I thought it would be funny to put into the telly a Justin Bieber album, the owner wasn't in the house at that point and I turned it up full blast and left to go to the local clubs.

Next day I wake up and find out the guy already had a noise complaint sort of thing so the police had came round and confiscated his TV as that's where the music was coming from, had to wait about a month til he got it back...

2. Years ago after watching the Prison Break finale I went onto Twitter and found people that had posted "#S4E13" or whatever the second last episode was and searched chronologically and posted the ending to all the people that had recently shared how much they were looking forward to the ending. 

ooft, hard life. I once had odd socks....made me stong, not enough to spell rong.

In the afternoon, I was still looking at the stars....

[Empty It]

Went to a Blink 182 gig whilst my auld man was stuck in a submarine.