Cosmic Joe Posted March 16, 2023 Share Posted March 16, 2023 "Everyone turns into a High Court Judge when someone else farts" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillonearth Posted March 16, 2023 Share Posted March 16, 2023 Upon being introduced to the then-current Miss England whose name was Sue Calf: "Don't ever go to Scotland, hen..." 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raven Posted March 16, 2023 Share Posted March 16, 2023 I am incapable of sitting in an aeroplane seat without observing that aw they people oot there look like ants. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tongue_tied_danny Posted March 16, 2023 Share Posted March 16, 2023 Hungrity hungrity... munchity crunchity. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted March 16, 2023 Share Posted March 16, 2023 Wallop! Jaggy bunnet right on the heid 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coprolite Posted March 16, 2023 Share Posted March 16, 2023 Football violence will never end as long as they're shitting in our shoes and we're pissing in their bovril. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fullerene Posted March 16, 2023 Share Posted March 16, 2023 "This is the Forth Bridge. You'll get beaten up if you ask 'What happened to the third one?'" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StellarHibee Posted March 16, 2023 Share Posted March 16, 2023 "Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that... who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!" 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crawford Bridge Posted March 16, 2023 Share Posted March 16, 2023 None of yer flint pish. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superwell87 Posted March 16, 2023 Share Posted March 16, 2023 1 hour ago, coprolite said: Football violence will never end as long as they're shitting in our shoes and we're pissing in their bovril. Beat me too it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted March 16, 2023 Share Posted March 16, 2023 P&B, 2 hours in and no one has said 'I need somewhere to park my bike' 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
btb Posted March 16, 2023 Share Posted March 16, 2023 I'm a Partick Thistle fan... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted March 16, 2023 Share Posted March 16, 2023 "Ah wuz jus' countin' ma willies." (After being caught having some solitary fun) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superwell87 Posted March 16, 2023 Share Posted March 16, 2023 Do you know who I've always wanted to see? The Swiss army. To see what they do with those wee red knifes. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Al B Posted March 16, 2023 Share Posted March 16, 2023 Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cozy, doesn't try it on. Guy goes to the doctor with hearing problems and the doctor says "Can you describe the symptoms?", and the guy said "Homer is a big fat yellow guy and Marge is a skinny bird with blue hair" 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbornbairn Posted March 16, 2023 Share Posted March 16, 2023 He's shoving his legs through the sleeves of the eiderdown. And who hasn't, when using the loo on a plane, looked for the jobby wheecher? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cairn Terrier Posted March 16, 2023 Share Posted March 16, 2023 About as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbornbairn Posted March 16, 2023 Share Posted March 16, 2023 I was born a Catholic, I've got an A level in guilt. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted March 16, 2023 Share Posted March 16, 2023 Toboggan 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted March 16, 2023 Share Posted March 16, 2023 We’re from Gibrovia, and we don’t give a shit. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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