The Family Feuds Thread

[mathematics]

6 minutes ago, SweeperDee said:

If that’s not love…

Stockholm Syndrome.

[Mark Connolly]

9 minutes ago, Florentine_Pogen said:

Pneumothorax, if you don't mind................................

I seem to remember almost every episode of Casualty in the 90s featuring a pneumothorax or Munchausen by proxy

[Melanius Mullarkey]

6 minutes ago, Mark Connolly said:

I seem to remember almost every episode of Casualty in the 90s featuring a pneumothorax or Munchausen by proxy

It was the UK's House Lupus.

[Dan Steele]

Wedding receptions wouldn't be half as much fun if there were no family feuds.

[Florentine_Pogen]

Just now, The Skelpit Lug said:

Wedding receptions wouldn't be half as much fun if there were no family feuds.

"Ah jist want you tae kno' thit ah've always fvckin' hated you, ya cvnt........"

[DA Baracus]

17 minutes ago, ICTChris said:

I get on very well with my family.  The older I get the more I realise how lucky I was in terms of my parents and the upbringing they gave me - they were reliable, stable, dependable people and we had a calm household without disruptions or drama.  I have friends whose upbringings were full of screaming rows, violence, alcohol abuse, parents playing their chilcren off against each other or using them as pawns etc.  I just can't imagine it.

 

Likewise. My childhood was great and my parents were dependable folk.

Slightly odd relationship with them now though, but we still speak occasionally and I'll be seeing them at Christmas (twice in fact!).

 

Regarding amusing stories, one of my uncles thought that his younger brother hired a professional hitman to kill him. Either this is true and said hitman is very pish given the target is still alive, or the uncle who believes it was somewhat delusional. They were cordial enough at their mother's funeral. No real fireworks there despite the expectation of the potential for some.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

31 minutes ago, Florentine_Pogen said:

"Ah jist want you tae kno' thit ah've always fvckin' hated you, ya cvnt........"

"I do"

[Zen Archer (Raconteur)]

2 hours ago, SlipperyP said:

My mum had 13 brothers or sisters

It's difficult to tell if you relied on hand-me-downs.

[pub car king]

Hedgecutter my man. I don't wish to cast aspersions about your maw, however it seems there is one common denominator in all your family's falling outs and it's her. 

[Hedgecutter]

2 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkay said:

Can we have more punctured lung stories please rather than this turning into a Mumsnet/Dear Deirdre thread ffs. 

I once witnessed my dad driving down the road with my mums lower half  hanging out of the car window, kicking and screaming.  The repeated "get your head out of my car or I'm driving away" warnings went unheeded.  Needed police supervised hand-overs (like being in some DMZ) after that particular incident.

[Miguel Sanchez]

2 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said:

I once witnessed my dad driving down the road with my mums lower half  hanging out of the car window, kicking and screaming.  The repeated "get your head out of my car or I'm driving away" warnings went unheeded.  Needed police supervised hand-overs (like being in some DMZ) after that particular incident.

It's a wonder you're as normal as you are.

[Richey Edwards]

My older brother once jabbed me in the eye with a lit sparkler. I still bring it up occasionally.

[Central Belt Caley]

My dad and his brother don’t get on, when my Gran was diagnosed with Dementia my dad spent so much time organising care/clubs/power of attorney for her. Then when she had deteriorated and was in the care home he’d visit her weekly. 
 

On the other hand, my uncle used to go to my grans (when she lived in sheltered housing) and ask for a “loan” of money and even swapped his tv with hers cause hers was better When she died a few years back he  gathered everyone round at the funeral and made a speech purely to have a go at my dad. Was expecting fists to be flying but my old man got up and walked out, being the bigger person and all that. (Also one of his daughters couldn’t be arsed turning up to the funeral but was quite happy cashing the cheque for what she had been left in the will).
 

I’ve not seen or spoke to my uncle since that day. He messaged me on Facebook a couple of weeks later asking if I fancied going for a few pints but just ignored his message. 

Everyone else in my close family gets on pretty well, parents are still together and I see them regularly and I get on well with my sister. 

[sophia]

1 hour ago, Richey Edwards said:

My older brother once jabbed me in the eye with a lit sparkler. I still bring it up occasionally.

That must stick in your craw 

[philpy]

The wife Is cutting all ties with her sister. She had a silver wedding anniversary weekend away "with close friends and family" and never gave a thought to giving us an invite, she's generally never let me and the wife within her wee social inner circle,  despite the wife and I always inviting her and the husband out for a meal or a few drinks , which always in turn ends up with them with conveniently "busy". But if she needs someone to look after the dog or give her a lift away over the other side of Edinburgh,  it's a different story. The Is the same woman who a few years ago, asked us to go to theirs on new years day and bring our steak pie down so her husband could get a bit. Sorry hen, you can f**k right off now. 

[Benjamin_Nevis]

6 hours ago, coprolite said:

My wife managed to keep hidden, until after birthing our eldest, that she's an absolute psycho. She now has grudges against all of my family, which are substantially imaginary or recalled with increasingly unhinged inaccuracy. 

You should try stowing away in Hedgecutter's suitcase imo

[HeWhoWalksBehindTheRows]

7 hours ago, mathematics said:

My aunt stabbed my uncle with a bread knife on Christmas Eve. Punctured his lung and he was in hospital for a wee while.

They’re still together.

 

[Darren]

2 hours ago, Richey Edwards said:

My older brother once jabbed me in the eye with a lit sparkler. I still bring it up occasionally.

That's some trick, you should audition for Britain's Got Talent.

[Shotgun]

My best mate growing up was, and still is, sound as f**k. His sister however, is a screaming lunatic - permanently aggrieved over some perceived slight or other and carrying multi-year grudges over the most trivial of issues. His brother somehow managed to marry a woman even more psychotic and the pair of them are constantly at war. What's worse is they both expect the rest of the family to take sides whenever they have a falling out, and are incensed when that doesn't happen. In the 50+ years I've known them, I don't think there's been a single time when the whole family could be in a room without a riot.

[TxRover]

9 hours ago, mathematics said:

My aunt stabbed my uncle with a bread knife on Christmas Eve. Punctured his lung and he was in hospital for a wee while.

They’re still together.

Did she accuse him of loafing?

A least he got the point…

@Hedgecutter, go see him if you want…it’s your life, not hers.