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The Official ‘Hi-Risk Anus PM’ Clusterfuck Thread


Granny Danger

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2 hours ago, lichtgilphead said:

I've heard plenty stories about "Party X" activists going round old folks homes, asking the residents to sign & provide their date of birth on the postal voting statement, but not actually giving them the ballot paper. I wonder who all these voters end up voting for?

I also used to undertake the presiding officer role at elections. As you could see the polling station from my front door, it was all my friends, relatives & neighbours that were voting . I would personally know around 1/3 of the voters, and my polling clerk would also know around 1/3. Anyone trying a bit of personation was taking a hell of a risk of being recognised or the personation being discovered when the real voter turned up later.

The postal vote is far simpler to cheat, but strangely, DPB's party of choice don't seem to be bothered. Funny that.

I heard that the Tories in South Edinburgh gave a lift to a load of Gilmerton pensioners at an election years ago 

The pensioners smiled, thanked their kind helpers and then, being members of the local branch, all voted SNP. 

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1 hour ago, Jeff Venom said:

Absolute guarantee that Gavin Williamson wouldn't talk that way to anyone either, a) not a woman, b) anyone older than 17. 

Totally insecure shitebag, fragile tragedy of a man which, coincidentally, seems to be a theme of the right wing. 

I can't work out whether I'm more amazed that a guy who was quoted as saying "Russia needs to shut up and go away" is a) capable of bullying anyone, or b) has been knighted. 

Holy f**k.

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Tory Government: each day before sunrise, DPB shall be kicked squarely in the bollocks at least three times. 
 

DPB: this is a fantastic policy, we’ve become far to accustomed to not having our testicles volleyed. 

Edited by stumobir
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I've heard plenty stories about "Party X" activists going round old folks homes, asking the residents to sign & provide their date of birth on the postal voting statement, but not actually giving them the ballot paper. I wonder who all these voters end up voting for?
I also used to undertake the presiding officer role at elections. As you could see the polling station from my front door, it was all my friends, relatives & neighbours that were voting . I would personally know around 1/3 of the voters, and my polling clerk would also know around 1/3. Anyone trying a bit of personation was taking a hell of a risk of being recognised or the personation being discovered when the real voter turned up later.
The postal vote is far simpler to cheat, but strangely, DPB's party of choice don't seem to be bothered. Funny that.
I suspect both arse cheeks will be guilty of this.
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R!shi may be marginally less simple than his two predecessors (oh how I want to be able to write "predeceasers", even if it isn't a word) but his judgement is just as atrocious, particularly when awarding cabinet posts to the unqualified and psychotic.

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1 hour ago, Bad Wolf said:

R!shi may be marginally less simple than his two predecessors (oh how I want to be able to write "predeceasers", even if it isn't a word) but his judgement is just as atrocious, particularly when awarding cabinet posts to the unqualified and psychotic.

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2022/nov/09/rishi-sunak-too-weak-to-stand-up-to-cartoon-bully-williamson-says-starmer

"Rishi Sunak proved unable to stand up to “a cartoon bully with a pet spider”, Keir Starmer said during PMQs as he focused on the departure of Gavin Williamson from the cabinet to castigate the prime minister for being weak and lacking principle."

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1 hour ago, Bad Wolf said:

R!shi may be marginally less simple than his two predecessors (oh how I want to be able to write "predeceasers", even if it isn't a word) but his judgement is just as atrocious, particularly when awarding cabinet posts to the unqualified and psychotic.

He’s trying to hold together a Parliamentary group who are very divided, a task that’s not going to get any easier.  Trying to keep factions and key individuals onside as it becomes apparent that certain policies are being jettisoned and lots of Parliamentary seats are in danger should cause him real problems for the rest of the Parliament.

Its a good time to invest in popcorn suppliers.

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https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2022/nov/10/poor-rich-tories-brexit-austerity-cameron-osborne-sunak

"Many of the faces, from Liz Truss to Michael Gove, have stayed the same over the last decade, as has much policy. Kwasi Kwarteng’s supposedly radical plan for growth took up George Osborne’s ideas of corporation tax cuts and ditching the top rate of income tax. He merely deployed them at breakneck speed, as if setting all the coalition budgets to the Benny Hill theme tune.

Indeed, the greatest element missing from this supposed tale of two Tory halves is economics – in particular, the kind of austerity economics that will be imposed on the country in next Thursday’s budget. That is when Hunt will try to suck £50bn to £60bn out of the economy, the bulk of that money coming from our public services. It will be not the second but the third wave of austerity since 2010 (many forget the cuts made by Sunak at No 11 as the pandemic eased). Each has been about disciplining poor people and protecting the rich, and each has come with a fresh wave of authoritarianism. Just look at what they introduced this year in the Police, Crime, Sentencing and Courts Act, banning protests and locking up those who take part in them for a year.

First they stole our money, then they robbed our right to protest. And now they are taking away our right to strike too. The very same prime minister who just days ago stood on the steps of Downing Street and promised “integrity and accountability” is pressing ahead with two separate legal attacks on the rights of workers to take industrial action – even allowing drafted-in agency staff to break strikes."

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2 hours ago, SandyCromarty said:

I'm thinking of sending Rashie Sanook a tenner and asking for a peerage, £300 plus a day for a seat and a snooze is a good lift.

If you want to save your money I can let you have some compromising photos you can send him instead.

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14 minutes ago, Billy Jean King said:

Great to see us handing France an increase to £63m to pay for more French police to help push the migrant boats off the beaches towards Blighty.
 

Cleverly refusing to say how the deal will impact migrant numbers.

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/live/2022/nov/14/james-cleverly-uk-france-channel-asylum-seekers-rishi-sunak-g20-uk-politics-latest

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