Job Titles

[SuperSaints1877]

2 minutes ago, oaksoft said:

This sort of shite happens even in academic circles.

Everyone's a "Head" of something.

If anyone feels the need to sex their job title up that really ought to be telling them something.

Software was much easier than this in my day.

Junior, Senior, Principal engineer and then you either went into Management or went Freelance and made some actual money.

Mind you, a guy I used to work with now has the sexy title of "Distinguished Engineer", whatever the f**k that is.

What’s your title now that you are a best selling porn writer?

[SuperSaints1877]

3 minutes ago, oaksoft said:

Honestly?

Retired.

It makes conversations easier and less awkward. 

Next time someone tells me they are “retired” I’ll be keeping my distance from them. 
 

[scottsdad]

One thing about watching TV shows is sometimes they puff up job titles because they don't like the word "unemployed".

Someone on a game show, say, might be a "Law graduate". Code for unemployed. 

Sometimes though you do see things like "Unemployed plumber", for example. Now, to me you're either one or the other, but if you can choose any job to go after the word unemployed, why not make it a good one? "Unemployed astronaut". 

[Florentine_Pogen]

1 minute ago, scottsdad said:

One thing about watching TV shows is sometimes they puff up job titles because they don't like the word "unemployed".

Someone on a game show, say, might be a "Law graduate". Code for unemployed. 

Sometimes though you do see things like "Unemployed plumber", for example. Now, to me you're either one or the other, but if you can choose any job to go after the word unemployed, why not make it a good one? "Unemployed astronaut". 

David Goodwillie - Employable Rapist Footballer ?

[Inanimate Carbon Rod]

Ive found local authorities are really good with daft titles. You go to a multi agency meeting say about gang violence and there’s all these people with impressive titles like ‘head of change’ and ‘stakeholder engagement officer’ who dont really seem to have any clear defined role because when you ask what they can contribute its generally nothing. 

[Mark Connolly]

14 minutes ago, scottsdad said:

One thing about watching TV shows is sometimes they puff up job titles because they don't like the word "unemployed".

Someone on a game show, say, might be a "Law graduate". Code for unemployed. 

Sometimes though you do see things like "Unemployed plumber", for example. Now, to me you're either one or the other, but if you can choose any job to go after the word unemployed, why not make it a good one? "Unemployed astronaut". 

I would never suggest that an unemployed plumber is concerned that the lads at HMRC will be having their tea break when the show goes out

[Venti]

Worked as a forklift driver once & was called an "Expeditor".

[razamanaz]

Worked at the Scottish Ambulance Service for a few years, after one of the many hi-heed yin meetings (Paramedics with huge egos!) it was decided that the Scottish Ambulance Service was now a ''People-Centred Operation''. Christ knows what we'd been dealing with the previous 100 years!

[TheScarf]

57 minutes ago, scottsdad said:

One thing about watching TV shows is sometimes they puff up job titles because they don't like the word "unemployed".

Someone on a game show, say, might be a "Law graduate". Code for unemployed. 

Sometimes though you do see things like "Unemployed plumber", for example. Now, to me you're either one or the other, but if you can choose any job to go after the word unemployed, why not make it a good one? "Unemployed astronaut". 

I suppose technically if you don’t have a job you’re unemployed. But yeah, just say you’re a plumber. The nation doesn’t have to know you’re currently out of work

[btb]

Just now, TheScarf said:

I suppose technically if you don’t have a job you’re unemployed. But yeah, just say you’re a plumber. The nation doesn’t have to know you’re currently not declaring any work

FTFY

[Central Belt Caley]

Subway call the people who make the pieces “Sandwich Artists” which is a bit of a stretch 

[tamthebam]

Are those skilled in preparing hooks for fishing trips Master Baiters?

[Zen Archer (Raconteur)]

Prince William thought his role of hanging out the washing deserved the title of pegger.

[mathematics]

3 hours ago, Central Belt Caley said:

Subway call the people who make the pieces “Sandwich Artists” which is a bit of a stretch 

Eh, excuse me, I was a fucking Dali when it came to building subs.

[BFTD]

Businesses decided years ago that they could trick people into being quiet about wages and conditions by offering a fancier sounding job title and the illusion of grandeur - Subway's Sandwich Artists are one of the most pathetic. They work on a production line with no freedom of thought or action*; there's no artistry involved, and it must feel incredibly patronising for the people working those jobs to be labelled with such a pretentious title.

Now everyone has the job title of Chief, and it just demeans the Indians who actually do the work. They'll end up escalating until you find yourself eating a Big Mac cooked by the Ultimate High Lord of the Grill.

^{* except for the ones who spunk in the mayonnaise (allegedly)}

[mathematics]

2 minutes ago, BFTD said:

except for the ones who spunk in the mayonnaise (allegedly)

FTFY

[BFTD]

6 minutes ago, mathematics said:

FTFY

I knew someone whose roommate worked at Subway, and she enjoyed telling me about the gross stuff they got up to.

Twenty years ago and thousands of miles away, but still I can't bring myself to accept sauce there.

[19QOS19]

My last job title was "Care Practitioner" which was fancy wording for Support Worker. But they justified their nonsense by saying it had to be a different name because Care Practitioner's are a higher Band and do slightly more - it was about 30p an hour more and the only difference was I had to write more in the care plans.

Absolute farce of a company.

[steelmen]

we have a policy here of pick your own email signature and i would say about 90% of people just have what their actual HR appointed job title is but a couple of our network engineers took their competitiveness a bit far.

Both started as Network engineer, then one put senior network engineer, the other responded by putting lead network engineer and of course the other guy put senior lead network engineer.... so after much complaining to their boss (he must have the patience of a saint to keep them both employed) they were told to put it back to Network engineer. couple of days later the qualifications started appearing BSc (hons), CCNA... and of course they started complaining to their boss again and he ended up saying no signatures allow other than Thank you, *****

[RH33]

7 minutes ago, steelmen said:

we have a policy here of pick your own email signature and i would say about 90% of people just have what their actual HR appointed job title is but a couple of our network engineers took their competitiveness a bit far.

Both started as Network engineer, then one put senior network engineer, the other responded by putting lead network engineer and of course the other guy put senior lead network engineer.... so after much complaining to their boss (he must have the patience of a saint to keep them both employed) they were told to put it back to Network engineer. couple of days later the qualifications started appearing BSc (hons), CCNA... and of course they started complaining to their boss again and he ended up saying no signatures allow other than Thank you, *****

New headteacher went into post and insisted on school headed paper his and the two deputes had all there qualifications on it. Dad wasn't keen but head insisted.

Head teacher has BA PGDE. Not even hons.

Dad had his degree and couple post grad things and  as a PhD Dr preceded his name. 

Looked ridiculous.

Currently I'm a Junior Executive Officer.