Squads of horror

[Slipmat]

28 minutes ago, Moomintroll said:

Ronnie McQuilter x 22.

McQuilter and Mole are two names which have cropped up more than once already who could easily push for a place in a Queens 22.

I also just remembered we had Andy Barrowman.  

Still sticking with my original 22... for now... 

ETA - Craig Reid was decent for us too.  Couldn't pass the ball, but good in the tackle and versatile across the whole back line.

Edited April 26, 2022 by Slipmat

[Rovers1992/1993]

GK: Andy McNeil, Pavol Penska, Connor Brennan.
Defenders: Willie Lyle, Nando Mendy, Jean Yves M’Voto, Ross Perry, Eddie Malone, Thierry Gatthuesi.
Midfield: Barrie McKay, Jordan Thompson, Craig Winter, Jimmy Scott, Liam Fox, Scott McBride, Chris Johnston, Rudi Skacel, Jordan Roberts.
Strikers: Jamie Mole, Gordon Smith, Craig Wighton, Lars Lokotsch 
 
Only went as far back as about 2007ish as most stuff before that is pretty hazy but f**k me that is absolutely disgusting. We have had so, so many terrible midfielders. There are so many I’ve left out that would I think could be the worst in many other sides. 
 
Cant believe I forgot Sean Kilgannon. Genuinely think he might be the worst player to play for us in the last 20 years. Just had absolutely nothing. 

Can’t argue with much of that tbh.

Did M’Voto not get player of the season for us? Before single-handedly relegating us with possibly the worst performance I’ve ever seen from an individual. And then signing for Dunfermline what felt like 30 minutes later?

I completely forgot Lars Lokotsch even existed until you mentioned him [emoji23]

I’d also have Jon Daly in there as well, not sure who he’d replace though.

[Hank Scorpio]

1 minute ago, Rovers1992/1993 said:

Did M’Voto not get player of the season for us? Before single-handedly relegating us with possibly the worst performance I’ve ever seen from an individual. And then signing for Dunfermline what felt like 30 minutes later?

Yes. That performance v Brechin is right up there in the ‘worst ever performance in a Rovers strip’ stakes. 

[raith_94]

Jamie Barjonas v Ross Perry H2H looking like going to the wire.

[Hank Scorpio]

1 minute ago, raith_94 said:

Jamie Barjonas v Ross Perry H2H looking like going to the wire.

Barjonas another who missed out on my team by a bawhair.

[smpar]

Kerr Young, Stuart Urquhart and Jonathan Page is the back 3 from hell. 

[Broken Algorithms]

I'll just do one for each position. Can't really be bothered going with a full squad. 

 

 

GK: Ally Brown - Without a doubt, the most comically bad goalkeeper I've seen. We had a backline where, for half a season, Todd Lumsden was the only player who was reasonable. 

DF: Ross Perry - The sending off in this video was in the first minute of the game, and the final minute we had to endure of Perry's abysmal Rovers career. 

MF: Juan Guerrero - Brought in after a couple of trial games in our division 2 winning 08/09 season. Didn't feature much in the first few games prompting cries of "Git the Spaniard oan". Came on against Ayr before being subbed off at half time. I seem to recall Renton sarcastically shouting "But he's got white boots - he MUST be good!". 

FW: Stephen Reynolds - St Johnstone fans assured us he'd be a phenomenon. He'd bagged a record number of goals at youth level and we were very fortunate to be receiving his talents. As it was, he was absolute dugmeat and was last seen working in his family's chippy/ice cream shop in Rothesay allegedly. 

 

 

I've elected not to put in any Anelka players on the basis it would be too easy to just name all of them. 

From last season, it's easy to forget the existence of Adam King and Nathan Cooney on loan from Dundee United. 

[Rob1885]

You are wrong. Very wrong. 

I mean Mcglynn did loan him twice so can't have been that bade surely

[eez-eh]

Resisted any temptation to include current players in this.

GK : Ally Brown; Jack Ruddy

DF : Marc Twaddle; Jim Lauchlan; Austin McCann; Neil McGregor; Scott McKenna; Darren Brownlie; Kyle McAusland

MF : Ryan McStay; Alex Burke; Joe Chalmers; Ally Woodburn; Paul Slane; Grant Gillespie; David Sinclair

FW : Junior Mendes; David Winters; Kris Doolan; Bruce Anderson; Dario Zanatta; Kevin Kyle

I feel like I’m missing some more representation from Roberts’ final season but I think I’ve largely blanked that out. Except I know that Paul Slane was fucking shite.

[Michael W]

Only 22? 

GKs: Ally Brown, Connor Brennan, Andy MacNeil. 

We have had a lot of bad goalkeepers, tbh. These ones were picked because they enjoyed chucking goals away through a high number of mistakes. Who can forget Ally Brown feigning injury after scoring an own goal against Partick? And he got lobbed about eight times that season. Hopeless. 

Defenders: Ross Perry, Jack Perry, Paul Hilland, Willie Lyle, Craig Wedderburn, Chris MacLeod, Joe Dingwall

There's a bias towards full backs here, as we've had a lot of really shit ones. 

It is arguably unfair to include Jack Perry as he was an Anelka signing, but he was loaned from QPR and therefore had the illusion of being a legitimate footballer. He was fucking garbage; probably worse than many of the Anelka no-hopers. Ross Perry can sleep tight knowing he wasn't the worst Perry to play for Raith. f**k knows how that clown managed to rack up so many Scotland U-21 caps. Do not sign players, especially defenders, called Perry.

Paul Hilland looked an absolute unit, but rarely have I seen a guy of his size play in such a powderpuff manner. Bullied by players about half his size. 

Midfielders: Scott McBride, Sean Kilgannon, Chris Johnson, Juan Guerrero, Scott Roberts, Martin Scott

Sean Kilgannon was like playing a man down. Never before have I seen such a useless, anonymous footballer. As a youngster, he came on as a sub for Middlesborough in an EPL game. 

Martin Scott was badged as the fabled 'creative midfielder' that every club craves during the transfer window, arriving with some impressive stats from his spell at Livi. Needless to say he was a total let down. 

Scott Mcbride's yellow.boots instantly drew dislike towards him, which then turned to anger because he was absolutely rubbish. 

Strikers: Stephen Reynolds, James Keatings, Lee Bryce, John Martin, Craig Wighton, David Evans

There are six players there and between them they did not manage to score 10 goals for the Rovers. 

David Evans was signed from Tayport during the Dave Martin Director of Football experiment. A striker that appeared incapable of striking a ball 18 yards at a reasonable pace. Totally hopeless. 

James Keatings scored about a quarter of his career goals against us and was an abject waste of a wage when we signed him. Also the subject of a weird website statement that his body was too weak for full time football. He was released having contributed absolutely nothing. A dreadful signing, but depressingly not the worst in the Forward department this season. 

 

[Slipmat]

6 hours ago, Duke Gekantawa said:

I just noticed this- see my profile pic!- Jukka Santala. For context, my profile name comes from this quality BBC report, still uncorrected: http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/scot_cups/4510862.stm. I can only assume this is a result of saying Jukka Santala slowly through a bad telephone line... (also note McCulloch is McKellar). In fact, looking at that team (McCulloch apart), it's a horror by itself.

Santala did score far too many goals to be considered for inclusion.

Must have been using the same phoneline as the BBC reporter who namechecked Ebbie Malone on a weekly basis.  Either that or they thought his full name was Ebeneezer Malone.

Edited April 26, 2022 by Slipmat

[Adamski]

10 hours ago, Slipmat said:

As the season draws to a close I would like to congratulate Niyah Joseph, Innes Cameron and Ben Liddle on their inclusion in my own personal "Worst Players I've Ever Seen In A QOS Shirt" squad.  They've beaten off a lot of tough competition, but I think they deserve their places on merit.

The squad currently consists of:

GKs  -  Derrick Hoy, Rikki Fergusson, Archie McLean

DFs  -  John Gamble, Mark Campbell, Alan Gillespie, Chris Carr, Tom McDonald, David Smyth, Stuart Hill 

Mids  -  Tony Nelson, John Pelosi, Jake Pickard, Tom Parratt, Niyah Joseph, Stephen Simmons, Ben Liddle

Fwds  -  Emilio Jaconelli, Chris "even worse than Tam Brighton" Armstrong, John Dickson, Paul Heffernan, Innes Cameron

As a disclaimer I realise that there are a vast number of players that I've probably forgotten about or was never unlucky enough to witness in action for Queens who could probably displace some of the above, and as a point of reference my first match was in 1979 and I didn't attend many games in the 1990s, but I'm welcome to suggestions from Queens fans of other fuds you think should be included.

So people, who would make your own gash 22 at your club?

Some great* names from my early years of supporting Queens in there - been a while since a few of them have crossed my mind.

I'd sub out Archie McLean for Willie Cunningham. Callum Antell probably also deserves a shot in goals for that team but the competition is stiff. John Burridge was well past it by the time he turned up at Palmerston. You could probably fill about half the squad with goalies alone.

Scott McLaughlin would do a job in that midfield as well.

 

*Not great.

[callum-ayr]

Jack Scuddy, David Hutton, BJ Corr

Yvves-Anis, Murray Henderson, Austin McCann, Markus Fjortoft, Jack Baird, David Brownlie, Kevin Twaddle

David Sinclair, Ryan McStay, David Hamilton, David Dunn, Ali Woodburn, Paul Slane, Gary Harkins

Kevin Kyle, Craig Beattie, Gavin Friels, Paul Shields, Jamie Thomas, Andy O'Connell

[R.R.FC]

Picked from McGlynn’s first spell onwards because otherwise it would likely just be a Anelka/Dalziel select.

Goalkeepers:

Connor Brennan, Graeme Smith, Andy McNeill

Defenders:

Nando Mendy, Nathan Cooney, Ross Perry, Reece Donaldson, Craig Wedderburn, Joe Dingwall, Kevin McHattie

Midfielders:

Scott Roberts, Chris Johnston, Juan Guerrero, Martin Scott, Rudi Skacel, Craig Winter, Joe Dunbar, Scott McBride

Attackers:

Stephen Reynolds, Denis McLaughlin, Lee Bryce, Craig Wighton

Special mention to the likes of David Syme, Robbie Crawford and David Goodwillie who would undoubtedly make a worst signings squad but because none of them ever kicked a ball for us, they don’t make this team.

I thought before I did this that the likes of Adam King and Blaise Riley Snow would be in with a chance of making the cut but underestimated the sheer amount of guff we have had in midfield over the years.

[Scary Bear]

10 hours ago, Michael W said:

Only 22? 

GKs: Ally Brown, Connor Brennan, Andy MacNeil. 

We have had a lot of bad goalkeepers, tbh. These ones were picked because they enjoyed chucking goals away through a high number of mistakes. Who can forget Ally Brown feigning injury after scoring an own goal against Partick? And he got lobbed about eight times that season. Hopeless. 

Defenders: Ross Perry, Jack Perry, Paul Hilland, Willie Lyle, Craig Wedderburn, Chris MacLeod, Joe Dingwall

There's a bias towards full backs here, as we've had a lot of really shit ones. 

It is arguably unfair to include Jack Perry as he was an Anelka signing, but he was loaned from QPR and therefore had the illusion of being a legitimate footballer. He was fucking garbage; probably worse than many of the Anelka no-hopers. Ross Perry can sleep tight knowing he wasn't the worst Perry to play for Raith. f**k knows how that clown managed to rack up so many Scotland U-21 caps. Do not sign players, especially defenders, called Perry.

Paul Hilland looked an absolute unit, but rarely have I seen a guy of his size play in such a powderpuff manner. Bullied by players about half his size. 

Midfielders: Scott McBride, Sean Kilgannon, Chris Johnson, Juan Guerrero, Scott Roberts, Martin Scott

Sean Kilgannon was like playing a man down. Never before have I seen such a useless, anonymous footballer. As a youngster, he came on as a sub for Middlesborough in an EPL game. 

Martin Scott was badged as the fabled 'creative midfielder' that every club craves during the transfer window, arriving with some impressive stats from his spell at Livi. Needless to say he was a total let down. 

Scott Mcbride's yellow.boots instantly drew dislike towards him, which then turned to anger because he was absolutely rubbish. 

Strikers: Stephen Reynolds, James Keatings, Lee Bryce, John Martin, Craig Wighton, David Evans

There are six players there and between them they did not manage to score 10 goals for the Rovers. 

David Evans was signed from Tayport during the Dave Martin Director of Football experiment. A striker that appeared incapable of striking a ball 18 yards at a reasonable pace. Totally hopeless. 

James Keatings scored about a quarter of his career goals against us and was an abject waste of a wage when we signed him. Also the subject of a weird website statement that his body was too weak for full time football. He was released having contributed absolutely nothing. A dreadful signing, but depressingly not the worst in the Forward department this season. 

 

A good summary but some of these guys - like Wedderburn and Bryce - were squad filler even at the Rovers.

Nobody has mentioned that guy (Craig?) Winter who ‘played’ midfield for us. Was he affectionately known as ‘the ghost’. Cost us £10k to sign from someone, Forfar or Cowdenbeath maybe.

Back in the Iain Munro relegation season we signed an absolutely garage defender called Vetle Andersen. I had seen him try to play for the Pars against Aberdeen back around 1987 and he was so bad that we thought his name was Spish going by what people were calling him. Anyway, he signed for Rovers as our saviour and we were promptly relegated.

Ross Perry is a definite but if we’re going for boys who didn’t play much then Fernandy Mendy must be worth a mention in defence. Looked like a footballer and became a cult hero but all that will stick in my memory years from now was that game against Dundee in the League Cup. That was a car crash of a game for him. It was like he had watched a good few videos of Ross Perry then channelled that spirit into his game. He was responsible for both goals in the first half and lucky not to get sent off. It was so bad you felt sorry for him. I suspect that most folk have a soft spot for him.

Here are some excerpts from the official match report from the Rovers website:

The Dens Park club did take the lead in the 13th minute, but when it arrived, it came as the result of cataclysmic defending. 

A long ball forward really should have been meat and drink for the Rovers defence, but Mendy seemed to get tangled up in his own legs, allowing Nelson the simple task of slotting home past Munro.

A diagonal ball into the area was allowed to bounce, and as Mendy went to clear, his high boot caught Declan McDaid, leaving the referee with little option, allowing Nelson to bag as easy a brace as he’ll ever notch up. 

Rather than close the gap, Dundee were almost out of sight, when Mendy’s attempted pass through the middle was cut out, and from the break, McGowan was presented with a one-on-one, but his finish was fractionally too far to the left, dinking the ball past Munro but striking the outside of the post. 
 

[Ro Sham Bo]

49 minutes ago, Scary Bear said:

A good summary but some of these guys - like Wedderburn and Bryce - were squad filler even at the Rovers.

Nobody has mentioned that guy (Craig?) Winter who ‘played’ midfield for us. Was he affectionately known as ‘the ghost’. Cost us £10k to sign from someone, Forfar or Cowdenbeath maybe.

Back in the Iain Munro relegation season we signed an absolutely garage defender called Vetle Andersen. I had seen him try to play for the Pars against Aberdeen back around 1987 and he was so bad that we thought his name was Spish going by what people were calling him. Anyway, he signed for Rovers as our saviour and we were promptly relegated.

Ross Perry is a definite but if we’re going for boys who didn’t play much then Fernandy Mendy must be worth a mention in defence. Looked like a footballer and became a cult hero but all that will stick in my memory years from now was that game against Dundee in the League Cup. That was a car crash of a game for him. It was like he had watched a good few videos of Ross Perry then channelled that spirit into his game. He was responsible for both goals in the first half and lucky not to get sent off. It was so bad you felt sorry for him. I suspect that most folk have a soft spot for him.

Here are some excerpts from the official match report from the Rovers website:

The Dens Park club did take the lead in the 13th minute, but when it arrived, it came as the result of cataclysmic defending. 

A long ball forward really should have been meat and drink for the Rovers defence, but Mendy seemed to get tangled up in his own legs, allowing Nelson the simple task of slotting home past Munro.

A diagonal ball into the area was allowed to bounce, and as Mendy went to clear, his high boot caught Declan McDaid, leaving the referee with little option, allowing Nelson to bag as easy a brace as he’ll ever notch up. 

Rather than close the gap, Dundee were almost out of sight, when Mendy’s attempted pass through the middle was cut out, and from the break, McGowan was presented with a one-on-one, but his finish was fractionally too far to the left, dinking the ball past Munro but striking the outside of the post. 
 

That Dundee game, I sat in the South Stand at half time and thought Mendy would surely be subbed. When he came out at the start of the second half I upped and left.

[Rob1885]

A good summary but some of these guys - like Wedderburn and Bryce - were squad filler even at the Rovers.
Nobody has mentioned that guy (Craig?) Winter who ‘played’ midfield for us. Was he affectionately known as ‘the ghost’. Cost us £10k to sign from someone, Forfar or Cowdenbeath maybe.
Back in the Iain Munro relegation season we signed an absolutely garage defender called Vetle Andersen. I had seen him try to play for the Pars against Aberdeen back around 1987 and he was so bad that we thought his name was Spish going by what people were calling him. Anyway, he signed for Rovers as our saviour and we were promptly relegated.
Ross Perry is a definite but if we’re going for boys who didn’t play much then Fernandy Mendy must be worth a mention in defence. Looked like a footballer and became a cult hero but all that will stick in my memory years from now was that game against Dundee in the League Cup. That was a car crash of a game for him. It was like he had watched a good few videos of Ross Perry then channelled that spirit into his game. He was responsible for both goals in the first half and lucky not to get sent off. It was so bad you felt sorry for him. I suspect that most folk have a soft spot for him.
Here are some excerpts from the official match report from the Rovers website:

The Dens Park club did take the lead in the 13th minute, but when it arrived, it came as the result of cataclysmic defending. 

A long ball forward really should have been meat and drink for the Rovers defence, but Mendy seemed to get tangled up in his own legs, allowing Nelson the simple task of slotting home past Munro.

A diagonal ball into the area was allowed to bounce, and as Mendy went to clear, his high boot caught Declan McDaid, leaving the referee with little option, allowing Nelson to bag as easy a brace as he’ll ever notch up. 

Rather than close the gap, Dundee were almost out of sight, when Mendy’s attempted pass through the middle was cut out, and from the break, McGowan was presented with a one-on-one, but his finish was fractionally too far to the left, dinking the ball past Munro but striking the outside of the post. 
 

A rovers fan had Craig Winter above. Cowdenbeath legend is Toorie.

[Bad Wolf]

Dugald McCarrison. The alpha and the omega.

[Highland Capital]

For Caley Thistle -

Goalkeepers

Les Fridge, Zibi Malkowski

Defenders

Tom Aldred, Matthew Elsdon, Lewis Horner, Richie Byrne, Phil McGuire

Midfielders

Liam Hughes, Gil Blumenshtein, Claude Gnakpa, Daniel Stratford, Charlie Trafford, Jake Mulraney, Alex Cooper

Forwards

Dani Lopez, Dean McDonald, Gary MacSwegan, Henri Anier, Scott Boden, Feliticiano Zschusschen, John Baird, Andy Barrowman

[Michael W]

1 hour ago, Scary Bear said:

A good summary but some of these guys - like Wedderburn and Bryce - were squad filler even at the Rovers.

Nobody has mentioned that guy (Craig?) Winter who ‘played’ midfield for us. Was he affectionately known as ‘the ghost’. Cost us £10k to sign from someone, Forfar or Cowdenbeath maybe.

Back in the Iain Munro relegation season we signed an absolutely garage defender called Vetle Andersen. I had seen him try to play for the Pars against Aberdeen back around 1987 and he was so bad that we thought his name was Spish going by what people were calling him. Anyway, he signed for Rovers as our saviour and we were promptly relegated.

 

I remember Wedderburn being subbed very quickly (possibly in a game against the Pars) because he was hopeless. Grant Murray brought himself on. I believe he also had a starring role in a 5-0 thumping away to Morton, but thankfully I wasn't there to see it. 

Bryce just goes in because of the "Git Bryce oan" shouts, tbh. 

Edited April 27, 2022 by Michael W