Squads of horror

[TheScarf]

Jamie Goal mare like.

[TheScarf]

And his mate, Goalum Goalliot.

[Duke Gekantawa]

I started following Thistle in 2000, so I'll stick to players this century. I've not included anyone who only played a couple of games, nor anyone who had been good for us for a period (although this may be overly generous for Adam Barton- contender for player of the season for a half-season cameo followed by a truly horrific season where he clearly couldn't be bothered)

Goalkeepers: Colin Stewart, Cammy Bell, Bryn Halliwell

Defence: Jean-Yves Anis, Ziggy Gordon,  Grant Murray, Gabriel Picollo, Sean McGinty, Adrian Madaschi

Midfield:  Steve Fulton, Mark Kerr, Andy Ross, Paul Slane, John-Paul McBride, Mitchell Austin, Darren Brady

Forwards: Stephane Bonnes, Ally Roy, John Baird, Martin Grehan, Leigh Hinds, Paul Keegan

I'm glad to say that none of the present squad is in the running- not even Alegria (although with so many forwards to pick from, not even Pogba made the cut)

Edited April 26, 2022 by Duke Gekantawa
Player name wrong

[velo army]

5 minutes ago, Duke Gekantawa said:

I started following Thistle in 2000, so I'll stick to players this century. I've not included anyone who only played a couple of games, nor anyone who had been good for us for a period (although this may be overly generous for Adam Barton- contender for player of the season for a half-season cameo followed by a truly horrific season where he clearly couldn't be bothered)

Goalkeepers: Colin Stewart, Cammy Bell, Bryn Halliwell

Defence: Jean-Yves Anis, Ziggy Gordon,  Grant Murray, Gabriel Picollo, Sean McGinty, Adrian Madaschi

Midfield:  Steve Fulton, Mark Kerr, Andy Ross, Paul Slane, John-Paul McBride, Mitchell Austin, James Brady

Forwards: Stephane Bonnes, Ally Roy, John Baird, Martin Grehan, Leigh Hinds, Paul Keegan

I'm glad to say that none of the present squad is in the running- not even Alegria (although with so many forwards to pick from, not even Pogba made the cut)

Not having this at all. He was a smashing right back for us. Not the best period for us but he doesnt deserve inclusion here. I also think you're being harsh on Fulton. He was fine with us. 

Juan Seba McBride is a wonderful blast from the past though. He wasn't awful, but Collins bigging him up hilariously meant he could only fail.

Colin Stewart deserves his place. I feel awful for him though. Do you remember him having put in a few consecutive error-strewn performances and in the next game he was visibly shaking in goals? Me and my cousin were yelling for Campbell to sub him. It seemed a cruelty to keep him on the pitch. 

Gk- David Klein, Gary Gow.

DF- McGinty, Kenny Brannigan, Denis Connaghan.

CF- Jorge Cadet, John Gemmil.

I can't think of any other shite as my tired mind has blanked that finnish lump who played up front for us during the Campbell years.

 

[GaryMc93]

Think this is from about 2006 onwards to save going back further. Some are picked based on the performances compared to the reputation they had when they signed and others are included for just being bad. 

GK – Craig Samson, Ally Brown, David Hutton 

DEF – Billy Gibson, Craig Murray, Neil McGregor, Jack Baird, Marc Twaddle, David Lowing, Kevin McKinlay

MID – Paul Slane, Alistair Woodburn, Ryan McStay. Scott McLaughlin, Joe Chalmers, David Hamilton, David Dunn

FWD – Kevin Kyle, Farid El Alagui, Kris Doolan. Ryan Donnelly, Jonathan Afolabi

Tried to pick players with more than 10 appearances so the likes of Stephen McKeown, David O'Brien, Sean Higgins, Frank Ross and Brett McGavin will need to make do with the honourable mention they get here.

[Duke Gekantawa]

12 minutes ago, velo army said:

Not having this at all. He was a smashing right back for us. Not the best period for us but he doesnt deserve inclusion here. I also think you're being harsh on Fulton. He was fine with us. 

Juan Seba McBride is a wonderful blast from the past though. He wasn't awful, but Collins bigging him up hilariously meant he could only fail.

Colin Stewart deserves his place. I feel awful for him though. Do you remember him having put in a few consecutive error-strewn performances and in the next game he was visibly shaking in goals? Me and my cousin were yelling for Campbell to sub him. It seemed a cruelty to keep him on the pitch. 

Gk- David Klein, Gary Gow.

DF- McGinty, Kenny Brannigan, Denis Connaghan.

CF- Jorge Cadet, John Gemmil.

I can't think of any other shite as my tired mind has blanked that finnish lump who played up front for us during the Campbell years.

 

Fulton was unfit and couldn't keep up with the pace by the time he joined us.  Anis is literally the worst defender I have seen in a Jags shirt. I remember him running around like a child chasing the ball and constantly being caught out of position. He did have attacking attributes and probably should have been a winger, but he predominately played in defence for us, where he was awful. Having watched most of a truly terrible season, I did manage to miss the 5-0 thrashing of Livingston when he was apparently unplayable.

[Duke Gekantawa]

19 minutes ago, velo army said:

I can't think of any other shite as my tired mind has blanked that finnish lump who played up front for us during the Campbell years.

 

I just noticed this- see my profile pic!- Jukka Santala. For context, my profile name comes from this quality BBC report, still uncorrected: http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/scot_cups/4510862.stm. I can only assume this is a result of saying Jukka Santala slowly through a bad telephone line... (also note McCulloch is McKellar). In fact, looking at that team (McCulloch apart), it's a horror by itself.

Santala did score far too many goals to be considered for inclusion.

[Ro Sham Bo]

1 hour ago, itzdrk said:

He was backup to Ally Brown. 

You'll do well to find a more damning indictment than that for a goalkeeper.

[THEHonestman1910]

2010 onwards

GK- Jack Ruddy, Jordan Hart, Ally Brown

DEF- Kyle McAusland, Jim Lachlan, Sam Roscoe, Marc Twaddle, Austin Brown, Stuart Duff, Kevin McKinlay

MID - Anthony Marenghi, Ryan McStay, Joe Chalmers, Jon-Paul McGovern, Alex Burke, Dale Shirke, Scott McLaughlin

ATT - Andre Wright, Kevin Kyle, Kris Doolan, Junior Mendez, Dario Zanatta, David Winters, Farid El Alagui

[D'Jaffo]

Just me that remembers Craig Murray being decent in his wee loan spell with us?

Also I really liked JP McGovern. I’m sure most Ayr fans wanted him to stay as well. Came in and was our only decent midfielder and then played fairly well as a sweeper in a back 3 under McCall for the remainder of that season.

That season threw up enough names to almost fill a team though. David Hutton, Kevin McKinlay, Morgyn Neill, Adam Cummins, Dale Keenan, Scott McLaughlin (he was only really dire in this season), Dale Shirkie, Ryan Donnelly, Paul Slane and Craig Beattie. f**k me.

[No_Problemo]

9 minutes ago, D'Jaffo said:

Just me that remembers Craig Murray being decent in his wee loan spell with us?

Also I really liked JP McGovern. I’m sure most Ayr fans wanted him to stay as well. Came in and was our only decent midfielder and then played fairly well as a sweeper in a back 3 under McCall for the remainder of that season.

That season threw up enough names to almost fill a team though. David Hutton, Kevin McKinlay, Morgyn Neill, Adam Cummins, Dale Keenan, Scott McLaughlin (he was only really dire in this season), Dale Shirkie, Ryan Donnelly, Paul Slane and Craig Beattie. f**k me.

Yeah, I liked McGovern - very good on the ball. I don’t think Murray was particularly good, but not in the conversation for worst ever squad IMO. 
 

 

[Richey Edwards]

57 minutes ago, D'Jaffo said:

Also I really liked JP McGovern. I’m sure most Ayr fans wanted him to stay as well. Came in and was our only decent midfielder and then played fairly well as a sweeper in a back 3 under McCall for the remainder of that season.
 

I liked Poundland Stevo.

[Hank Scorpio]

GK: Andy McNeil, Pavol Penska, Connor Brennan.

Defenders: Willie Lyle, Nando Mendy, Jean Yves M’Voto, Ross Perry, Eddie Malone, Thierry Gatthuesi.

Midfield: Barrie McKay, Jordan Thompson, Craig Winter, Jimmy Scott, Liam Fox, Scott McBride, Chris Johnston, Rudi Skacel, Scott Roberts.

Strikers: Jamie Mole, Gordon Smith, Craig Wighton, Lars Lokotsch 

 

Only went as far back as about 2007ish as most stuff before that is pretty hazy but f**k me that is absolutely disgusting. We have had so, so many terrible midfielders. There are so many I’ve left out that would I think could be the worst in many other sides. 
 

Cant believe I forgot Sean Kilgannon. Genuinely think he might be the worst player to play for us in the last 20 years. Just had absolutely nothing. 

Edited April 26, 2022 by Hank Scorpio

[Rob1885]

GK: Andy McNeil, Pavol Penska, Connor Brennan.
Defenders: Willie Lyle, Nando Mendy, Jean Yves M’Voto, Ross Perry, Eddie Malone, Thierry Gatthuesi.
Midfield: Barrie McKay, Jordan Thompson, Craig Winter, Jimmy Scott, Liam Fox, Scott McBride, Chris Johnston, Rudi Skacel, Jordan Roberts.
Strikers: Jamie Mole, Gordon Smith, Craig Wighton, Lars Lokotsch 
 
f**k me that is absolutely disgusting. We have had so, so many terrible midfielders. There are so many I’ve left out that would I think could be the worst in many other sides. 

M'Voto [emoji3059]

[Hank Scorpio]

4 hours ago, Rob1885 said:

IIRC he was decent with the wee team. An absolute haddy with us though.

You are wrong. Very wrong. 

[Zen Archer (Raconteur)]

33 minutes ago, Hank Scorpio said:

GK: Andy McNeil, Pavol Penska, Connor Brennan.

Defenders: Willie Lyle, Nando Mendy, Jean Yves M’Voto, Ross Perry, Eddie Malone, Thierry Gatthuesi.

Midfield: Barrie McKay, Jordan Thompson, Craig Winter, Jimmy Scott, Liam Fox, Scott McBride, Chris Johnston, Rudi Skacel, Jordan Roberts.

Strikers: Jamie Mole, Gordon Smith, Craig Wighton, Lars Lokotsch 

 

Only went as far back as about 2007ish as most stuff before that is pretty hazy but f**k me that is absolutely disgusting. We have had so, so many terrible midfielders. There are so many I’ve left out that would I think could be the worst in many other sides. 
 

Cant believe I forgot Sean Kilgannon. Genuinely think he might be the worst player to play for us in the last 20 years. Just had absolutely nothing. 

You missed out Graeme Smith.

[smpar]

4 hours ago, DAFC. said:

Going to stick to 2010 onwards...

GK - Chris Smith, Deniz Mehmet, Michal Hrivnak 

DEF - Alex Keddie, Ross Graham, Stuart Urquhart, Kyle McAusland, Paddy Boyle, Jim Paterson

MID - Jamie Mole, Paul George, Andy Stirling, Chris Kane, Paul Burns, Sorel Chemin, Kyle Hutton

FWD - Gabby McGill, Robbie Muirhead, Myles Hippolyte

*shudder*

Very harsh on Kyle Hutton IMO. 

[Hank Scorpio]

1 minute ago, Zen Archer (Raconteur) said:

You missed out Graeme Smith.

Had him in until the last minute. Swapped out for Brennan in injury time. 

[Moomintroll]

Ronnie McQuilter x 22.

[diegomarahenry]

I could have named 22 for each area of the park. I have wiped my memory of half the gunk Shanks and the two Rabs signed from junior football. I have also not put any loan signings like Jack Ruddy, David Moss, Dean Wordsworth or Derek Adams. I've also not taken in to account guys who came through the youth set-up and were punted soon after. 

GK

Ally Brown. Thomas Gill.

Defenders

Mark Humphries. Murray Henderson. David Smyth. Allan Gillespie. David Lowing. Steven Swift. Ronnie McQuilter. Gary Paterson.

Midfield

Tony Shepherd. David Sinclair. Ross Tannock. Ryan McStay. Gordon Mair. Anthony Merengi. Cameron Connie

Forwards. 

Julian Dow. Ross Jack. Johnathan Afolabi. Roddie Grant. Craig Beattie.