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Eulogies


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6 minutes ago, oaksoft said:

Are eulogies a new thing?

I've been to about a dozen funerals and have never heard one given.

"a dozen funerals"? Prior to lockdown I used to get to about a dozen funerals a year. Nine, anyway. My wife has enough relations to keep me supplied in funerals for life...

Edited by Jacksgranda
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40 minutes ago, oaksoft said:

Are eulogies a new thing?

I've been to about a dozen funerals and have never heard one given.

Its not a new thing for a family member to get up and say a few words.

Its horses for courses, but many families prefer someone who actually knew the deceased to say something - rather than a cleric who never actually met them (which seemed to be the norm in the 80s) doing the entire gig.

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Had to do three readings at funerals so far, one this week. They’re bad enough, not sure I could do a eulogy though as it’s the personal bits that break me.

Having heard a few, can’t argue with the simple things of “he/she would say this, loved a bit of that and had no time for such and such”. Things that made them happy or proud are worth a mention.

Really hope I go before Mrs Mathematics as she wants me to recite every Arnie one-liner at hers.

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1 hour ago, Jacksgranda said:

"a dozen funerals"? Prior to lockdown I used to get to about a dozen funerals a year. Nine, anyway. My wife has enough relations to keep me supplied in funerals for life...

That number probably won't increase much for me either as we don't really have much to do with either side of the extended family now.

Nine a year is brutal. Can't imagine too many will match that number.

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3 minutes ago, oaksoft said:

That number probably won't increase much for me either as we don't really have much to do with either side of the extended family now.

Nine a year is brutal. Can't imagine too many will match that number.

Plucked that figure out of thin air, tbqh, but I go/went to a substantial number of funerals every year, certainly in the course of my lifetime I've been to a lot more than 12.

I think in the last year there have been about 4 deaths on my wife's side of the family, one on mine, and three here in the village.

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Sorry for your loss and I hope you get enough together to give her the send off she no doubt deserves. 

The best eulogy I've seen personally was a friend of mines died and his wife was giving one and said something along the lines of

"And to all his friends at the snooker hall, thank you. You made him the man he was and he always had a smile on his face thinking about going out and seeing you. Every Friday. Every single Friday. Oh - and just as you all took my husband every Friday to the snooker, his funerals on a Friday so I can keep you all away from that snooker!"

We were all a bubbling mess and it just hit the right spot. 

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Thanks for all the tips and thoughts. Going to get my head around it tomorrow, hopefully. 

Our dad pegged it last June (my brother did his eulogy), and we still have his ashes. As they're both from Dundee we'd planned to sprinkle his ashes at the Ferry at Easter. We can do them both together now, but our sister can say something then.😀

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Think of the biggest lesson your mum taught you, what the qualities and things she did were that you admired most about her. Tell people ‘This is hard to do, but I love my mum and I want you to know why she meant so much…’ then go into a wee short story about a memory or experience that has shaped your life that other people will hear and automatically relate ‘aye thats her alright’. 
I had to do one for my gran, it was awful to write and I had to hold it together big time but I got there, just a couple of wee anecdotes, my gran was a bit of an outrage so managed to make people laugh and that helped, but dont go looking for a ‘joke’ if there isnt one. Just speak from the heart and tell people why you loved her, what she meant and how you’ll go on after this keeping her memory close and the lessons she taught you in your own life. 
 

I am really sorry for your loss, hope you’ve got a decent family/friends support around you and you’re coping as best you can. 

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I've got to do one for my own mum next Wednesday and I've no idea how to start.
She was 82 and had had dementia for at least 18 months, it's very sad for us all but a relief at the same time.
There will be about 30 at the crem and it's being streamed to Austrailia, Canada and Switzerland.
Shitting myself.
First of all, sorry for your loss.

When my dad passed away I sat down to write a few notes to help the minister, and ended up pretty much writing the eulogy for him.

Start with the factual stuff, e.g.
Where and when she was born, her parents, any siblings
How she met your dad, wedding etc
When you and any siblings were born
Work life if she had one

Then on to interests, holidays, any wee stories or memories you or family or friends want to share.

If you aren't used to standing up and speaking in front of folk, my advice would be either to pick one person and speak as if you are talking to them, or pick a spot on a wall or something and talk to it.
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On 20/01/2022 at 14:49, mathematics said:

Had to do three readings at funerals so far, one this week. They’re bad enough, not sure I could do a eulogy though as it’s the personal bits that break me.

Having heard a few, can’t argue with the simple things of “he/she would say this, loved a bit of that and had no time for such and such”. Things that made them happy or proud are worth a mention.

Really hope I go before Mrs Mathematics as she wants me to recite every Arnie one-liner at hers.

You can just play this:

 

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