Popular Post Funky Nosejob Posted January 10, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted January 10, 2022 A thread for those achievements in your life that, when carefully phrased, sound quite impressive but, on closer examination, quickly reveal themselves to be much less so. Maybe you won a prize every year at school prize giving (but it was for “good attendance”) or you won a national swimming title (but it was for breaststroke). I’ll start with… I have been published in a national periodical… Spoiler 24 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted January 10, 2022 Share Posted January 10, 2022 My prize winning artwork was shown on network television Spoiler ... a painting of a steam train for a competition on Grampian TV when I was five. They sent me a car sticker, the cheap Aberdeen b*****ds 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheScarf Posted January 10, 2022 Share Posted January 10, 2022 My massive penis sounds impressive but in reality, isn't, apparently. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Funky Nosejob Posted January 10, 2022 Author Share Posted January 10, 2022 2 hours ago, TheScarf said: My massive penis sounds impressive but in reality, isn't, apparently. Well! This is a fortuitous coincidence! Spoiler Spoiler Page 43. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoonsYouthTeam Posted January 10, 2022 Share Posted January 10, 2022 I've had my artwork published in a national magazine.Thomas the Tank engine magazine when I was 7, for my picture of James (the best engine) going past a farm 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coprolite Posted January 10, 2022 Share Posted January 10, 2022 The old Scottish Universities awarding Masters as honours degrees. Master sounds way cooler than bachelor and it sounds like a postgraduate degree to the uninitiated. Was worth £500 on my starting salary at the civil service that last bit. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genuine Hibs Fan Posted January 10, 2022 Share Posted January 10, 2022 7 minutes ago, coprolite said: The old Scottish Universities awarding Masters as honours degrees. Master sounds way cooler than bachelor and it sounds like a postgraduate degree to the uninitiated. Was worth £500 on my starting salary at the civil service that last bit. Thinking I may abuse this academic curiosity if I am ever applying for jobs overseas 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted January 10, 2022 Share Posted January 10, 2022 I like to tell people I beat Haile Gebreselassie (Olympic champion and half marathon world record holder) at the Great Scottish Run. I usually omit to tell people that he dropped out the race halfway through. 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richey Edwards Posted January 10, 2022 Share Posted January 10, 2022 (edited) I was invited to speak to the Prime Minister on National Television* and it can be seen on YouTube. *that Prime Minister was Boris Johnson. Edited January 10, 2022 by Richey Edwards 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Funky Nosejob Posted January 10, 2022 Author Share Posted January 10, 2022 I coached a five-time olympic athlete. Spoiler I coached her once in my role as house swimming captain at school. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the snudge Posted January 10, 2022 Share Posted January 10, 2022 I hit a shot that hard that it broke the Hampden goals. Spoiler It was the wee warm up area indoor during the Hampden tour. I hit the bar and broke the machine much to the delight of my then 6 year old daughter. Ruined the experience for all the kids behind me in the queue aswell. 17 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richey Edwards Posted January 10, 2022 Share Posted January 10, 2022 I have scored the same number of international goals as Oli McBurnie. 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted January 10, 2022 Share Posted January 10, 2022 I know a guy who shagged Hayden Panettiere. 16 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richey Edwards Posted January 10, 2022 Share Posted January 10, 2022 30 minutes ago, Richey Edwards said: I have scored the same number of international goals as Oli McBurnie. And no, I'm not Chris Iwelumo. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
topcat(The most tip top) Posted January 10, 2022 Share Posted January 10, 2022 I own a football clubIn conjunction with several thousand other people 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donathan Posted January 10, 2022 Share Posted January 10, 2022 I used to handle financial transactions for a multi-billion pound corporation Spoiler I used to work on the tills in Tesco 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thistle_do_nicely Posted January 10, 2022 Share Posted January 10, 2022 (edited) Scored a penalty during a competitive Scottish Cup tie. Spoiler Ran onto the pitch at half time a lower league ground while sozzled and sclaffed a miserable effort into the corner past an equally steaming fan. The police/stewards didnt care enough to intervene, it was great. Saved a penalty during a shootout at Firhill. Spoiler ...in the fan tournament firhill cup. Still great fun tbf. Edited January 10, 2022 by Thistle_do_nicely 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Tourette Posted January 10, 2022 Share Posted January 10, 2022 More of a useless talent than an impressive achievement, but I can remember multi digit number sequences, like people’s mobile numbers etcWhich isn’t much use really as most peoples numbers are stored on your phone anyway 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thistle_do_nicely Posted January 10, 2022 Share Posted January 10, 2022 Just now, Mr Tourette said: More of a useless talent than an impressive achievement, but I can remember multi digit number sequences, like people’s mobile numbers etc Which isn’t much use really as most peoples numbers are stored on your phone anyway I know the password to the 2nd level of desert strike since i was about 7 or 8 yeaes old, and its still somehow clogging up my brain all these years later. HPAQMIGLEDUG. Tbf my brother helped me out to phonetically remember the last bit, H P A Q Mig Le Dug. Dunno how to verify it and cant be arsed googling but if you have an atari lynx and desert strike lying around i guarantee that'll skip the first level for you. More straightforward but COVERTOPS for c&c on the playstation. My brother was amused when i kept pronouncing/reading it as Cover Tops, took me years to realise why. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fullerene Posted January 10, 2022 Share Posted January 10, 2022 Back in 2004, I was on the inaugural flight from Prestwick to Dusseldorf. Total cost £12.98 (i.e. 1p plus taxes). 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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