Monkey Tennis Posted April 27, 2023 Share Posted April 27, 2023 The Pope could have just given him a wee wafer he'd spoken over for a bit. That would have beaten some wee pieces of wood. It would have actually been a bit of Jesus himself. What a gift! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Steele Posted April 27, 2023 Share Posted April 27, 2023 I was a bit underwhelmed at the low key celebrations so had decided not to make the Coronation Quiche, but knowing Chuck's got a couple of wooden splinters in his pocket is a game changer. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted April 27, 2023 Share Posted April 27, 2023 If you combined all parts of 'the true cross' then the actual thing would have been the size of a fucking wicker man. But then I suppose you can hand out as many fictional pieces of a fictional cross as you want (given the whole fictional nature of it). 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkey Tennis Posted April 27, 2023 Share Posted April 27, 2023 18 minutes ago, DA Baracus said: If you combined all parts of 'the true cross' then the actual thing would have been the size of a fucking wicker man. But then I suppose you can hand out as many fictional pieces of a fictional cross as you want (given the whole fictional nature of it). I don't know that the crucifixion was necessarily fictional. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bennett Posted April 27, 2023 Share Posted April 27, 2023 3 hours ago, IrishBhoy said: The ACTUAL cross Jesus Christ was crucified on The Pope must think everyone buttons up the back. You're lucky that Clown Job got banned. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrishBhoy Posted April 27, 2023 Share Posted April 27, 2023 1 hour ago, DA Baracus said: If you combined all parts of 'the true cross' then the actual thing would have been the size of a fucking wicker man. But then I suppose you can hand out as many fictional pieces of a fictional cross as you want (given the whole fictional nature of it). The Pope is probably sitting sniggering away to himself after being lauded for such a poignant gift. Probably picked the shards off the edge of his wooden desk with a toe nail clipper. I mean to be fair to him, if anyone is going to have access to the cross Jesus died on it’s probably going to be the Pope. If I turned up at my sisters wedding with a gift bag holding 2 pieces of timber superglued on to a gem stone and said they were ‘shards of the True Cross, the actual cross used in the crucifixion of Jesus Christ’ not many people are going to believe me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted April 27, 2023 Share Posted April 27, 2023 7 hours ago, IrishBhoy said: The ACTUAL cross Jesus Christ was crucified on The Pope must think everyone buttons up the back. "That's the great thing about Catholicism. It's so vague and no-one knows what you're talking about" Theologian St Ted of Craggy Island 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrishBhoy Posted April 27, 2023 Share Posted April 27, 2023 27 minutes ago, tamthebam said: "That's the great thing about Catholicism. It's so vague and no-one knows what you're talking about" Theologian St Ted of Craggy Island ‘I hear you’re a paedophile now Prince Andrew’. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted April 27, 2023 Share Posted April 27, 2023 4 hours ago, bennett said: You're lucky that Clown Job got banned. It's a shame he was. I have a few splinters I could sell him. Genuine, right off the cross. Certificate of authenticity and everything. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted April 27, 2023 Share Posted April 27, 2023 44 minutes ago, scottsdad said: It's a shame he was. I have a few splinters I could sell him. Genuine, right off the cross. Certificate of authenticity and everything. I'll sell you a Scotland team relic. Splinters of the true Hampden subs bench removed from Scott Gemmell's arse 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted April 28, 2023 Share Posted April 28, 2023 In "Innocents Abroad", published 1869, Mark Twain recounts the story of a group of Americans touring Europe and the Middle East. At almost every stop they purchased slivers of the "true cross". Seems like it was big business even in the early days of tourism, On another note, did crucifixees each get their own, custom built cross? I would've thought that as soon as they cut one transgressor down, there would be another ready to be nailed up in his place. Or do they want us to believe that as Heyseus' cross was being dismantled, a Roman soldier thought "You know what? I should hold onto this. It'll be worth something in a few hundred years. I'll stick it in my garage until I can chop it up into wee bits." 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted April 28, 2023 Share Posted April 28, 2023 Charles should ask if he can swap the skelfs for a bit of the Turin Shroud. He could at least use that as a hanky. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
topcat(The most tip top) Posted April 28, 2023 Share Posted April 28, 2023 13 hours ago, Monkey Tennis said: I don't know that the crucifixion was necessarily fictional. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkey Tennis Posted April 28, 2023 Share Posted April 28, 2023 6 hours ago, Shotgun said: On another note, did crucifixees each get their own, custom built cross? I would've thought that as soon as they cut one transgressor down, there would be another ready to be nailed up in his place. Or do they want us to believe that as Heyseus' cross was being dismantled, a Roman soldier thought "You know what? I should hold onto this. It'll be worth something in a few hundred years. I'll stick it in my garage until I can chop it up into wee bits." Don't know. JC had to carry his own one up the hill, so maybe they liked to use a fresh one. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bennett Posted April 28, 2023 Share Posted April 28, 2023 6 hours ago, Shotgun said: In "Innocents Abroad", published 1869, Mark Twain recounts the story of a group of Americans touring Europe and the Middle East. At almost every stop they purchased slivers of the "true cross". Seems like it was big business even in the early days of tourism, On another note, did crucifixees each get their own, custom built cross? I would've thought that as soon as they cut one transgressor down, there would be another ready to be nailed up in his place. Or do they want us to believe that as Heyseus' cross was being dismantled, a Roman soldier thought "You know what? I should hold onto this. It'll be worth something in a few hundred years. I'll stick it in my garage until I can chop it up into wee bits." Truly this man was the son of God. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
topcat(The most tip top) Posted April 28, 2023 Share Posted April 28, 2023 1 hour ago, Monkey Tennis said: Don't know. JC had to carry his own one up the hill, so maybe they liked to use a fresh one. Maybe someone else had to lug the used crosses back down the hill It could have been a punishment for less serious crimes like parking your donkey on a single yellow line 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted April 28, 2023 Share Posted April 28, 2023 18 minutes ago, topcat(The most tip top) said: Maybe someone else had to lug the used crosses back down the hill It could have been a punishment for less serious crimes like parking your donkey on a single yellow line The local kids maybe got to slide back down the hill on the used ones, so they felt part of the event. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Musketeer Gripweed Posted April 28, 2023 Share Posted April 28, 2023 The Basilica of the Holy Blood in Bruges has genuine big man blood as well. Maybe he can blag himself some of that while he's at it. I'm selling a telly for £10 as well Charlie, if you are reading. You can't turn that down. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
topcat(The most tip top) Posted April 28, 2023 Share Posted April 28, 2023 1 minute ago, Musketeer Gripweed said: I'm selling a telly for £10 as well Charlie, if you are reading. You can't turn that down. You mean the Volume control doesn't work? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Musketeer Gripweed Posted April 28, 2023 Share Posted April 28, 2023 5 minutes ago, topcat(The most tip top) said: You mean the Volume control doesn't work? Aye, I let that bit out, to see if folk still minded the joke. Funniest thing that ever happened on here. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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