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1 hour ago, Hedgecutter said:

Scots lingering outside Balmoral trying to put a positive "she loved this place and Scotland" spin on the Queen simply using it as a pre-existing royal place to dodge her troublesome subjects.

 

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13 minutes ago, Zen Archer (Raconteur) said:

She'll be about 7 stone dripping wet, 4 of them could have done the job.

It's a lead lined coffin.

Apparently it weighs between 250kg and 320kg.

Edited by oaksoft
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42 minutes ago, carpetmonster said:

TBF from what I’ve seen of the female experience in pooping out weans, I think I’d rather stand around for 16 hours, seems much easier. 

Hate to be the one to tell you but that's not child birth mate.

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WTF is this shite with no adverts on the telly, and having them replaced with a Liz test card, backed with Nimrod?

I’ve just listened to Bob Mortimer talk about torching his house with fireworks when he was a kid, but adverts are disrespectful, mate

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Honestly, I’m not obsessed about stories of the Queen being hilariously funny that are actually just stories about the Queen saying something. Some belters in here, with this one maybe the pick of the examples of the Queen saying something that is mistaken for humour:

The Queen had a similar experience at the Windsor Horse Show one year when a guard didn't recognize her and almost didn't permit her entry.

"Sorry, love. You can't come in without a sticker," he said. The Queen answered, "I think if you check, I will be allowed to come in!" And do you know what? She was.

https://cafemom.com/entertainment/queen-elizabeth-sense-of-humor

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1 hour ago, Richey Edwards said:

Does anyone have any stories of mundane interactions with The Queen?

I don't, though apparently I once met Charles. I don't remember it though.

October 2009 or 2010. The home game against Macedonia. I was in Braemar with my pal at his dads place. They had gone up for the games and I cadged an invite. 
 

during the game the barman turned the telly off and asked us to turn around and we would see the queen in her car drive past. Turned around, saw her and Philip go past at break neck speed, within seconds someone was screaming at the guy to “get the fucking match back on.”

Rather surreal experience.

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25 minutes ago, MSU said:

Honestly, I’m not obsessed about stories of the Queen being hilariously funny that are actually just stories about the Queen saying something. Some belters in here, with this one maybe the pick of the examples of the Queen saying something that is mistaken for humour:

The Queen had a similar experience at the Windsor Horse Show one year when a guard didn't recognize her and almost didn't permit her entry.

"Sorry, love. You can't come in without a sticker," he said. The Queen answered, "I think if you check, I will be allowed to come in!" And do you know what? She was.

https://cafemom.com/entertainment/queen-elizabeth-sense-of-humor

That article must be a piss take 😂

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23 minutes ago, MSU said:

Honestly, I’m not obsessed about stories of the Queen being hilariously funny that are actually just stories about the Queen saying something. Some belters in here, with this one maybe the pick of the examples of the Queen saying something that is mistaken for humour:

The Queen had a similar experience at the Windsor Horse Show one year when a guard didn't recognize her and almost didn't permit her entry.

"Sorry, love. You can't come in without a sticker," he said. The Queen answered, "I think if you check, I will be allowed to come in!" And do you know what? She was.

https://cafemom.com/entertainment/queen-elizabeth-sense-of-humor

Aye, there's "a woman with a great sense of humour" getting confused with "a woman who occasionally used words to converse with other human beings", although the latter in itself seems to be an enduring source of wonderment to absolute morons.    

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1 hour ago, Richey Edwards said:

Does anyone have any stories of mundane interactions with The Queen?

I don't, though apparently I once met Charles. I don't remember it though.

She turned up on my street three times

once I didn’t even bother to close the curtains so she may have seen me

I guess we’ll never know now

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3 hours ago, Hedgecutter said:

Scots lingering outside Balmoral trying to put a positive "she loved this place and Scotland" spin on the Queen simply using it as a pre-existing royal place to dodge her troublesome subjects.

No cameras... no c**t there. 

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1 hour ago, Richey Edwards said:

Does anyone have any stories of mundane interactions with The Queen?

 

I had just started a new job at a newly opened office and the Queen and the DoE were there for the official opening.  Being new, I didn't get the email about where we were meant to stand and I positioned myself next to some big cheeses of the company.  The Duke was introduced to these 3 guys, but wisely avoided me.  The Queen walked past without so much as a wink towards me.

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